Ending July: More Rambles

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Not much happening with me...

Not only was my final exam late in commencement, but I finished it first. There was nothing exciting about writing my last paper for undergraduate studies. I simply put my pens back in the pouch, and walked out. There was no party afterwards, nor was there drinking down of bottles of alcohol. I went straight home, had a lovely dinner made by my mother and slept with a bit of peace. I kept my word.

I had a few drinks with my colleagues Friday evening. The inevitable question came, "are you gay?" Yes was my reply. They all had an idea, I was told. I'm more gay than Elton John and Boy George combined, despite my camp, regular code of dress. Sadly, my work emails will not have "Haaaaaay" as a greeting. I wonder how this will pan out.

My blackberry has died a cruel death. It refused to wake up, a common problem with that series. The service centre called, they've tried everything but it shan't live. It's warranty expired a month back. Murphy's law is quite the cruel one! It's not been a good month for me with regard to technology.

Why someone would fly to Cape Town and not mention it to me when I know we had a date is beyond me. "Please don't blame me." Oh, this is the dramatic man I called Slim a while back. I'm glad there was no date, because I went book shopping! My latest addition to my little library is a marketing text book.


I was sat in a park by myself yesterday killing time before my date arrived. It was a beautiful afternoon and there were thousands of butterflies all over the place, I guess it was another butterfly migration. The sun was out and the temperature cool, grass green and wind gentle. Such a wonderful time I had reading in silence. My date arrived. Quite good looking for a blind date. Strong willed, independent, young. He knows what he wants. I wonder how the next date with him will go.

This will be my last post until September. I need to go find creative self again. cuppateaKE@gmail.com is the address to send your guest posts to. I feel that you can live a month without my literature. Will I stop writing about the men that come and go in my life? Will I stop writing about sex? Will I stop writing about the moments of epiphany, the moments I have with nature, the feelings I experience? But what would I write about if I didn't write any of these? Would I be cup-a-tea, or just another tactless author of one of many gay Kenyan blogs out there? I remember starting this as a place to vent. A private yet public journal of a young gay Kenyan.

I've all this and more to think about. See you then.




|Moving Backwards-ATB with Kate Louise Smith|

Past Statements, 23 Months later

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 "I tried to tell you that they're not good for you."

"What kind of person forgives a man that broke their heart repeatedly? One who truly loved."

"If he really did love you, even after you said all those things to him, he'd come back." 

"You deserve the perfect man. In some cases, perfect is an imperfect person that causes anguish. Like a storm. Storms blow out to reveal the sun."

"It's alright to miss them. You're human." 

"I know those nights, the ones where you hold a pillow or duvet thinking you're holding them. Honey they're gone. Move on."

"It's not your fault they're the way they are. You tried, it didn't work out. You carry on. You learn lessons along the way."

"When you date a man of that caliber of course he'll break your heart."

"He's not thinking of you when he's kissing someone else."

"Stop making excuses for him, you're hurting yourself."

"Honey no bandage is big enough to mend the hole he left in your heart."

"Of course he won't talk, he's your ex."

"He misses you but he won't admit it."

"Him? He's fine. "

"Why do you still think about him? I'll never understand you, you're a complicated soul." 


"I heard he's dating someone else." 

"With time honey, all in good time." 


"Hot stuff, you are the pretty friend that for some inexplicable reason, is single. And that's just fine."

"I know you'd go back to him. Prove me wrong."


"Everyone has a soft spot for that one person that rocked their boat."


"You need a distraction."


"It didn't stop them from treating you horribly."


"We often remember the bad things men did to us but let's also remember the good ones."

"Inside them somewhere is a heart. They'll find it eventually."

"Really bitch, you're still keeping count? You need help."



"No."

"It must have been really special to you."

"When you're ready to let go entirely, let me know."

"I'll never experience what you've gone through, who am I to judge you." 

"Hopeless romantic, that you are."

"He made you feel special, it's hard for anyone to get over that."


