A June Finale

I confess, i've been abit musical lately... I don't know why though. I'm a fan of music, moreso the ones that move me. Yesterday i was in a soul and RnB mood, with Duffy and Amy Winehouse topping my playlists! If i had my way i'd have gone to campus wearing nothing but totally black....Anyhoo....

School this week has been utterly chaotic! i've been sleeping for about 5 hours or less as the week's been progressing. And i didn't even realize its the end of June... 

I wonder what July has in store for me...

Don't cha

You know when you meet a guy you really like but can't have? When someone meets you and wants you but can't have you?

This song goes out to some straight bloke who wishes i was his. True story...

"I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then old friend
Your secret is safe with me

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
Don't cha?
Don't cha?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?
Don't cha?"

An unexpected weekend just flew by me! 

It's been one dramatic, surprised filled one for me.

I was supposed to have gone camping with gothic one but plans changed (come on!). Instead i found myself having arguments with Thatcher (again) and being totally surprised by small p.

What did small p do? We met for the usual Friday coffee meet.. 

On the way there, i met an old classmate on the bus from those high school hey days (could not stop laughing) and another, ironically from the same school in the city! That one's morphed into a VERY sexy man my goodness.... Anyway, small p had superman come over! SHOCK! i didn't even know he was free friday afternoons! He wasn't, he skived class to take his friend shopping. It was so...Interesting. Now my suspicions that he's hiding something have been confirmed. He wanted to tell me something when he was leaving, and he was so shy and you know, when someone wants to tell you something but they find it hard? That one. I told hem when he's ready to tell me he knows where to find me. Lovely surprise though...

 Saturday. Most of the day was spent indoors doing economic geography. Long term paper! Then plans for a dinner came. And when it came to getting permission, Thatcher just... ah, that mother of mine can be a serious handful! I got lectured for "disrespecting the house" by coming late (woman, i've been calling and texting and giving you notice beforehand!!!!), how my sister and i have been drinking lots (ah ah, it's my sister! I haven't been properrly drunk in a month or so!) And basically lots of other things i won't mention. When i tried to explain, in the nicest way possible, she just shut me down and dismissed the conversation. I was so pissed off!!! No really, now that's disrespectful. I walked out! I refused to talk to her the rest of the afternoon. Even after trying to talk to my elder brother (he needs a name here) he didn't help.

Point is, i went for the dinner. Chinese is really one of my favourite meals... Another reason i was indoors that Saturday, superman had gone upcountry for a burial. And small p and m were occupied with other things..

I got back home at 11pm as instructed. Not cool. I really don't like being a party pooper! There are days when i consider just to stop hanging out with my friends because i always ruin plans for them or hold them down... Oh well.. i'llfigure something out. The point is, i'm getting nye nye nye'd for things that aren't even my fault. Even talking to my sister wont yield results... Ah! I'm just going to soldier on. I would imagine that corporate managers go through hell themselves and soldier on even with no solution in sight...

Oh, i'm grounded. At age 20. i know... Infact save your breath. I'll know what to do by week's end.

And then an abbismal performance by the English team. HAd Adolf Hitler been alive today, he'd be very pleased. Schnell!! i'm not supporting any other teams now, all of mine have been knocked out. Who will win the world cup i wonder?

Sunday was boring. I just lazed about... It's my last truly free Sunday, seeing as i have to start reading for my semester finals now. Last semester's results werenot too impressive. That needs to be handled. Infact i might re-do a unit or two next semester IF and only IF i'm motivated to do so, those were difficult!

Now for this week. How will things go? i'm being the genuine Kenyan student, and will survive on less than a dollar a day this week. Shocking innit? The average Kenyan student in university spends less than 79KSH ($1) a day. I'm about to prove that theory...

Have a splendid week wont you?

|Hero-Enrique Eglasias|

could you believe

My favourite chill out trance artist ATB has done it again! My music player says i've played the song 17 times. And it has a really nice video! Lets pray this weekend goes well shall we? I'm about to be shagged by an environmental management exam...

Little Miss advisor

"You've been a whiny bitch lately." 

