2012 Mid-Year Review

June Draws to a close, how do you feel at this point in time?
I'm quite calm actually. I'm resting on my bed with my back against the wall and the laptop on my laps. There's a nice yellowish sunset that's lit up my room rather well, it feels airy. To my left there's doglet making herself comfortable, after unsuccessfully trying to jump onto my keyboard. To my right there's my notes for a test i have on Saturday, as well as the ipod which is plugged into a speaker set. First Train Home by Imogen Heap is playing.

Use five words to describe your first half of the year.
It could have been worse.

Are you where you want to be, 6 months later?
Well, I've hit a number of short term goals. Starting with celibacy. 6 months into it. I've got an internship so that sort of settles starting a career off? Except what I'm currently doing isn't very interesting. I'm about to finish my undergraduate programme as well, so that's on track as well. I've taken up tennis too. This whole "improving quality of life" thing seems to be helping.

Your social life?
My social life seems to have flatlined this year, from a very spiky one last year. I don't have as many friends, and after I got assaulted in April I noticed that I've become a little less the outdoors type and more of the indoors type, despite antics to continue being my usual party animal self. Indoors isn't such a bad place to be in! Wallet and Liver like that. I do however, miss my campus social life, and my girlfriends too.

That experience had an effect on you...
It really did. Physically I look fine, but mentally I'm still recovering. I was told repressing the issue into a dark corner of my mind won't help. Sometimes I can't sleep because I still get nightmares, or certain noises/smells trigger memories. Despite all this I'm trying my best to move on with life.

On to happier topics, MEN! What's going on in that area?
Christ, It's not so good. I've written about a guy called slim whom I've discovered has a lot of emotional baggage. I tried my best not to focus on finding a guy but some seem to have found me. Like the blonde who tried to tell me allegro's a piano composer. So far, I'm still on my own.

Come on, two good guys appear and you dismiss them...?
Have you ever been with a complete moron that tries to match up to you, has poor command of English grammar and Isn't genuine; OR one that's as emotional as a broken down woman on a Mexican telenovela? Honey of course I fled! Anyone would!

You clearly don't miss sex.
Sometimes, I look at the mirror and wonder why I quit. Then I remember that I'm after something that's more satisfying. At times I wonder whether I should just go back to that cycle of casual sex with a long term shag and just shut up. 6 months later one can find themselves in a confusing place.

Are things at home the same?
It's weird. That's the best term for it. It's calm and all, but i still feel there's an air of uneasiness whenever something "gay" comes up, be it the news or conversation between family.

There's still another half of the year to go, what do you expect from it? 
I wanna graduate! That aside, anything that comes along will be dealt with then.

And your last remarks are...? 
I want the Google Nexus 7 tablet. Also, Mail your guest post entry to cuppateaKE@gmail.com. Lastly, getting into bed to sleep is becoming my favourite part of the day.


|Water Shows the Hidden Heart-Enya| 

Sunday Murmurs

Adventures in online dating

Today I decided to join www.gayromeo.com. It's a very popular dating site with the lower, middle and some upper class gays. It's a site for everyone, it's less snooty that gaydar.co.uk.
So the reason i decided to join this site was to see if i could get a shagdate hypothetically. I'm still celibate mindyou, this is more of a joke/amusement thing to see if what my friends say actually work. I opened my account at 11am. It's now 20:55pm and so far, I've talked to 11 guys, and had my profile checked out 41 times. In this period, I've had four offers for sex, and three for meeting up. I've not even put up a picture of myself!
With this site, I've got an anonymous name that's completely NOT related to me. I've seen some of my friends online with the most HILARIOUS tags. It's alright guys, I won't say a thing.I notice fake photos are also used as a standard. No mate, that's not your cock. That is a porn stars tool! Haven't you heard of intellectual rights? LOL!
I understand why people go online. Sometimes within your circle of friends you can't ask friends to "hook you up" or sleep with one of them; It tends to complicate matters. So why not go online, with pseudo-name and character to match? This adventure has made my Sunday. It's remarkably easy to find a shag online. I can safely say this, if you're looking for a relationship, don't look for it online. If you're looking for a shag, that's the site to go to. Get your lubes and condoms ready, Nairobi has a lot of horny men.

Gays in the news

In a rare moment of watching the local news last night, I observed a gay guy in Western Kenyan city of Kisumu being paraded around, after neighbours apparently realized he was a cross dresser. At 17 years old, that guy has balls! Well, other than physically having a pair, i found it very brave of him to have braids, and a totally femme look in such a conservative city. His neighbours made a lot of noise about it and brought the news crew to make a spectacle of it. It's the comments of the bystanders that got my attention. A lady and a guy said in a nutshell that gays are humans too, let them be. Then there was the idiot that got aired saying gays should be abolished and that sort of verbal dysentery. I really hope the boy's going to be alright. Let him be, he's not hurting anyone.
In the newspapers, professor Makau Mutua has an interesting article that you should read. It's basically a reply to a homophobic opinion written by a lawyer recently.
Personally, someone still needs to show me exactly how heterosexuals are bothered by LGBTI. Minus the usual bible reference, why the hate?

