Ending February



If i were to pick one word to describe what the month of February has been to me, that would be it.

Alright so it didn’t end too badly, quite the opposite really. I made a new friend (who went back to England today-meh) and spent time with another, a Ugandan bloke. Refreshing it is, to be with people from different cultures, even if the country is right next door to ours. You get a whole fresh perspective on things and share experiences. It’s nice! Better than discussing some poor souls frigid sex life or the price of say, skinny jeans.

181629_10150118212293713_187473323712_6125571_6378019_nI attended the Sauti Sol concert for their 2nd album called “Solosophia”, which is an excellent piece of work mind you, on Friday. It was the first concert i attended this year. It was FUN! half the gay population (the affluent ones at least) were in attendance, as were others, like drunk university students and high school children having their first booze (saw one mixing tusker and richot brandy), i swear youth of nowadays are drunks! Myself included. The amount of beer i’ve had this weekend is almost hilarious. Been waking up hangoverless though! I take pain killers before i sleep. Anyhoo, the concert was just amazing! It was full! And fun! schoolboy/uniboy M brought me Dutch cookies! Which i got stoned on. whoops! After the concert, i stayed catching up with some souls like Fabulous S, which went on until around 1am. I had to go home. i was smashed! Was walking with another friend of mine, to the matatus (we’re ninjas like that) and we ranted about so many things… we even bought yogurt! Thankfully, we weren’t chased by ladies of the night, we were walking popular routes ravers take. I can say i found my bed marginally easier this time! Yaey me!

Wake up Saturday morning. I was to see my two friends from abroad one last time. It was also the day where Manchester united swept the floor with Wigan! You won’t believe where i was watching this match! THAT PLACE! It’s called Tacos. There were many “members” that evening. We were waiting on a friend to come. He came and we chatted some more. Then we all parted ways. I went home, and found myself asleep…both my phones were kaput so i was “whatevs man, im so sleeping.”

Now it’s Sunday. I’ve practised the Italian art of doing absolutely NOTHING! I haven’t even touched an assignment. there’s tomorrow for that LoL!


And that was the weekend.

The week before that was just full of shit! Very much so that I walked out of class Thursday because i had the flu (which has gone after my weekend with alcohol and good company) and i was SO irritated by two of my classmates! They were flirting with each other. I was sick enough! Took my bag and walked out. 7pm i’m home. I had two exams Friday so i read for those.

By the by, it’s never that serious, life. We just live.

Positive- The word that the month of March shall hopefully be described with.

|Boum Boum-Engima|

Lessons: man on the DL

Lesson number 1:

Don't hang out with a gay guy who's in the closet/down low in campus. Because he fucking ditches you/ignores you infront of his friends then complains you never call him to hang out with you. Did i mention the behaving like a jackass part? Punk!

|black and yellow-Wiz Khalifa|

Clare Maguire - The Last Dance

I wanted to write about so many things but instead, i find myself rather expressionless. I found this artist a few months ago, and now she has a new song that's absolutely wonderful! I just love this song! Listen.

What for?


I got stood up by a friend today. I’m not pleased. Really no one would.

The journey from my one of my universities is a long one! I’m forced to sit in a matatu, with bad mannered people that spit as they talk, get squeezed by dimensionally challenged people and listen to uncouth music. The hour long traffic and heat didn’t help much either.

I hadn’t  been to the city in a while. But it’s still the same. The homeless, mentally disturbed man still yells “Mbwa wewe” (swahili for “you dog”) at me whenever i pass him. Oh no don’t worry, he calls people that all the time, i just seem to get insulted more. So i got to the meeting place and sat, picked up the cell phone and dialled.

“Hey, you’ve reached xxxxx and i’m blah blah blah.” Voicemail. I try the second number (it’s fashionable to carry two phones in this city), and i got “The number you’ve dialled, CANNOT be reached!” Stupid robot woman from that cell phone network really emphasizes on the word “cannot” isn't it? sigh. I thought to myself, perhaps it’s network issues.

30 minutes later he hadn’t turned up. Both phones were off. I felt awful! Not only had my precious time been wasted but they were still unavailable. I got up and left for java. I could work on my laptop without disturbance. And so i walked! At java i had such a delicious raspberry flavoured iced tea… and i furiously typed my work away. I did quite a good amount too! at least i made my afternoon abit useful. I then went for evening class.

You don’t ask me to come and help you solve your problems and you don’t turn up without as much as contacting me to say you’re not coming because say, a wild animal has savaged your legs, instead you leave me hanging and waste my time!!! And you don’t even apologize for it.

No more nonsense. Life moves on.

2 years later


2 years already? Fascinating!