"Was that the nicest thing he did?" 


"Disconnecting from someone is a painful process. I've been there."


"It's seeing them with someone else that's shocking."


"Get over it. I did, he did, she did, so can you."


"What you need is an amazing person to make your former perfect person imperfect."


"I'll buy you a beer if you shut up."


"Ah yes, they say "shit happens"." 


"Smile, the world misses your smile and laughter."


"The problem is that people can't compete with what you had. Loose the benchmark."


"The past. Leave it at that."


"If they didn't want to come back, that's their loss, not yours."


Ode to a musical companion (RIP iPod Classic)

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I remember the day I got acquainted with you.

You were small, heavy and grey. But you had such a vibrant face full of colour! You were minimal in dress, anodised and cold. Your two tone colours caught my eye.

But it was your talent that had me at first performance. Every instrument was as clear as a concert hall. I listened to you in happy times and sad times. Remember playing me "imaginatio" by Amethystium 68 times? Each time without complaint.

You kept me company when I was awake at odd hours of the night. You gave me comfort with songs such as Sarah McLachlan's "you want me too" or coldplay's "in my place".
But most importantly, you were there when I needed you. Whether it was drowning the sounds of the outside world, or noise at home, you were there.

I come here today not to mourn at your passing, but to thank you for all you've done for me.

Thank you, Asante, Merci, Danke.

I will miss you dear ipod.

|Yuki Song-Deep Forest|

Thoughts undedited: July

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  • Guess who's not going to continue working at their current place of work after their internships end? My boss is a boss-zilla. Like Godzilla, but a boss. There's no way in hell IT tech support (go set up a clients email) and marketing are related. Also, I've learned that Kindly, please, regards e.t.c don't make any emails sound nicer. And they need stop comparing me to past interns.
  • Friday night I had a drink with an old flame. He still looks great. It wasn't awkward at all! I have no feelings for him at all. Yaey me.
  • I broke my celibacy! In a car. And got caught. Thrilling! Clearly Friday night was FUN! Danced a bit too much though, my thighs, joints, tendons, muscles e.t.c are killing me! If the guard that busted us tries to extort me all hell will break loose. On the same topic, I found my shagbuddy on gayromeo. Turns out it was my old shag buddy from last year. The sex was still nice though. Which reminds me, my gaydar's spot on. I chatted up a guy at the club and got his number, BUT it seems I forgot to press the "save" button. Mojitos and beers obscured my line of thought. Still mighty fine though! Lastly, married women at 40 years can still bust a move! And they knew I was gay right from the time i sat down. FUN! That's how one spends a night dancing.
  • Dinner at a friend's place Saturday night. I didn't drink, health issues at bay I genuinely didn't want to make matters worse, t'was bad enough I drank the previous night. Straight man hit on me. Straight man wanted to kiss me. Straight man had no balls to do so. Oh well, here's my number, so call me maybe! 
  • FML @ getting my allowance cut. Sheeeeeet. No it's not because I misbehaved but because I've got to start fending for my own. 
  • Murray didn't win Wimbledon! Admirable performance though.
  • And that's about it.
| Goldfish-Chicane|

July Ramblings

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Its a cold Monday morning and I'm sat outside my office waiting on it to be opened. They won't give me a key because, well, I'm an intern.

My weekend wasn't that exciting, the main highlight being a graduation luncheon of a friend whom I've known for 12 years. its funny really, its seems like very recently we were both sat next to each other in geography class drawing silly things on the sides of our books. I'll be attending weddings very soon at this rate. I spent most of Sunday tinkering with the release preview of windows 8 release preview. My laptop, old as it is, runs it just fine. I think ill add a stick of RAM to it to optimize its perfomance.

I've got about 3 weeks to go until I finish undergrad, and I'm feeling so indifferent about it. Knowing me I'll probably sit the exam then go home as usual. And work the next day!

My boss has arrived. Its time to enter the office.

|Addicted To You-Shakira|
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