A guy and a giraffe

I'm finally on holiday. For about two and half weeks....

I should be ectastic though to be honest i'm somewhat indifferent. To say the truth i think i was just tired of staring at books and attending long, daunting lectures.

My holidays ALWAYS begin broke. This time was no different. Even sourcing sh200 for a hike was an issue. But i got most of that amount, but only just. For the hiking trip i was supposed to cater for my own food.. But couldn't Luckily my sister's friend and her boyfriend catered for me. Their friends joined us as well. I like hiking because its adventurous, fun and you get to see some wonderful scenery as well.. The hike would be set on the ngong hills, a small section in preparation for a bigger expedition of the same place soon.

Ngong town took me by surprise! I thought it was a sleepy quiet place. Shock on me... It was bustling with activities! We had lunch at a quiet restaurant...where i was shown a "high speed mkokoteni", in english a high speed rickshaw. Its a hilly region so those things move downhill rather fast!

Afterward we started the hike. We climbed through a route my sister's friend, whom we'll call Y, the boyfriend, had taken before. We were not going to use the kws entrance. Our own grass routes were to be used. And so the climb begun. The air in the town fresh...my nose could breathe nicely! Normally one nostrill gets clogged up in the city-sinuses and hayfever combined is not cool. By the way, that town has lots of motorcycles called boda bodas.. Its fun to see an old lady being ferried around on a bike...

Eventually the climb got abit steeper, and the scenery was changing from farms and homes to wilderness and savanna. The winds were there. Nice and cool i must add... We walked and reached a cliff with a spectacular view of the great rift valley!

It was absolutely beautiful...

In the distance you could see the floor, a vast palin of golden grass, acacia trees, shrub and wildlife. Further away more hills. Nature moves me. I think planet earth on its own is a living mass, with a soul. Then again people just look at me wierd when i say that... Y's boyfriend said we would look for giraffes! I was so excited! Giraffes are one of my favourite animals. Traditional and ancient Africans thought and still think that it's a god-like creature. Giraffes have no vocal cords, tall and silent creatures. I wonder how they communicate...telepathy? I'll wikipedia, or use the traditional encyclopedia because its more accurate, to find out details.

We had to descend down the cliff which was a mass of fun!a small thicket of forest lay below. With a lion's paw prints around... Ever so thrilling! We went down, past the forest and into an opening. The first animal we saw was the tiny dik-dik. Bloody fast creature it is we couldn't even get a photo..

So with this clearing was a mass of acacia trees. And fireants (grief be upon the unlucky soul that gets those up their pants and unmentionables). We saw thompsons gazelles as well. Apparently to spot a giraffe, you need to look for fresh wedge shaped droppings. And those were many! We also had to look above the trees..their bodies can be mistaken for the bark of a tree..we looked and looked and looked some more... The trail seemesd to be going cold...oh no.. One of Y's friends saw a local maasai herder and asked him if he saw any giraffes...

5 minutes later he yells that he's seen one (need a giraffe? Lion? Elephant? Find a maasai. They really know their stuff and where to find these creatures. I respect them 100%) indeed in the distance, looking as still as possible but with a definate shape, was a giraffe.

I was as excited as a 5 year old on christmas day!

We went closer. The closer we got, the taller and majestic the giraffe grew Where one giraffe is, many others are around. I saw four more. Suddenly they were everywhere! This was a moment i wish i could treasure for life. You see these creatures on tv, or from a distance in parks or in enclosures in zoos (which is wrong!!! Get them out now!)... But here, less than 10 metres away from me was a male giraffe looking right back at me...

Giraffes have such a startled yet curious look...

I wish i could touch it! But as with most animals, if they're not coming to eat you, they shy away... Looking ahead i counted 10 more giraffes. Young ones and really tall ones. I like how they walk as well...elegance.

We had to leave them. It was getting late and clouds were building up...and a hill with a steep incline was to be climbed. This would be fun... The ngong hills look amazing. Especially from behind. Its like a giant wall... And so we climbed. Air getting cooler as we went...and the scenery getting ever so beautiful! The clouds hid the sun, so rays of light were piercing through making it look so heavenly! Sigh. If only D were there with me. I thought of him during the trip. As usual i'd thought 'what if'.... Anyway, he wasn't there with me. Still climbing. It was tough! I dont even know how the future hikes will be...i look forward to them.