Ouch! That was said by a very good friend of mine when i was explaining what was up yesterday. Yes i've been posting abit much as well. "you worry too much and you need to start behaving like a man!" God i got the lecture of the week from her! Essentially, she said i shouldn't worry. I should just wait and sit this through, as much as it bites me... "If you mean anything to him he'll find you and talk to you. Guys just need some time to themselves, they'll end up missing you." she said. Besides, if the worst happens, you'll be fine in no time. I think you're just scared of the worst. After the worst things will be fine again. Besides, there's a waiting list of guys who want you as their own remember? ;)" she said. 

She's right. I'm just scared of going through that really bad process if the worst happened. But it hasn't, thats what i need to remind myself. The worst hasn't happened. "Now, sharrap and sleep!" she said. It was good i'd talked to her. In high school she'd been one of the few people who was totally supportive of my finding my sexuality... Okay, I'll continue with life. I really hope she's right about this...

I'll just focus on other things, like the three exams i i have this week and how i need to coax Thatcher to unground my sister and i...

|little girl- Enrique Eglasias|

Intuition

This is the best way to express myself today. I can't think straight. I just don't know what's going on with superman... despite talking to him i still feel something's wrong.

|Out of reach, so far,
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There’s a life out there for me ----------->out of reach-Gabrielle|

flashing lights

He's walking quickly, looking dead straight ahead holding his bag's strap as he moves briskly on the pavement, next to a busy road.
Me. Beware this long post. Have tea while you read even!

Friday saw me going to visit my hag at her hostel while we told each other stories and had some yummy mozzie food. Friday also saw me going for a suprise get together for S. Orchestrated by A, T, diplomatic one, big p and i. I would be the distraction to keep S busy until they all came at once. Let's just say that evening went well. I was ill (yes i still have that blasted flu) and my voice was on the brink of vanishing again. I didn't even drink much. Lets say i tasted. Stupid acidity's made me miss having 30something year old whiskey... I got home at 2am. I left my phone on, superman hadn't called or texted that day (or week-ill explain) and Slept until 4am. My phone rings. Its my sister. Long story short she wouldn't be coming home that night. The plan? Make her room look like she came, slept, woke up, dressed and left early the next day. Mind you the previous night we hid a guy friend of hers in the room and Thatcher didn't find out (nearly did when we forgot to hide the shoes, she didn't see them).

Saturday morning. It's 8am and my phone's ringing. Not superman. My classmate. Blah blah blah groupwork meeting in UNEP this morning, he said. I didn't even have tea, i got up, dressed and left! We get there and its closed. They dont work Saturdays. Oops, we forgot. Off to bum at A & T's place then. Found A and diplomatic one and j. Haven't seen j in a while. We watched some b-list gargoyle movie and shooter. Then we went about to look for a restaurant to hold a dinner to. Call it recon if you may. That went well, i hadn't had chinese in a while! Sir j appeared as well. Off to westlands after (such derailers). No word from superman. By the by, i just knew i'd land in shit with Thatcher the next day so i told myself "screw it, i'm in trouble already i might as well attempt to have fun."

That party was a queer party. It was a starry night with a half moon, cool temps. They had cooooool lazer lights! In that party i'd find two former sausage kamatwa'ds of mine from two years ago and my ex boyfriend D. Oh boy. It wasn't awkward. I met new people too... "where's superman?" i kept being asked. "uuuummm no idea" i kept saying. (i told you imma explain that in a wee bit) I danced abit... Dancehall never really was my thing anyway. Especially that "bend over bend over bend over" song. Shit that song's dirty.... I was dressed up in casual clothing. Passed me off as a top save for my behaviour and persona. Guys flirting with me (someone dared say "am i in season?". lame.) and naturally i'm not interested. By the way some of supermans friends were there so i'd imagine if i'd wanted to try anything shit would hit the fan between he and i. As if it hasn't already i think. Anyway i met this cute guy... We chatted for abit until....

......My old sausage kamatwa'd from two years ago decided to start shit talking there and there! Woot! He's a good looking guy. Who drinks. He was high. We got into an argument! Great. About how i'm ignoring him (really?) and to stop being jealous about him and his chips funga. "Hahahaha wait what? I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" i declared. It got heated. Mind you everyone else's not paying attention to us. It went on for another 5 minutes until i just had enough and told him "you're drunk and i'm not pursuing this matter any further, END OF DISCUSSION!" And i went to hang out with supermans friends. You're asking where small p and m are? Retreat and bachelor party respectively.
And theeeeen, D crossed dressed. Oh. My. God. Then end. I went home at 3am, home at 4am. Again. My sister walks in 10 mins later. I'm sober shes not. Goodnight.