Unfortunately Wednesday being my busiest day of the week, i can't blog (had
to compose this yesterday night) or do much else, but i can bore you with
this post.
I should compare my first post and this. I was angry on that day, i'm angry
today. I was single on that day, i'm single today. I was in school that day,
i'm in school today. One staunch difference though, i was naive on that day,
i am wiser today!

Wiser in many ways...

Thank you readers for being such pleasant company these past two years!

For gifts, i'd love an ipod but really, i'm good with a nice chap! Make sure
to put a bow tie on him and while you're are at it, throw in a set of
handcuffs and caramel! hehe.


i am hating: TOYOTA PROBOX!


This is a Toyota Probox.courtesy of wikimedia

truth be told, PROBOX DRIVERS DRIVE BADLY!!! Those drivers formerly of Corolla 100 DX fame decided to get these and terrorize the roads of Kenya! You can’t miss one without a dent somewhere. They are common because it’s a cheap mode of transport, good on fuel, insurance (if any) and easy to drive (allegedly). So why are they driven so badly??? and it just looks FUGLY! (fucking ugly). It’s a social menace! these things are light and fast! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Courtesy of wikimedia

repeat after me, “the Toyota Probox is a social menace”.

Very good!

The probox features Vinyl seats, that are so thinly padded! It has a speedometer, and a very basic AM/FM radio. oh, and a 1.3 litre VVTI engine. Weuweh! I hear it’s the envy of Corolla 100 DX drivers who’re stuck with Carburettors!

What does one need to be to drive a probox?

  • An expired/purchased Drivers license- We assume that probox drivers had no driving school education. accelerator pedal si brake! Ghai!
  • A Khat/Miraa/Maize/Fodder/illegal immigrant plantation- these cars, usually white with black tinted windows trasport said things in an ugly unspectacular fashion, usually cutting you off the road. ferrying illegal Somalian (no offence) immigrants is a plus.
  • A smoker- because 9/10 times the probox driver i always see smokes like an industrial chimney.
  • Broke- Rumor has it shs500 fuels it for a good week!
  • Octogenarian- Are you above 60? Did your son take your Passat? then the probox is perfect for you, the old cucu with a white cloth tied around the head! I heard Cucu wa Nduta has a grey one! Baba Mbithe’s is white as usual.

Too basic for you? there’s a “luxurious” model called “Succeed” that features plastic hubcaps and…wait for it….CLOTH SEATS and a RADIO with not 2, but 4 speakers! WOW! yours for $3000 CIF Mombasa.

Car dealers need to sell this car with a CAVEAT EMPTOR that says “FOR BAD DRIVERS ONLY”. For real.

I’ll stick with my Mercedes-LEGS thanks.

don’t you just hate it when…


Don’t you just hate it…

When you go on a date and you find out that the nice muscular man sitting infront of you has the same sexual tendencies as you? So prospects of a relationship can’t happen. Or sex. Bloody hell. Remember the guy i wrote about earlier this week? yeah, him.

When your friends’ boyfriend texts you “in secret” to find out what his boyfriend thinks of him? (N.B i ignored the text, i shan’t be sucked into relationship dramas the way i was in Mombasa) Why me Lord.

When both your cell phones kick the bucket the same day? i don’t even know how to tell Churchill this. At the worst time ever!

When someone reminds you of some awful experience you went through alone? Because it was so fucking relevant to depress my Friday further by reminding me of what i went through alone.

When a waiter is absolutely rude to you for no apparent reason? Yes, i understand you’ve had a long day, so have i. So the little note i left about your service being fucking retarded, you totally deserved it. Because you don’t be a bitch with me when i’m having a day from hell. Rat bastard! By the by, Ole Sereni actually brings me 2 forks when i ask for them, with smiles on their faces. For a coffee shop, You lot need to shape the fuck up.

When people laugh at your problems? Small and funny to them it seems, but totally serious to you. It’s fine, keep laughing at me. In fact i’m a rude internet comic that can be laughed for no apparent reason. Keep laughing. I’m not.

I’m worried by the rate at which my month is going… It’s getting hard trying to remain upbeat with all this going on!

RIP headphones


Today has seen the demise of my trusty Nokia Headphones. Yes, out of all the things in this world, HIV, Cancer, prostate exams, malnourished children, dying species of animals i have instead chosen to write about my (now) dead headphones.

They served me VERY well indeed! My dear HS-16s died this morning when i was tryna drown the irritating voice of one Kingangi (is that how you spell his name?) in the journey to campus this morning. Duck sause by Barbra Streisand would be played. Or so i thought. My left ear was registering sound, my right wasn’t! Usually the right side of the headset has the call answer key and volume keys. It makes logical sense that it would be the side that gets busted. i fiddled with the wires, hoping it was the wire and not the headset, but no avail! It died!