When we reached the top, it was quite cool and time had really flown. I had a headache and my clothes (burberry tshirt and shorts) were not meant for the evening cold. Gloves and a sweater did help though. We walked abit more..and finally, the descent...

My body hurt! I walk lots but not like that. Which was good because i shows i still have my hiking skills going on... We walked down and sropped at a shop, where i saw a soda i haven't seen in years (softa/babito) being sold. They would make great mixers if only they were sold in the city...walking on we met a boda boda operator with a new bike. Clearly he could tell we're from the city. See, he too knew what lay behind tere, and asked what we thought. I told him it was absolutely beautiful...he smiled and said "come again"...hell yes mister!

By the time we got back to the town, it was rather dark. Infact it was. On to a bus aptly name "skie shuttles". We sat. My goodness it felt so good to sit on padded seats! A drunk couple were sitted two seats infront. The man who was speaking in traditional tongue, was making sexual advances at the woman who kept slapping him playfully (get a room already!! They probably did). I was in fits of laughter! Imagine if a man did that to me...yikes...

With a great big whoosh the bus started. And boy oh boy it went!!! Fast bus All i could see was dark blurry scenery... And it was comfy and quiet! And it had soul playing. What a great way to travel after such a day... We got to nairobi and parted ways. I had a good day and was quite calm inside. All i wanted was food a shower and bed.

All which i got...resulting in.....INSOMNIA! SHIT! After auch a long day, my body is paining, head paining and fatigued, i end up being unable to sleep. Why? I have no idea...it gave me ime too think about giraffes though...

Giraffes. Interesting animal of africa...

jumbled

What on earth is happening to me of late? Everything that wants to go wrong is going wrong!

Lets start with my semester finals... Only the most irrate lecturers would set such nasty papers... And I really dont want a supplementary paper. Im reading real hard but why on earth do these papers seem so disastrous? I'm scared of how the results will look like.

Facebook is another one. It banned my messaging on my profile, which resulted in me creating a new one. When asking the appeal team on facebook why I was banned, they said the frequency at which I was sending messages could annoy or irritate people. Did someone report me I wonder? I mean surely, the whole point of facebook is to communicate and as much as i loathe it its important for me because there are conversations you just cant have on a wall... Oh well.
I deactivated that profile for this week that im doing my exams. Honestly all but one friend noticed I deactivated. Yes. No matter, life carries on.

Unfortunately I seem to be having friend issues again. I really don't know what it is i do to people. Emo m wont reply wall posts. He replied an inbox but thats it. One simple message with just one word. Your probably asing yourself why I care. I care because friends are important to me and when there is no communication it implies something is wrong.

Maybe its like facebook says. I annoy or irritate people. Did I forget to mention that they said they had security purposes as well. Do they think i'm a stalker? As in what bull shit is that? Im assured for the very least thats im not the only one experiencing these bans. D got banned for a short while too hehe..

So regarding friends, its not only emotional giving me silent treatment. A whole bunch are. Why? I will never know. Maybe I will but what will I do?

I feel exactly where I was when I was 14 years old: alone, unsure and confused.

I got my birth certificate today and it has a name that I thought wasn't m surname. Ever since ive lived with my mum I've had a surname i've been using. She said that was my name. When I stayed with my dad I had a different surname. Why couldn't it have been one all along? Its hard to accept that a name you've had for years isnt the correct one. Im still appalled and shocked. I really don't know what to do. Mother dearest is not in a good mood to discuss this today. Even asking a simple "where can i change my name" question resulted in a blunt, recoilling answer: " I dont know".

Well you know what, I dont know either but im sorting that one out one day soon.

Finally why is it people dump all their negative aura on others? I just hate that, it makes me just as sad. At home its difficille when half the house is moody. It makes me feel really down and cheering them up never helps much.

Life is random...

week gone by...

Very randomly i must add...

This week i finished my lectures of the semester. HALLELUJAH!!! Now it's just the semester finals then i get a 3 week break. What will i do in that period? I want to travel and get as far away from the city as possible. I'm just tired of everything! I don't want to be home cooking for people who won't eat (trust me i cook really well), i'm tired of staying home when everyone is out (no id and a reluctant mother. WOMAN!!!!), tired of seeing the same faces, tired of the smog, tired of men and overall, tired of the city. I just wan't to go, even if its one week.

