I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Until then old friend
Your secret is safe with me
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
|Out of reach, so far,
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There’s a life out there for me ----------->out of reach-Gabrielle|
Me. Beware this long post. Have tea while you read even!
Friday saw me going to visit my hag at her hostel while we told each other stories and had some yummy mozzie food. Friday also saw me going for a suprise get together for S. Orchestrated by A, T, diplomatic one, big p and i. I would be the distraction to keep S busy until they all came at once. Let's just say that evening went well. I was ill (yes i still have that blasted flu) and my voice was on the brink of vanishing again. I didn't even drink much. Lets say i tasted. Stupid acidity's made me miss having 30something year old whiskey... I got home at 2am. I left my phone on, superman hadn't called or texted that day (or week-ill explain) and Slept until 4am. My phone rings. Its my sister. Long story short she wouldn't be coming home that night. The plan? Make her room look like she came, slept, woke up, dressed and left early the next day. Mind you the previous night we hid a guy friend of hers in the room and Thatcher didn't find out (nearly did when we forgot to hide the shoes, she didn't see them).
Saturday morning. It's 8am and my phone's ringing. Not superman. My classmate. Blah blah blah groupwork meeting in UNEP this morning, he said. I didn't even have tea, i got up, dressed and left! We get there and its closed. They dont work Saturdays. Oops, we forgot. Off to bum at A & T's place then. Found A and diplomatic one and j. Haven't seen j in a while. We watched some b-list gargoyle movie and shooter. Then we went about to look for a restaurant to hold a dinner to. Call it recon if you may. That went well, i hadn't had chinese in a while! Sir j appeared as well. Off to westlands after (such derailers). No word from superman. By the by, i just knew i'd land in shit with Thatcher the next day so i told myself "screw it, i'm in trouble already i might as well attempt to have fun."
That party was a queer party. It was a starry night with a half moon, cool temps. They had cooooool lazer lights! In that party i'd find two former sausage kamatwa'ds of mine from two years ago and my ex boyfriend D. Oh boy. It wasn't awkward. I met new people too... "where's superman?" i kept being asked. "uuuummm no idea" i kept saying. (i told you imma explain that in a wee bit) I danced abit... Dancehall never really was my thing anyway. Especially that "bend over bend over bend over" song. Shit that song's dirty.... I was dressed up in casual clothing. Passed me off as a top save for my behaviour and persona. Guys flirting with me (someone dared say "am i in season?". lame.) and naturally i'm not interested. By the way some of supermans friends were there so i'd imagine if i'd wanted to try anything shit would hit the fan between he and i. As if it hasn't already i think. Anyway i met this cute guy... We chatted for abit until....
......My old sausage kamatwa'd from two years ago decided to start shit talking there and there! Woot! He's a good looking guy. Who drinks. He was high. We got into an argument! Great. About how i'm ignoring him (really?) and to stop being jealous about him and his chips funga. "Hahahaha wait what? I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" i declared. It got heated. Mind you everyone else's not paying attention to us. It went on for another 5 minutes until i just had enough and told him "you're drunk and i'm not pursuing this matter any further, END OF DISCUSSION!" And i went to hang out with supermans friends. You're asking where small p and m are? Retreat and bachelor party respectively.
And theeeeen, D crossed dressed. Oh. My. God. Then end. I went home at 3am, home at 4am. Again. My sister walks in 10 mins later. I'm sober shes not. Goodnight.
Sunday. Today's father's day. Winston churchill (code for dad) never celebrates this day. But he is my dad anyway. Happy father's day! I have his moods. I need to go see him soon. I'll work on that. Meanwhile, I'm in shit with Thatcher! "you're going out too much blah blah blah"... She said. So i'm grounded. At age 20. Wow. This month's soooo not cool. I feel 15 again.
i'll explain superman now. Yes we're still together. But i'm lonely. He has been out of reach all week without reason. He did text me thurday but he didn't reply my reply. Calling him's just not useful. I can't reach him! Whats going on? Well, i don't know. A friend told me he met him yesterday evening, he was waiting for someone else. Who? I don't know. Nor did they. I'm not jumping into conclusions. I don't wanna impose on him by being a bug-a-boo (too much calls, texts etc), so he'll find me when he wants to. I didn't do anything! I mean, he just went quiet all over sudden... I'm sad. There, i said it. I am sad inside. I always wonder shit like this happens to me... I mean i'm good, even if i say so myself, i believe i'm a good person, i never cheat, never let down.... Yet it still happens.