Sunday. Today's father's day. Winston churchill (code for dad) never celebrates this day. But he is my dad anyway. Happy father's day! I have his moods. I need to go see him soon. I'll work on that. Meanwhile, I'm in shit with Thatcher! "you're going out too much blah blah blah"... She said. So i'm grounded. At age 20. Wow. This month's soooo not cool. I feel 15 again.

i'll explain superman now. Yes we're still together. But i'm lonely. He has been out of reach all week without reason. He did text me thurday but he didn't reply my reply. Calling him's just not useful. I can't reach him! Whats going on? Well, i don't know. A friend told me he met him yesterday evening, he was waiting for someone else. Who? I don't know. Nor did they. I'm not jumping into conclusions. I don't wanna impose on him by being a bug-a-boo (too much calls, texts etc), so he'll find me when he wants to. I didn't do anything! I mean, he just went quiet all over sudden... I'm sad. There, i said it. I am sad inside. I always wonder shit like this happens to me... I mean i'm good, even if i say so myself, i believe i'm a good person, i never cheat, never let down.... Yet it still happens.

On that note, lemme go and start what's going to be another weird week... Good God send a pocketful of sunshine my way? Pretty please? I don't wanna fall.

|where are you, i'm sitting on the moon, where are you, i am missing, i am missing you.--------->sitting on the moon-Enigma|

chips & sausage to go

People haven't really undertood what "chips funga" or "sausage kamatwa'd" means.... I'll attempt to explain.
Chips funga means chips to go. Sausage kamatwa'd means a grabbed/caught sausage. Can they be used in the gay scenario? Yes you can! If you're Kenyan you can relate to this post. I'll attempt to explain using a scene or two.

So, you, the top. You've gone out to party for the night, and you notice this guy checking you out...cute, bottom. Then he walks up to you and says "wasup"! You're like, "sup"... And you start talking.
you dance, you drink together...the night's really fun! You make out in the loos and touch each other. Then this guy, asks, "wanna come over to my place for coffee?", and you go, "yeah, sure...". You're thinking "wow, maybe i've found a guy" right? You get down and dirty that night then the next day you're told "i'll call you" or, "i'm going out, leave the keys with the neighbour."...

You sir, have been "sausage kamatwa'd"!!! Yes, you got picked up, and got one night stood! And trying to pursue that fellow yields nothing, like calls going amiss or no replies to text messages. Yup, you were definately sausage kamatwa'd....

Bottoms haven't been left out either.
Assume that you're bottom, you've worn some super fitting skinny jeans and a tight tee that highlights you waist nicely... You go with your gang, arrive at the party and get on that dancefloor! Soon, a seeeeeeexy guy's checking you out! Even a normal looking guy... He come's and starts grinding with you, touching you in all the right places whispering sweet things in your ear. He buys you and your crew drinks. You get tipsy, and he's like "wanna come over and spend the night at my place?" you being tipsy and horny thinking you've found a good guy, say "sure, let me tell my friends i'm off".
The two of you go to his place and he goes down on you like a porn star! You're thinking you're soooo lucky! The next morning you're waking up to hot guy next to you, he even wakes up and makes you breakfast then the two of you go back and cuddle and more sex. Of course he'll give you his number, and you'll go home satisfied! Woi. When you call him, he's answering and you go on a date, that ends up being a sex night again. This happens repeatedly until the following happens until you confront him and he tells you "oh, you thought we're dating? I thought we were fuck buddies".

honey, you've been chips fungwa'd all this time. Infact you ARE his chips funga! You can only decide to continue if you dont mind good sex at the option of being his shag buddy, or quit, if you thought its something real and you're looking for something real, thats not real.

This is just my own view, i'm preeeeety sure others have better ways of explaining the above. Oh well...

|get down-madtraxx|

Early Winter

Winter seems to be fast approaching. The trees are loosing their leaves, looking like giant forks with grey barks. The wind is a slow, cool one. The morning is misty and foggy... With a haze of drizzle. 

