Break: Ending July

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July has ended at last! It’s one of those months that really drag.

My little holiday had started off with a bang! No really, it did start off with a bang, i owed my shag buddy (Aka my “playmate”) birthday sex, so Saturday morning i appeared at his doorstep. I’d been out the previous night, drunk as usual (by accident) but woke with no hangover thanks to my little remedy. The thing i like with this shag mate is that he’s such a gentleman! I got breakfast, sex, and lunch! The relief after a 3 month sexual hiatus is a nice feeling. It wasn’t the first time i’ve slept with him, but each time i do it’s such an experience… He’s different from other shag mates i’ve had. Even when he sits down with his newspaper reading the news or articles and i’m online or reading a novel after sex the silence between us is a comfortable one. Just some nice mellow music in the background playing… I left there feeling quite good! And no people, he’s not the relationship type. I understand him, his life is not complicated by ties to things or people. He’s happy the way he is. And i totally respect that!

I’ve not planned my holidays but i do know I’m going to go away from the capital for a few days. I just want to get away from all the hustle and bustle of Nairobi, Even simple things like my cellphone’s bothering me! Today for instance, i didn’t feel like answering any calls. I ignored all but three. Those were important.

The joys of discovering new coffee houses with decent coffee is a unique experience. Big tables, space, and good coffee are elements of one that deserves to be successful! Tucked away, clean, and well priced, i might have found a new venue for my Friday coffee meets. Actually some friends introduced me to the place but Saturday was the first time i went there on my own will with my close friends. They liked it! Works for me.

I’m curious as to what August has in store…

|What means the most-Colbie Caillat|

“Just Friends” (Amy Winehouse 1983-2011)

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The title above is one of my favourites.

I met her when i was 16 and freshly new on the scene. She sang to me “i told you i was trouble and that I'm no good”. Words that relate with this gay scene of ours. “take the box” was my crying song when my first boyfriend and i parted ways! “put in the box, put it in the box…” her vocals sung.

As i grew older, “tears dry on their own” and “love is a loosing game” would be anthems for sad days or mishaps with the exes. Sometimes, “hey little rich girl” and “Valerie” would blare out loudly when my feelings were on a high, after getting my dose of loving from the same group.

The next morning after a drinking spree, her words in “rehab” we could all relate to! “i don’t ever want to drink again” she went on to say, amen honey, we don’t wanna drink….until the next weekend!

But Ultimately, it would be the sonorous tune of “you sent me flying” that had me respect her as a woman of experience, for in her words lay a story. A story so many relate with.

And although my pride is not easily disturbed
you sent me flying when you kicked me to the kerb
With you battered jeans and your beastie tee
Now I can't work like this with you next to me

“Fuck me pumps” would always remind me of the friend that tries too hard, or strives to be noticed. So true that song i could even name several characters that fit it!

I feel like i’ve lost a friend. When you’re used to hearing her songs almost daily or hear news about her you couldn’t help but wonder “what’s she done now?” Yes she was a drunk, a junkie, you name it. But all this is because she was just misunderstood. She was lonely, that’s why she turned to all those intoxicants. You could tell why in her songs, singing about being unloved, ill hearted friends, family… Relate them with news about her and you’d tell. I’d always tell my friends “give her those things, she needs them to sing!” Ironic that she passed away in bed, clean and calm. I hope she was warm in bed. At least she was in comfort.

I listened to both her albums just once after she passed away, as a way of appreciating her and to say thank you for her wonderful talent. I loved her music i really did! Lord knows i’ll get drunk on her behalf soon…

I feel it would add salt to injury if i closed this post with a song/ video of her performance like most bloggers have. “Distant dreamer” by fellow British musician Duffy is playing now. Most would find this post silly but me, she’s earned it.

Madam, I loved your drunken junkie personality, your “don’t care” looks and that voice, oh the voice… Forever in my memoirs and playlists, Amy Winehouse (14 September 1983 – 23 July 2011) you were truly sensational…Amy Winehouse Please raise your glasses to Amy!

The weekend Amy Winehouse Died

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bloggers note: i’ve been pushed to write a post by a number of people! It’s very long, pour a stiff drink.


“let’s just go have one for the road then we go home!” My classmate said. She’s very nice! Has a face of an angel, easy going, pretty, fun… all the elements of a desireable lady! She is also a first class derailer! (a derailer is a person who diverts you into other plans)

We get to a pub where we meet another classmate. “i’ve got tickets for rugby let’s go!” he says. Mind you i had a blind date in town waiting for me! “alright but i’ll leave after the match.” i say. Excuse me ladies and gentlemen! Who am i to turn down tickets to go see big buffed guys running around in tight shorts? =D Off we went!