Bag of emotions

In an unfortunate twist, slim (the nice slim guy i met) has uncovered a side yet unseen by me until yesterday. He has what every bottom dislikes in tops. The man's got emotional baggage! More than a whole set of samsonite traveling suitcases. After much counsel with several girlfriends, they've all said it's unacceptable that the man displays this much emotional drama this early. Still, I could just wait and see where it goes. 

Academic results

I got my results, they're rather interesting. I did quite well! Very well. In fact, I had to ask if there was an issue with the grades and they said no. I've got an A in my research project. I didn't think that was quite possible in university! I'm very pleased with myself. I've got another exam this coming weekend so it seems I'll be reading the entire week. The final lap in undergrad is finally being run.

And other things

I'm accepting guest post entries for publishing in August. This is the first time I'm allowing guest posts in this blog. I welcome experiences and opinions from sex, personal experiences, fashion, philosophy and anything your mind can conjure. It's open to everyone and will not be censored. The posts can be as long as you want them to be. Two rules though, no repeat posts from other blogs. Secondly, Please have a brief profile of whom you are and what your post is e.g. John Doe is a part time geek in a local university and full time skank in the club. He is an honorary member of the crack-whores society. Today he tells us about his worst bedroom experience. Please mail your posts to cuppateaKE@gmail.com. I will reply with a brief thanks. Posts will be published from the 1st of August, so you've plenty of time to write.

And that's about it.

|Deja Vu-Kenny G|

June Troubles of a Cuppatea


My sleeping issues haven't stopped. I keep randomly waking up between 1am and 3am, and it's very irritating because when I eventually get back to sleeping, the bloody alarm goes off and tadaaah, a new day comes forth. I'm guessing it's because of the nightmare I had a few weeks ago, about that experience. Sometimes some smells like the cologne I wore that night brings back bad memories of it (I've only worn it twice since) as well as some sounds. It's really not easy to forget. And It's just one of many nightmares. I pray this comes to pass, my finals are in a few weeks.

Why is there such a duration inbetween dates? Apparently Slim (bloke number 2 from my previous post) has been quite busy, traveling with mates and sleeping. I on the other hand, am at work all day, with no time to see him. When I'm free, he's busy, and vice versa. At least we talk on the phone. I'm going to be patient, maybe something good will happen. Maybe not.

 My brother's birthday dinner was wonderful, I might have had one too many glasses of white wine. I did however, play games on the PlayStation all night long and generally bonded with him and family. 
Still on the topic of family, my mother told me some bad news in private that her and the doctor conveniently forgot to tell me. I'm not quite ready to share it but at least it's not life threatening at this time.

I now know why people say "I hate my job". I don't really hate mine, It's just a bit boring and not quite the line of work I would want to end up in for the rest of my life. This has left me hanging as to what I want to do career wise. Not a good feeling and definitely not a good place to be in, though I understand what my lecturer said about us being "in exploratory stage of career development. It is hoped that the individual settles into a line of work before the age of 25". I hope so too.

I'm told my results for last semester are out. I'm scared! Because I did my papers when I was in awful shape and two of them were done when I was in quite the groggy state. I would be quite devastated if i receive the results and end up not graduating this year. I wanted to go pick them up today but I couldn't leave the office. Expecting the worst but hoping for the best.

The other night before I fell asleep, I was thinking about my mid year review.

I'm still thinking about it.

|Waiting-Dash Berlin ft Emma Hewitt|

The Long June Post

It may contain aspects of rudeness. Because Writer's block, work and being generally tired has prevented long posts. Behold, a long post, complete with Italics! Marvel at it, or yawn and click "open new tab". The internet probably has more interesting things than this post. 

The sun's brilliant yellow-orange rays shine through my window this fine evening. The weather's relatively calm, with a gentle breeze rustling the trees of the neighbour's Avocado tree that hangs over my compound. Seemingly calm... But there's a Monkey on the perimeter wall, weaving in and out of the barbed wire as stealthily and gracefully as Catherine Zeta Jones in the film entrapment. I see you little one. It's face has a surprised yet still expression; it continues to walk along, presumably after spending the afternoon causing mischief in the neighbourhood. They're getting increasingly common, monkeys.

I'd say that things are relatively calm in my life at the moment. I had been studying for my mid-semesters which started this week. The exam was fair. Currently waiting on the other one to come round, when the lecturer announces it. I've had an awful flu as well! There's this nasty bug going around Nairobi and I seem to have caught it, such that extraordinary meds were prescribed to me. So potent these things were, I was advised to take them when going to bed.
Whilst I said a few months back that I'd be focusing on finishing uni and finding a job (or internship, which I have), I had a two dates with two individuals. I've broadened my taste in men to include "regular" men. That to you dear reader means that I'm willing to date slim people as well. "Give them a chance",  said a dear friend. This is what I've discovered so far.