So the homophobe still talks to me. He's been much nicer of late...which is wierd. I just talk in a monotone, i don't show i'm upset at him. Honestly i just don't care! Life has moved on. He leaves my campus this semester. Oh Godnext semester has 3 units of math based things...Lord help!! (i'm not good in math. SERIOSULY!)

D...i tell you men are an enigma. How on earth do women put up with them? It's said that gay men have high expectations...well some of them...like me. He called me yesterday. Just to say hi...I felt...something. Yes clearly i still have feelings for this fellow. Still no idea when we'll meet up and talk. But he's there. So that's kinda like a good thing. I think.

Back in school, and i have to speak about this...Two people were caught having sex completely naked in the Library!!! :D my classmate, the most typical Agikuyu girl, was a key witness, who ran out of the library, tears of laughter, clutching her dress, and came to the class to tell us.
My take on this: WHAT THE HELL WERE THOSE TWO THINKING??? They were busted in a secluded corner... The cold season has a tendancy tomake people get...closer. But thats too much! Lordy... Honestly if i had such an urge, i would take it out of the school, or maybe in the washroom when people have a lecture going on...or just generally in that person's bedroom! Were they looking for a thrill? A rush? We shall never know...The classmate and the Librarian have refused to say who the couple were...I think they're embarassed enough as it is...

Yesterday i spent the day with emo M...It was his birthday. And he had the car for the day...Yes it's not everyday two teenagers get to go around in a lexus ES. Before that Mother dearest woke me up with phone call to say she left her office keys. Had to deliver them. Then Emo was coming from Lord knows where and his bus was heading my way..So i waited and boarded the bus to find him super hangovered! funny... Anyway yesterday we got involved in a traffic accident. Nothing serious. Of all the cars we bumped into, it was a government car... Ministry vehicle (SHIT!!!!).. okay the cop said the car was fine we should go, we did. Ministry car follows. Oh hell. They demanded cash from us!!! and the kind of car we;re in didn't help. At all. Luckily it only cost us a thousand bob ($11) but its still expensive in terms of our currency here! Anyway he called the mechanic and said it wouldn't cost much to sort out. Thank God it was minor damage, parts for that car are rare here, though it's basically based on the Lexus RX300 so mechanical parts are rather available...

We got over it. The day continued with pizza and just generally hanging out...My cousin was flying in for the weekend and guess who was cooking? ME! I was so freaking depressed when i got home! I'm Missing out on a party because of cooking. hell.

Cousin came home. With A friend. HELLO MR MAN!!! His friend is cute. And he kept smilling... hmmmm...My cousin invited me to go clubbing with him...said i couldn't. To make up for it he poured me a fullglass of famous grouse. yummy. I was going to go to the off licence to gett a beer but hey, no need for that since i had that....

I was totally looking forward to today's video shoot, my friend's band called sauti were shooting a video and i was invited! SHOCK ON ME! after leaving the house that bleeding early, running across town, java coffee burning my hand, i get a message upon arrival at the shoot. "we have enough extras your not needed in the shoot anymore". AS IN??? i walked far from the shoot, they hadn't seen me. I got the message vis sms. They were shooting it at the arboretum. A park. I sat on a bench, and thought. vented out my anger by finishing the coffee and appreciating the trees. Peace... so i walked back into town very slowly...just looking around. Nairobi is very beautiful city... So here i am sitting in a cyber cafe. Typing this...

I leave with this statement: I will not cry, i will not yell. Life may be frustrating, but i'm thankful for it. It will throw me off balance or get me back in the mix, but i'm thankful for it. It teaches good lessons or harsh ones, yet i'm thankful for it. Where will life take me? Only life knows. C'est la vie...

movement

What a week...

Leaving a person you like might be easy to do and say but the action is painful. And having homosexual insults lashed out at you in the process add salt to the wound...

I was leaving school on Thursday evening and then this person, acquaintance, was walking ahead of me. Obviously I would overtake him because he was walking with a girl.