The nights are longer and the days are short.

I really don't like winter, i get abit lighter and my fingers turn blue. I shiver and i shake. My nights are uncomfortable, with me curled up in a ball, like a cold little bear. I'm more positive when the sun comes out....

Best i brace myself for a cruel winter..

|When i hold you baaaaaaaaaaaby, will your heart be close to meeeeeeeee---------->Set you free-N-Trance|

Change is good or? VOTE!

So, it's been a year and some few months since i started this blog.... and its seems like people are changing layouts and themes...

I'd even thought maybe i ought to shift to wordpress but dayum, thats alot of work! And blogger's easy right?

So guess what? i can't decide! 

That means you, my lovely audience, gets to vote! You have 29 days to vote and help me decide whether i should change the layout and theme or just leave it as is! Exciting? meh.

My elections are free and fair, i shan't steal votes nor will i delay results from another province (i write that with great cheek!) but i will tell you what the results will be! OH, i wont swear in the new layout on that day. It'll be done like a few weeks later...

In unrelated news, i have the damn flu again! I suspect Saturday night out brought it back....

rave-o-matic, the kikoy & the football

Ghai i'm soooo tired! This is what i get for sleeping for 3 hours only...NEVER AGAIN! (i have one life to liiiiiiive!)

I've had a randomly good weekend! I knooooow its great right? What did i get up to this weekend?

Friday. My classmates booked me to watch the world cup opening and first match with them. After class we went to this cool pub near campus... Very nice.. Its red. First of all, South Africa, REALLY? That opening was below my expectations, i clearly overestimated it... And R kelly's such a dramatic musician when he's performing...anyhoo, they had a GIANT dung beetle presentation! INSECT! My mouth was agape in horror... I was sooo... Meh. You have aaaaall that money then you give us such a tacky opening?
i "accidentally" ordered a malt. I'm off alcohol and spicy foods. And i hadn't eaten that day. 3 malts made me tiiiiipsy! I'm small. And one was complementary from my classmate (whom i think likes me?)
6pm, i dash to the city! Meeting superman (yaey!) and he's spectacularly late but he comes with his buddies, they had watched that first match. (i left it halfway!) we go to that get together, he and i.
Who's the first person i see when i get there? Why spec d of course!
"i know you hate me so i'll leave" spec d says.
"oh no thats fine, just stay i don't hate you" i say. No really i dont hate him.... So he stayed.
there some other random characters there and the most delicious food i've had in recent times... Gothic one was there as well (he was tipsy as well) so we caught up on many stories!
i watched the first half of that match... Sort of. The telly got turned off when the cake came in... Superman and i were getting abit cosy in a corner whilst catching up as well..
Then i had to go. Someone was heading home in my direction! I could save on cabfare for saturday instead... Off home i went! Superman would sleep over there..
At home! Found my brother playing playstation... I just sat. I think he was expecting me to be drunk etc etc (better luck next time) but woe unto him, i wasn't! :p my tipsyness wore off a few hours earlier...

Saturday. I met small p, m and sir j. It was so great seeing all of them again! It had been a while.... We talked so much we didn't even realize the coffee house was closing up! Gothic one came, he would be accompanying me to this 6am dj's party called "kikoy culture". I've been looking forward to this party for like two months! I borrowed my sister's beige/brown kikoy which matched my khakis. We went to A & T's place first because he'd decided the mentioned time (9.30pm) was too early, and that people wouldn't be there yet...over at A & T's we walk in when we find big p, A, and diplomatic one have also just come back from a little shopping trip. They seem tipsy. Sure enough when we walk in there's wine's around! I was sooo not drinking... And i didn't! We watched that England vs USA match, where the goalie for the England side slipped and let USA draw the match. 1-1. Apparently there've been claims that the ball had oil slick from the gulf...