The first date with the first individual involved my favourite flavour of ice cream, which you the reader probably know. Or not. This one had caught my attention by opposing my theory on some random survey I was conducting. I thought he was smart. SHOCK ON ME! When I met him, I was greeted by a tall, dark and handsome man leaning on the skinny side. But that wasn't a problem. Or so I thought.
This one decided that musical tempos of the piano were composers. Among other things, but that's the one that really caught my attention. I was lost in a suburb looking for a concert when I got that message, after I'd mentioned I was going for a piano concert. All I did was ask him whom his favourite composers were. I received andante, allegro and alto as a reply. Now I'm sorry, but this is quite alarming for me! For two minutes, I stared at my blackberry's screen dumbfounded by this bit of information I'd received. At that moment I forgot I was lost. Recovering from that, I did not find the concert, but I went home instead.
It's not the first instance in my conversations with him that I've received appalling answers. I feel that he's trying to match up with me? I've sought counsel from my friends on the matter. They feel I inadvertently intimidated him, because I might be a bit knowledgeable. Really, I look at myself as an accomplished airhead. No really.
Don't get me started on the bug-a-boo antics of his, I can only be asked what I'm doing so many times a day before I get fed up.
I dislike it when such things happen. With regard to trying to match up, why can't people just be genuine? There's nothing wrong in saying "i don't know". Personally, I don't know anything in programming. Or local reality shows.
It seems like communication between he and I broke down. It might be my fault this time, I've lost interest in him, such that when he stopped messaging, I didn't mind at all. All the best to him.

The above translates to this: daft people are still attracted to me. And they don't have to be muscular.

The second date with the second individual was also interesting. This time, it involved my favourite blend of coffee. Skinny fellow as well. Quite confident with himself and reserved. A bit on the quiet side. He knows what he wants. And conversation with him actually gets somewhere as well. I'm eager to see what my 2nd date with him has in store, this first one was relatively brief. Or maybe he'll be a blonde? I long for a crystal ball to give me insight on what the future holds.

That translates to this: I'm skeptical about how the second date will go. 

6 months of celibacy later, I'm feeling rather good about myself! Cheers to everyone that laughed at me when I embarked on this long, challenging journey. You look reeeeeeally stupid right about now. That doesn't mean I'm going to get laid anytime soon though, I'm continuing on this journey. Getting ready for tennis on a Saturday morning could be as exciting as getting ready to get laid...on a Saturday morning. The video in my previous post delighted many. :-) That venue's not for me. Not when I remember how boring the experience gets, when it's just a casual thing.

On to other things away from men, sports and carnal pleasure. (that new tab you opened get's handy here. Use it.)

It's been a while since last I listened to a great album. For the past month, I've been listening to Chicane's new album called Thousand Mile Stare. It's beautiful! The Icelandic vocals are absolutely wonderful. This album evokes a feeling of...elation. It's a delight to listen to at 2am. Right, I forgot to mention that I'm having insomnia issues again. I just find myself randomly awake. Doglet snoring at the end of the bed. Pitch black darkness around me. And this album. Sigh, you all must think I'm such a strange person. My taste in music has always been diverse.

I have no idea what to get my brother for his birthday. So many events are happening this weekend, parties and the like (watch how I'll get inbox messages asking where the parties are) but no, I've decided I'll spend it at home with family in the evening. I've been told that one can never go wrong with socks. Yes, a man can never have too many socks. I keep meaning to buy myself those rainbow coloured ones, for home use. Actually, I'll go find myself a pair this weekend. The mere thought of rocking them excites me. A little eccentricity doesn't hurt. :-)

The sun set about two hours ago. Through my open window, a gentle breeze pushes my light white curtains in and out. Solaruppras by Chicane plays in the background. My sister's just walked in, the doglet's also just walked in, walked in, jumped on me, jumped on this keyboard and looks absolutely pleased with herself. Good dog.

This is my queue to stop writing here.

| Solaruppras - Chicane |

Every Bottom's Thoughts.

Found this video in one of Gayte-Keeper's posts this week.

I can tooooooootally relate with this video.

Kinda makes me wanna get laid.

LOL just kidding. Enjoy.

3 Days, 3 Thoughts

Over my 3 day weekend I had 3 thoughts as a result of actions that occurred:
  • That statement "swallow your pride" is utter bull. That, or they're just completely daft in that they can't read in between the lines. It seems won't be swallowing other things any time soon; Just as well, we're heading into my 6th month of celibacy. I feel like a walking flame! And there are no firemen to put it out. Best I channel that energy into work this week. And a cold shower.
  • At rugby this weekend my friend, a very well dressed queen was my company. He's very smart and is delightful to be around with. he wore skinnies, a blazer and shades. Looked every part the queen. I looked rather butch with loose jeans and a shirt. To observers, we looked like a couple. The issue? At the really packed stand where we sat, there was loads of space at our left and right. Come on Kenyans, I thought we grew past this. At least we looked like a Happy couple LOL!
  • I downed half a bottle of Amarula Saturday night. Brother had the other half. Somehow, I still ended up being labelled "the alcoholic". Especially when incumbent In-laws are around and weddings are being planned. It's embarrassing. There I said it. I need to sober up.
| Call Me Maybe-Carly Rae Jepsen|
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