At the stadium, it wasn’t too packed. Kenya vs ZImbabwe. Kenya played well but i felt they had no morale. Zimbabwe won! (DAMN YOU ZIM!) by such a close margin! Oh well. This is where my story begins. We’d bought a few cans of booze during the game just as refreshment. At the stadium, there’s several bars. One of them has a ridiculous name! As in someone sat down with a business plan and decided out of all the names in this world, they would call their bar Kuchi Kuchi. I kid you not. We went there and started. It had been raining and i was really delayed and the blind date kept calling and calling asking where i was. I didn’t feel like going for it so i asked him if we could postpone it. Actually my classmates made me not go for it after i told them it’s a blind date and that HE was waiting for me. Yes people i came out to my classmates officialy, though they’d always suspected strongly. Moving on swiftly, the blind date asks if he could come to where i am. I agree, on the condition he doesn’t mind my classmates. BY THE WAY how i ended up with a blind date, he added me on that social network and he talked me into meeting him.

I told my classmates that he’d be coming. And then i made a bet. “200 bob, he’s as ugly as sin” i say. “i’ll add an extra 200!” one classmate says. “where’s that 50” another says. Yes people i made a bet against someone, and i felt nothing! (what do you think the outcome of the bet was?) 600 shillings later we waited. As we were waiting, my phone pings with news, my favourite musician Amy Winehouse had passed away. “Bullshit! waiter, bring me another beer from the back of the fridge! My favourite musician has died! QUICK!” i say banging the table. I was a little shocked! (still hasn’t registered). My phone rings. He is here. I walk with a girlfriend to get him.

He is a character “on the downlow”, and his version of being “down low” is wearing skinny jeans, a scarf and a tight 3 button shirt. With a walk to match. I knooooooow…. We make the necessary introductions and sit. My classmates and i meanwhile, have a “roundabout” conversation. As the blind date and i were talking, they’d been arguing amongst themselves about who won the bet, the ladies had bet that the guys was fly and all that, we blokes were betting that he was fugly—fucking ugly! Well, to some he’s nice looking but to me, HELL NO! Anyone who knows me would know i like stocky/athletic/meaty/buff guys. So not only did my rugby team loose, my fave musician dead, but my blind date was not aesthetically pleasing. Shit.

And then he orders a Guinness. Bloody hell!  The evening continues. I finished my booze, and promptly ordered another one. I wasn’t anywhere near high for all this! He proceeds to literally, interrogate my classmates. A girlfriend sends me a text saying “aaaw he’s got a good personality”. I text back saying “girl please, his head is the focal point of his body", its HUGE”. And then he asks, “so why are you single?”

He pushed all the wrong buttons. “Gee, i don’t know!” i say, i ask my classmates, “why am i single?” they snigger. They eventually said it’s because i’m picky. True. We have one more round and wind up. Time to head home. So we part ways with the blind date, who mind you, was high on one bottle. I’d been noticing he was getting a bit disoriented. Shame. Please note if you want to date me you one of the traits should be to have a higher tolerance level than me! That is all.

The road home has an area full of clubs and pubs. “let’s just greet a friend of mine for a few minutes then we head home.” she says. I was like “sure why not!” We park and head into the club. The spot we sat in was right next to the DJ. Complete with a sub woofer. A very big one! We continue drinking. I confess, the highness kicked in. I confess the blind date had me drinking like the booze was water and my classmates are serious drinkers themselves, by the time we’d got to the club, i’d had 6 bottles. Not including the beer cans from earlier. This is when i started getting high. The music was so danceable! I danced. Then i got bored with the music. Whipped out my wallet and paid the DJ a thousand bob to play soul music for an hour. He gladly accepted. I danced. And danced. And danced. 1am reaches and my hour expires, the music is that whole “gully creeper” shit so i sat. Still chatting with classmates. They’d also started getting  drunk and forcing me to drink theirs. I absolutely hate Smirnoff black ice! 4 years ago i was a fish in water with it. I cannot even stand the taste. Yet i drank the damn thing! 2am. Another friend of mine calls me. He is high and says he’s coming over to the club we’re in. half an hour later i’d even forgot he was coming. So We’re leaving and then my friend, high as ever, says “so and so are the the club next door, lets go say hi!” you mean let’s go say HIGH! Which we did. Another hour of drinking and conversation. By this time one of the ladies was on the verge of blacking out. One bloke apparently has feelings for one of my girlfriends. So You know what he did?

He deliberately punctured his tire.