On that note, lemme go and start what's going to be another weird week... Good God send a pocketful of sunshine my way? Pretty please? I don't wanna fall.
|where are you, i'm sitting on the moon, where are you, i am missing, i am missing you.--------->sitting on the moon-Enigma|
Chips funga means chips to go. Sausage kamatwa'd means a grabbed/caught sausage. Can they be used in the gay scenario? Yes you can! If you're Kenyan you can relate to this post. I'll attempt to explain using a scene or two.
So, you, the top. You've gone out to party for the night, and you notice this guy checking you out...cute, bottom. Then he walks up to you and says "wasup"! You're like, "sup"... And you start talking.
you dance, you drink together...the night's really fun! You make out in the loos and touch each other. Then this guy, asks, "wanna come over to my place for coffee?", and you go, "yeah, sure...". You're thinking "wow, maybe i've found a guy" right? You get down and dirty that night then the next day you're told "i'll call you" or, "i'm going out, leave the keys with the neighbour."...
You sir, have been "sausage kamatwa'd"!!! Yes, you got picked up, and got one night stood! And trying to pursue that fellow yields nothing, like calls going amiss or no replies to text messages. Yup, you were definately sausage kamatwa'd....
Bottoms haven't been left out either.
Assume that you're bottom, you've worn some super fitting skinny jeans and a tight tee that highlights you waist nicely... You go with your gang, arrive at the party and get on that dancefloor! Soon, a seeeeeeexy guy's checking you out! Even a normal looking guy... He come's and starts grinding with you, touching you in all the right places whispering sweet things in your ear. He buys you and your crew drinks. You get tipsy, and he's like "wanna come over and spend the night at my place?" you being tipsy and horny thinking you've found a good guy, say "sure, let me tell my friends i'm off".
The two of you go to his place and he goes down on you like a porn star! You're thinking you're soooo lucky! The next morning you're waking up to hot guy next to you, he even wakes up and makes you breakfast then the two of you go back and cuddle and more sex. Of course he'll give you his number, and you'll go home satisfied! Woi. When you call him, he's answering and you go on a date, that ends up being a sex night again. This happens repeatedly until the following happens until you confront him and he tells you "oh, you thought we're dating? I thought we were fuck buddies".
honey, you've been chips fungwa'd all this time. Infact you ARE his chips funga! You can only decide to continue if you dont mind good sex at the option of being his shag buddy, or quit, if you thought its something real and you're looking for something real, thats not real.
This is just my own view, i'm preeeeety sure others have better ways of explaining the above. Oh well...
i "accidentally" ordered a malt. I'm off alcohol and spicy foods. And i hadn't eaten that day. 3 malts made me tiiiiipsy! I'm small. And one was complementary from my classmate (whom i think likes me?)
6pm, i dash to the city! Meeting superman (yaey!) and he's spectacularly late but he comes with his buddies, they had watched that first match. (i left it halfway!) we go to that get together, he and i.
Who's the first person i see when i get there? Why spec d of course!
"i know you hate me so i'll leave" spec d says.
"oh no thats fine, just stay i don't hate you" i say. No really i dont hate him.... So he stayed.
there some other random characters there and the most delicious food i've had in recent times... Gothic one was there as well (he was tipsy as well) so we caught up on many stories!
i watched the first half of that match... Sort of. The telly got turned off when the cake came in... Superman and i were getting abit cosy in a corner whilst catching up as well..
Then i had to go. Someone was heading home in my direction! I could save on cabfare for saturday instead... Off home i went! Superman would sleep over there..
