My Family is Frustrating Me

I know
Caught up in the middle
I cry, just a little
When I think of letting go
Oh no
Gave up on the riddle
I cry, just a little
When I think of letting go

"I'm alright" Is the answer I give to people when they ask how I'm doing. It's starting to get evident, my moods have gone down significantly, lost interest in many things... It's actually when a friend pointed out that my tone of voice wasn't the same is when I realized that yes, I'm not alright.
As a result, it's been two weeks of silence from me. Sorry about that. I've had lots on my plate emotionally and I didn't know how to express myself. Several times I've come close to throwing objects at walls out of frustration with this thing or idea called family.

I've been very annoyed at my family for several reasons.

Lets start with how I woke up one morning with very long email conversations my brother and father had. The result, my allowance slashed in half. I loaded the emails again to make sure I wasn't reading them wrong. In a nutshell, it's because "I'm not doing much." I was quite pissed off, what the fuck did he mean "I'm not doing much?" WHO TOLD YOU??? And In December? I didn't go hiking, I didn't go shopping, I felt (and still feel) like a prisoner or a jobless person on some poor, poor dole. It's not easy for me, I'm looking for a job seriously (though that's on hold because offices are closing for Christmas, and job postings are few) and I kinda need money to move around. Everyone knows I'm upset about this and I've talked to them about it but they're not DOING anything about it and this just totally frustrates me!!
Couple that with the fact I'm being trooped around like some form of maid and not being appreciated for it. I cut so many social activities just to do things for this family, I'm not ignorant, I ALWAYS put them first and this is how I get treated back, with mood swings, being used and what not.
To add salt on the wound, they made me pay for the internet bill after my allowance got pleasantly slashed. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING TO ME?? I CANNOT PAY BILLS WHEN YOU CUT MY ALLOWANCE IN HALF YOU BLOODY NITWITS! YOU LOT HAVE JOBS! I HAVE NOTHING! NOTHING!!!
Even after all this, I still accompanied my mother to my late aunt's funeral.

There's an email waiting to be sent to father dearest, I'm waiting for the sun to rise in his timezone so that he reads it. I expect a snort, a sip of tea, and him swiping his finger on to the next email after, and a 4 day-later reply. I've not spoken to my brother in two weeks.

It's going to be so much fun having a cappuccino with my last remaining note. I've reached a point of no care.

|I Cry-Flo Rida|