I know! Just to get her attention! 3am and here we are at a parking lot looking at a flat tire. People are arguing and They’re too drunk to change tires so i volunteer. The scissor jack collapsed even before i got it up, he conveniently forgot to mention  that. Luckly i hadn’t jacked up the car yet. We get another one from the other car. Change the tire. He then locks his keys inside his car. “fuck this shit, cuppatea lets go home.” she  says. We enter the car, all of us. Lucky for us it’s an offroader so there’s loads of space. 4.30am. The time i got into my bed! See? i got home! eventually.

Bloggers note again: those of you who are drinking tea or any other hot substance reading this post, go make another cup or reheat the damn thing, i’m not done.

Sunday morning

I woke up drunk! Yes i slept for 3 hours because of these churches with giant P.A systems blaring out their music at ungodly hours! Once i wake up i cannot sleep. So i’m making tea and checking my notifications. I then tell the friend who’s coming that “he stood me up.” in a joking fashion. He texts back to say he’ll come over in the afternoon. No amount of tea could stop my highness from going away. I think i had like 6 litres of alcohol in my system! Food helped. The hangover that came afterward was just…. So my friend comes. He’s gay yes. I told him to come indoors because i don’t believe in people parking outside home, you host guests properly! He meets my brothers and sisters. And cousin. He is hangovered as well. So we talk and somewhere along our conversation, with my cousin in the sitting room, says “so there was this guy with sexy lips at the place i was in last night”. My cousin looks up. I didn’t care, we just continued talking! He either ignored our conversation or doesn’t care. I was to go see a friend to explain why i didn’t make it for his house party (oh yes i’d been invited to a gig which i ended up not going so it’s only polite to go apologize in person). I tell my brother i’d be back to cook.

We drive to my friends place. Turns out he knows my other friend! Small world. There was left over wine so i tackled that whilst telling him about the previous nights’ activities and why i couldn’t come. An hour later that wine bottle was empty and i was high again! My other friend is on vodka. He gets tipsy. This is what we call Balance brought forward. Adding more alcohol the next day to your system which hasn’t digested/absorbed the booze will  get you high easily. 6pm reaches and i had to get back home to cook. Not before cracking people up with my conversations though!

Back at home, there’s no electricity. I cook anyway. I can cook when i’m high as well! CUI: cooking under the influence! I’d invited my friend over for dinner seeing as he brought me back home so he was company in the kitchen. Dinner is ready. We serve, eat and relax. Mind you my cousin knew i was high, as did my brother and the ayah. Whoops! My chicken curries are always a hit though! My friend says “i feel like another drink”. So did i! So i told my brother “im going for an hour to get a CD”. I know! He was like “mmmmhmmm”. This is 9pm and of course i can’t tell him i’m going to drink ON A SUNDAY EVENING haha! So we go to a local pub and chat. My friend sadly is bottom like me so we can’t really do anything. We talk about how we like each other, the days events, previous nights out. What are we drinking? GIN! a whole bottle went down in an hour. We were so high when we got back home we’d even forgot we were “getting a disc”. I found a music cd in the car so that helped lol! We made out. And in the process of making out my brother opens the gate!!! I think he saw us making out. Meh.

He says he was coming to see what the noise outside was. It was us talking loudly. He goes back in and we collapse laughing! I was outside the car and my friend in the car so it must have looked like i was leaning in to talk. I think lol! We say our goodbyes and i go indoors. Use the internet (you should see all my drunken activites on facebook---they’re hilarious!) and shortly after, black out on my bed. UPSIDE DOWN!

Woke up this morning at 11am and My brother says to me he put me in bed, in the correct position and removes my earphones. I couldn’t even drink my tea! Pain killers and a shower later here i am!

What a whirlwind weekend that was!

Amy Winehouse will get her own post after this one. She’s what i’m listening to at the moment.

|Close to the front-Amy Winehouse|

Italian Concerts

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“WE BUDA!!!” (hey you!) A man with really bloodshot eyes yelled. Dressed in light brown trousers, a black shirt, faded, and really worn out shoes.

“Ah bloody shit not now!” i said to myself. I sprinted and ran as fast as my feet could carry me! All the way to one very large, very central park we call Uhuru Park. Some random hooligan/thief/ruffian was on my tail! I was walking beside Uhuru-highway from westlands, so that i could make it on time for a classical concert. Luckily, he didn’t catch up with me. I might have had a high school record for 500-800 metre sprint once upon a time…

So this concert had an orchestra and a conductor from Italy. World famous Ricardo Muti and the Luigi Cherubini youth orchestra were in town for the Kenyan chapter of the Ravena Roads of friendship concerto series. I was not missing this! I was joined by a good friend of mine from uni, and at the concert i met uniboy and his friends. I also met….this man! Remember him? The nice one i met during musical auditioning, who took me for a concert? You know, the one that led me on before he told me he had a boyfriend (Damn!), or did i forget to mention that? Anyhoo, he sat with my friend and i  during the concert. Before she came, i’d been sitting semi-alone, so he saw me from afar and came to sit. I didn’t mind! He still looks amazing! Well, to me at least.