At home! Found my brother playing playstation... I just sat. I think he was expecting me to be drunk etc etc (better luck next time) but woe unto him, i wasn't! :p my tipsyness wore off a few hours earlier...
"oh my gad (you mama, where did that accent come from?) cuppatea, like, how've you been? Did you go to abraaad?" some girl asked.
"i school here, still. I like it here! I see the state's done you good?" i asked.
"yeeeah ummm it feels so village like here..." she said. Instant offence! Kenya's not bad! Plastic woman...and she's kenyan! As in Agikuyu! Not classy.
Then i met some of the brits, who were already smashed, they were talking the usual drunken tragedies and how cool the music was. Bleh. They said i've grown abit more since last they saw me... Those dj's, They were only playing electro!!! It gets boring if its not mixed with house or trance music...
And then there were thugs on the dancefloor!! Shit! As in these guys thought they'd blend in with the crowd, which they did, but i could notice something off with them. Like why are you grinding raggae/dancehall style when its trance? We warned some people about that, who told their friends as well. That was soooo offputting, you had to dance while looking out for you and your friends! It reached a point we got tired of them then we went and sat.
5am. I'm entering that house silently, i had to go back and unlock the gate because my sister was still out! Oh she walked in like 10mins later. Shit my clothes smelled wierd! That weed smoke's scent was a lingering one...
|so baby, time's getting a little crazy, i've been getting a little lazy, waiting for you to save me------>sweet escape- Gwen stefani|
No one at home will watch so i'll be on my own this time round. Normally, not all gay men watch footie! Personally, i don't follow the Barclays premier league or the European league. But world cup is different! All the club players go back to their home countries and play for them! This is normally more exciting in my opinion.
They'll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag,
And then it goes back, and then it goes back,
And then it goes back-------------->K'naan-Waving flag|
I'm off alcohol and protein for a month! (shit!) i may have hyper acidity, and my eczema's acting up. I'm off those to stop breaking out and clutching mine stomach in pain. That means black tea and coffee! YUCK!!! As in, my days won't be rewarded properly with a cup of tea thats milkless...
Superman and i celebrated 3 months of our institution together yesterday. I shan't remind him about anniversaries until the 6th month. Why? Because of this conversation:
me: "happy anniversary my love!"
superman: "you too."
I know, right? I'm just as confused as you are. Perhaps he's being the typical man?
Anyhoo, my allowance has been cut! (bullshit!) not only have i been lectured 3 times in the past week about getting drunk on thursday (it was thirsty thursday!!!), how i've been spending (excuse me, may was a loooooong month and prices of things have shot up!) and "how i'm going down the wrong road". All this resulted in less allowance (a whole lot less) and a bad mood. I will try and make the most out of it. I reeeeally ought to be thankful that i have a great boyfriend, a roof over my head and an education! Thats me tryna be positive about life...
i've been at home. Sometimes its good just to be at home so i was told. True that, i learned. Small P and M weren't around anyway so there really wasn't any point of going anywhere...
So I got to clean and sort my closet! Threw out old stuff. The result? I need a new wardrobe! Its nice and tidy though, clothes wont fall on me when i open the closet doors!
Superman went for that party! So did lindsay and sid kachumbari! Where was i? Club bed VIP section! With complimentary tea... I would have gone but im scared of that barclays AtM saying i have an empty account! (the mobile banking menu indeed said that). I'll go for the next one. Yeeees i've been saying that for a while but i've promised a very fine lady and a jolly good man that i'll go.
I had club elections yesterday! I'm no longer a vice chairman of the campus business club... I feel naked being powerless... My position is now being held by a short lovely lady. My tenure expired and its only fair that the position be handed to someone new, for them to also have opportunities...
I wonder how the rest of the week shall go...
|i can't stand it anymore, when the whole world sighs, and its making you so deflated...i've got a life, though it refuses to shine, i've got a way, it's the only thing thats mine..------>i've got a life-Eurythmics|