I loved these headphones, see they had excellent sound! I’m an audiophile. Music is my life. Naturally it would make sense to be able to hear all instruments and intonations of the voice. which is why i wouldn’t mind paying an arm and a leg for good quality! They had excellent Bass and trebble, not too boomious like the walkman earphone, these were all about clarity.

Now, until i get a replacement pair, which by the way can’t happen seeing as they’re not in production anymore (they were designed for the N95 back in 2007) i have to put up with listening to unpleasant/irrelevant noises and discussions around me.

Not that there’s anything wrong in hearing my surroundings, it’s just that music drives me… walking alone is boring. Walking alone with music is fun! Sleeping in silence is boring. Sleeping with music on is a concert!

i know the Nokia shops and their bloated prices have other headphones. Except i’m not able/willing/going to part ways with 80% of my monthly allowance. What shall i do? i need to find someone who orders things on Ebay, maybe i can source a similar pair there.

So for now, silence. One of my favourite new age musicians, Enigma, had this to say in one of their songs. “Silence must be heard, noise should be observed.”

Observed indeed.


Changing Times


My somewhat short weekend was a nice one. I got a wish of a glass of gin and tonic (or 5 glasses) granted, along with some spicy South African red wine granted! This would translate into a shit hangover seeing as i was to hammered to remember to take pain killers before i slept. oh dear… i’m fine now though!

It’s Sunday, the 6th of February 2011. It has been exactly 6 months since i walked out of a relationship that i’d once thought was the best thing that could possibly have happened to me. And i’m emphasizing that i’m still single because this must be some sort of record, i mean, i’d normally be telling you about how i’m a quagmire or smitten with another man right? But i’m not. However, i was introduced to a very nice character (who unfortunately has the worst schedule due to his nature of work) who might have me a little bit curious about him… please do not get your hopes up! Men have been disappointing me lately. Okay, on twitter last night i wrote “amekuangukia” which means “i’ve fallen for you” in Kiswahili. Don’t judge me, i was high! It’s just that i’m actually interested in someone who just might be interested in me! i’m not going to allow myself to feel for him yet though, its a terrible thing when you let yourself like someone and they disappoint you then you end up getting cold feet dating… aaaaaanyhoo, i’ve met him once before, with a friend. He’s a decent guy. i just need to actually sit down with him to get to know him.

Sadly, I’ve been pushed away by individuals whom i called good friends. I’m not stupid, reading people is a gift i have. When you can’t make time to see me, be distant with speech, evasive on issues, non-responsive to communication etcetera i think those are pretty obvious signs. Whether they’ve got problems with me or issues they have, known or unknown to me, i don’t know. I give up! I look like a fool trying to decipher why they’ve decided to behave in such a manner. It’s painful yes, like loosing a friend to death. Like Maxi Priest (or was it Peter Andre?) sang, “if you wanna leave, take good care, hope you find alot of nice things out there.” The worst part is that i’ve known them so so well…but i just can’t anymore. I can’t put up with your behaviours anymore. i’m done being concerned or caring because talking you y’all feels like i’m talking to walls. If you want to find me, you’ll know where to. but don’t expect a warm reception like things were the same, because they never will be. I’m actually annoyed right, because i feel like i’ve lost some good investments. But i accept times change. friends come and go. Difficult as it may be. damn…

“Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.” That forever remains one of my favourite quotes from television. Because it’s just so true…

|Ehsas Jdid-Nancy Ajram|



Happy month of February! Though What a hellish week this has been! It's been so busy, i've been described as having "a busy face" and galavanting places in an urgent fashion...

At both places of higher learning, i've got friends already. Yes, they're ''members''. Quite hilarious really, one more of us and albeit we can throw a pride parade! I'm being sarcastic btw. The latest insult this week was ''you urban goats''. What a priceless lecturer...

This month doesn't look that exciting, as the shortest month of the year, the only apparently sensible day it has is St. valentines day. No i don't have a date. Moving on swiftly... Many people look forward to that day because they want to be as emotionally expressive on that day. Uhuru park will will be full. Right now though, some friends have told me that they've "closed shop" so that their horny boyfriends and girlfriends can really let loose on them that monday! My take? Meh.

Meanwhile, today's the first time i'm having tea in the city since i resumed uni! This is how most Kenyans have tea: boil milk mixed with abit of water, top up the mug with said concoction and throw tea leaves and or a tea bag and VOILA! Chai ya Mkenya mara that!

And now to attempt to enjoy what's left of my weekend... I'm told there's wine somewhere. Where there's wine there must certainly be good company! Most of the time.

|we R who we R-ke$ha|
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