P1000843The concert was really nice, except for the African dances. What. The. Hell. It’s a classical concert not an afro-fusion drums galore concert! I felt very insulted. I was promptly reminded that this was for the diplomatic community and the tourists. They like such things. Alright. Kenya desperately needs an opera theatre.

After the concert, He walked me back to the city centre. Now this is why people call me a “hopeless romantic”, because i find beauty in scenes like the following. The sun was setting and the clouds had cleared, the temperature was cool and the evening birds were singing. At Uhuru park, there’s a big lake. Imagine the rays of the sun poking through the trees and bouncing off the lake, reflecting them? We walked slowly, closely to each other as we talked. Sigh. He is someone else’s boyfriend (last time i checked) so i knew where to draw the line. We were just talking about music, the concert, and other opera/neo-classical musicians. Nothing about each other’s lives. I feel he was doing the same thing. I suppose this is what people who’re attracted to each other but can’t do anything more, do! Right! Life continues.

Concerts aside, there’s 70 paged hand outs that need my perusal before my lecturers set booby traps in my semester finals. I doubt the month could get anymore exciting than this.

|Delayed Devotion-Duffy|

You & Sex are mutual friends

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Recently i was talking to a friend, and randomly, the topic on sex came up. He was telling me about his new friend who seems to be a good one, how they’re very communicative with each other. The conversation went something like this---

Friend: “….And he’s really nice, i tell him anything i want and he listens".”

Me: “wow, sounds like your friend is a great listener! Does he talk to you about his issues?”

Friend: “Talk? oh no this is sex we’re talking about, this guy fucks me the way i want to be done!”

Me: (with a surprised look) “Oh! Okay, so you tell him how you wanna get laid, styles and all?”

Friend: “Yes! He’s not even that big but he does a great job! He makes me so flexible!”

Me: (Still fascinated) “But don’t you two actually talk about things, you know, life problems, mutual hobbies…stuff?”

Friend: “He’s not very interesting to talk to.”

Me: “But you two still fuck? damn…”

Friend: “Yeah, the most we say are hellos or byes or asks if i’m thirsty or hungry.”

Me: “Where’d you two meet?”

Friend: “Ah, you know these random adds on facebook and then you get an inbox saying how sexy you are…i was bored so i played along. We met, the date was really quiet, but there was this tension…

Me: “Let me guess, a sexual one?”

Friend: “exactly! So we went rave then we hugged and that was enough to get us back into his bedroom!"

Me: “Really? And you didn’t mind?”

Him: “no way, he’s not bad looking!”

Me: “So really, the only thing you two have in common is sex??” ( i start laughing)

Friend: “Mara that! I have him on speed dial even! He’s a really good friend! (giggles)

Me: “Speed dial??” (Still laughing)

Him: Yes! press 9 and wait for instructions!” (laughing)

Me: (laughing out loud) you’ve won…

Yes, he certainly has a good friend. It seems they’re opposites but they have a strong physical attraction! Knowing this friend of mine, it seems he’ll be friends with this one for a while…

|Hot-Avril Lavigne|

Ended June to start July

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  • My silence can be explained by hectic schedules of university and silly amounts of work! A uni that can waste your life can also make you very busy.
  • Walked a few kilometres to the city to meet a friend for coffee. We’ve got shit rules about accident scenes in this country, no really, it is awful. Pulling cars to the side of the road without a cop, just to ease flow of traffic, can get you into trouble.
  • Karaoke night with friends was fun experience! We lost to a group of aged Men. The same men carried rifles with them to the bar, in very elegant cases. They were hilarious! Hiding from the cops was real fun, being in an illegal bar and stuff.
  • The same night saw me get busted fumbling around the house by mother dearest. Really, all months should begin this way.
  • Running into ex boyfriends or former friends is not awkward anymore! That’s mainly because i don’t give a bat’s shit about their lives. They stopped being relevant when they’re incapable of simple things like apologies.
  • Effort is something i value, so when you lack this, you automatically fail to capture my attention. It’s really that simple.
  • My walking shoes are back in stock! I can go hiking comfortably again.
  • June really dragged it’s sorry arse. See you next year!
  • Happy 4th of July to my American Audience! I’ll come for the pike’s peak challenge in a few years!
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