We left after that match! When we got there, a sea of people were there already! The gate/ticket booth was packed. First thing i notice--many old school mates who were like a year or two below me. And kenyans were a minority! Oh oh. I forgot its june. Year 11 and year 13 people have graduated/cleared high school that week! So it's a leaver's party? My goodness it was packed!! And soooo many children! It was abit cold but luckily my kikoy kept me warm... We meet some friends of gothic-who turn out to be emo's friends as well- and head out to the dance floor! I saw people i haven't seen in like 3 years since i completed my o level exams...
"oh my gad (you mama, where did that accent come from?) cuppatea, like, how've you been? Did you go to abraaad?" some girl asked.
"i school here, still. I like it here! I see the state's done you good?" i asked.
"yeeeah ummm it feels so village like here..." she said. Instant offence! Kenya's not bad! Plastic woman...and she's kenyan! As in Agikuyu! Not classy.
Then i met some of the brits, who were already smashed, they were talking the usual drunken tragedies and how cool the music was. Bleh. They said i've grown abit more since last they saw me... Those dj's, They were only playing electro!!! It gets boring if its not mixed with house or trance music...
And then there were thugs on the dancefloor!! Shit! As in these guys thought they'd blend in with the crowd, which they did, but i could notice something off with them. Like why are you grinding raggae/dancehall style when its trance? We warned some people about that, who told their friends as well. That was soooo offputting, you had to dance while looking out for you and your friends! It reached a point we got tired of them then we went and sat.

Apparently to powernap at the rave, you put on shades and employ a position that looks like you're awake but in reality you're not... I learned that with thanks to those ladie i was with! Back to that dance floor! That ice smoke was mixed with weed... And it was getting insane! The party that is. People were high all over the place. There were children in year 10 who were there! At 4am i was soooo done with that place. I took a cab. The cab driver was on weed! Grrrreat. I'm even thankful i'm alive, he drove badly! I literally jumped outta the cab! Oh well...
5am. I'm entering that house silently, i had to go back and unlock the gate because my sister was still out! Oh she walked in like 10mins later. Shit my clothes smelled wierd! That weed smoke's scent was a lingering one...

Sunday. I slept for 3 hours. I was up at 8am and i had to read for this applied econ cat (i need a miracle to pass that) which didn't work out too well. At least i know some formulas... I started feeling severe fatigue from 8pm.. I slept... I nearly didn't wake up today! Did. Not. Want. School! But i had to.

Now i'm left wondering how the week will be...

(photo: Kikoy culture event facebook page)

|so baby, time's getting a little crazy, i've been getting a little lazy, waiting for you to save me------>sweet escape- Gwen stefani|

World cup manana!

It's that time when all the nations come together to watch and play a hooligan's game! Football! OR is it soccer in American English?

FIFA world cup 2010 is in my continent and i can't go! I'll be watching it from home. Or a sports bar. Or someones house? All three i guess.

Since i was a child, i've always watched the world cup. I know Winston Churchill (read my father) will be recording this, like all others (even before i was born!)

No one at home will watch so i'll be on my own this time round. Normally, not all gay men watch footie! Personally, i don't follow the Barclays premier league or the European league. But world cup is different! All the club players go back to their home countries and play for them! This is normally more exciting in my opinion.

Today my classmates are dragging me (literally) to a bar to watch the opening! I wont be drinking (shock) because of that hyper acidity thing, which by the way has gone down lots, so i'll just watch them get drunk (one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!) and laugh... Besides i'm going to meet small p and m for coffee! And then i have some random party superman invited me to go for. Because of it,i wont be able to go for this kick arse kikoy party in karen! Sacrifises have to be made. All for him. Oh, Saturday i'm sooooo gonna read, i have a CAT on Monday and like 3 term papers to do!

Who am i supporting? Why England of course! OR France if they get knocked out.

And i STILL don't have a vuvuzela! Me i want one...

By the by, that waving flag song by K'naan is SO MUCH BETTER than that waka waka song by Shakira.... I don't even know why it's not the official world cup song... i'm listening to it as i write this. Great song! i should get that album...

So this is set to be one raaaaaaaaaaandom weekend! Let's all go have fun!

|When I get older, I will be stronger,
They'll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag,
And then it goes back, and then it goes back,
And then it goes back-------------->K'naan-Waving flag|

Don't call my name....Alejandro

My favourite Lady Gaga song has come out!!!! Alejandro is it's title and that song's just unbelieveable!!! It's also Lady Gaga's favourite song from her album "the fame monster"! It's quite powerful....