Then two very sad minutes passed. He started taunting me about me sitting on dick, being bought for drinks, hitting on people, being baby sat etc etc.. I didnt answer back, I just said that was real low of him to say such stuff...keep in mind the silly girl whom i called a friend had laughed her ass off in the process.

I kept walking without looking back. I didnt want such words to hurt me or move me, but they did. Where had all that come from? Did he figure me out by my personality? I dont dress suggestively in school. My friend and I nade a pact never to wear clothes that scream gay in school...I went home and slept on the issue. Obviously this is not the first time this has happened. Something similar happened last year with jocks.

So the weekend begun. I spent my Friday with my friends...as usual. I went to the optician for an eye check up, at least i have perfect eyesight. I was abit worried because sometimes I have trouble reading text. Negligible things i was told. Im so relieved, my family has bespectacled relatives and I really didn't want to get specs at my age.

Saturday was interesting. I took A shopping again. While we were at it I met several friends, which seems to be a common occurrence when I go to that specific clothes market.. Got a very interesting south park tie! I love that animation. Eric Cartman is a very misunderstood child.

Met up with young schoolboy M, gothic M and a very diplomatic S. I recently found a great pub/restaurant that has decent food at decent prices and was very clear of any other gay people. Sometimes its nice just to be at a normal place without people undressing you with their eyes...

Then we left to go to another place thats now getting ever popular with us, where literally quite a number of our friend came and went... I wish all my friends would get along with each other! Its soooo hilarious seeing people duck under the table when someone they cant stand is nearby....

Sadly D was around. He called me earlier but I couldn't get what he was saying. I hadn't seen him in a month! A bleeding month! And he appears with P. I was totally thrown of guard! What on earth would you do when you dont see someone you really like in a whole month then they just appear? Looking gorgeous in the process?

I tried my very best to act composed. The only words i said were hi and bye.. I felt so down afterwards. I kept thinking "what if things worked?" life is SO unfair! I wont even lie, i would give him a second chance if he shaped up.

Such a big part of me wants him back and a little part just wishes he weren't around...

Then as much as I loathe facebook its an important tool for communicating. They banned me from sending inboxes because I reached my limit. How nasty! My friend said i should try deactivating my account then reactivating it in the morning which I've done. It seems to work but lemme give it the whole day and see if I get blocked again.

I hope this week will be so much better. I have no idea what I'll do apart from read...

Continue

It was inevitable. Bound to happen. Fate. (fate is a bitch!)
Yes people, at the end of the week nothing happened. He called me on friday afternoon, to find out where i was. "town", i said. He said lets meet at the usual pub, because hes having lunch there. My excited self, thinking that maybe things would be sorted out went happily! I get to the pub...

He wasn't there.

I looked all over the place and the bastard wasn't there!!! I wanted to scream. Very loudly i must add. I didn't though. Funny thing is, i just walked off and went to meet my friends. I sent a text asking where he's at but nothing! So friday afternoon went without seeing him. I therefore decided that if by Sunday he doesn't talk or communicate or just do anything regarding me, i'd become single again.

Its not worth saying your someone's boyfriend when the boyfriend himself doesn't play his part. Not even play, be. He wasn't what i thought he'd be. How sad.

Ran into my other friend whose name also starts with A whom i'll call....Random A. Then met A himself later to take me to buy another cellphone. I got rid of the blackberry. Why? My friend wanted it and i wasn't making a loss. And i got a windows based smartphone from my dad. Too expensive to carry around though. And what awful battery life! So i bought a flip. A walkman. Thats locked. Shit. I'll have it unlocked soon...meanwhile its back to using my 9 year old nokia. It does the basics which is most important.

Saturday saw me go shopping again! and meeting up people at a restaurant. A wanted stuff so we had gone out shopping, where i found a unbc (united colours of benetton) bag dirt cheap. Why is it that i always end up hating bags i purchase? sigh... i'll grow to love it. I think.

Sunday. I read for accounts. Well i tried to. I Sent D a message asking why he's so quiet. Just a friendly, polite message. No reply. Even today My texts messages of friday, my facebook mail and my calls have gone amiss. With a heavy heart i told myself i need not go through all this... Somewhere out there is someone who'll appreciate me, love me and be talkative.

As for now, i remain single.

What a familiar setting...