In the interview she had with Larry King, she said the video appreciates homosexuality. True that!!! That video has potential to make some men realize their true sexuality! (I kid you not) Did i mention She's one of my favourite musicians?

SO yesterday, Tuesday the 8th, i logged on to her site and saw the timer, with snow as the background...  8 hours. It would be a looooong day! When i got home, 2 more hours! Later, 10 mins! And then finally, 10 seconds!

And then the page reloaded. 

A youtube video came out. I was with my big brother(yes i'm talking to him again) and he had his wireless broadband modem on, so i was aaaaaaaall over the place! i might've been hyperactive! i've never been so exited about something in recent times!!! Then the video started playing. The violins begun. And the rest is history...

My life is average. Again. MLIA

Ummm.... I've had a very average life recently. nothing spectacular has occured.

I'm off alcohol and protein for a month! (shit!) i may have hyper acidity, and my eczema's acting up. I'm off those to stop breaking out and clutching mine stomach in pain. That means black tea and coffee! YUCK!!! As in, my days won't be rewarded properly with a cup of tea thats milkless...

Superman and i celebrated 3 months of our institution together yesterday. I shan't remind him about anniversaries until the 6th month. Why? Because of this conversation:
me: "happy anniversary my love!"
superman: "you too."

 I know, right? I'm just as confused as you are. Perhaps he's being the typical man?

Anyhoo, my allowance has been cut! (bullshit!) not only have i been lectured 3 times in the past week about getting drunk on thursday (it was thirsty thursday!!!), how i've been spending (excuse me, may was a loooooong month and prices of things have shot up!) and "how i'm going down the wrong road".  All this resulted in less allowance (a whole lot less) and a bad mood. I will try and make the most out of it. I reeeeally ought to be thankful that i have a great boyfriend, a roof over my head and an education! Thats me tryna be positive about life...

....and it's not working too well.

Walk of shame

That was the walk of shame song for yesterday evening. An evening out with my girlfriends, which resulted in lots of tequila (6 double shots) and 4 beers down my throat. And i have a class at 8 o'clock in the AM. I got rained on, i got lectured (in the rain after the gate was opened) by my big brother... Yes....First train home by Imogen Heap, got to get on it was all that was in my mind....

I'll explain what walk of shame means laaaaaaaaaater!

Licensed!

So i was on twitter the other day and i say a conversation talking about a license so that bloggers literary works aren't stolen and pasted in other sites. This stretches all the way to words and pictures. The site to go to is creative commons, where you can apply for a license for free, as long as you make a donation to their cause. Now seeing as my little blue card doesn't work on the internet, my contribution will be this blog post. Small i know. It's the thought that counts! If you blog, i'd highly recommend you get a license.

If i find any of my entries on sites or articles and you haven't contacted me, your arses are gonna be in trouble! 

Btw i haven't got license to that creative commons picture above. But hey,it's a post for them so....

soooo not exciting

I've been having a (mostly!) flat past week/weekend/week... I have missed a road trip, a kick arse party, and maaany other things, all because its end month! For a student, end month is baaaaaad! It means we're broke tihihi....

i've been at home. Sometimes its good just to be at home so i was told. True that, i learned. Small P and M weren't around anyway so there really wasn't any point of going anywhere...
So I got to clean and sort my closet! Threw out old stuff. The result? I need a new wardrobe! Its nice and tidy though, clothes wont fall on me when i open the closet doors!

Superman went for that party! So did lindsay and sid kachumbari! Where was i? Club bed VIP section! With complimentary tea... I would have gone but im scared of that barclays AtM saying i have an empty account! (the mobile banking menu indeed said that). I'll go for the next one. Yeeees i've been saying that for a while but i've promised a very fine lady and a jolly good man that i'll go.

I had club elections yesterday! I'm no longer a vice chairman of the campus business club... I feel naked being powerless... My position is now being held by a short lovely lady. My tenure expired and its only fair that the position be handed to someone new, for them to also have opportunities...

I wonder how the rest of the week shall go...

|i can't stand it anymore, when the whole world sighs, and its making you so deflated...i've got a life, though it refuses to shine, i've got a way, it's the only thing thats mine..------>i've got a life-Eurythmics|