Weekend Conversations

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 Two gay men in bed together
"It's great you fit into my schedule."
"I don't like this position."
"This is nice."
"oooooooh yeeeeaaaaah..."
"You've got so much energy!"
"At least this lube works."
"You're making me blush.."
"I'm not a porn star."
"I try."
"I'll call you."


Two gay men and a changing room
"Oh my goodness these pants are so...weird."
"They're experimental and the price is too good to leave them behind"
"Does this make my butt look big?"
"OMG I love those boots but that price! Yikes!"
"I like these, they scream autocross"
"Ah ah, these pants are too good to leave behind."
"What do you think of these shoes? The colour's nice."
"I could take all three but the guilt, oh the guilt!"
"Shit these are so comfortable..."
"Wohooo work it, walk that runway!"
"Ass ass ass ass ass ass.... I love these pants!"
"Lets get out of here before we bankrupt ourselves. PLEASE!"
"That's a nice shirt...no no no, we're leaving!"


Three gay men at a new club
"OOOOOWWWW THAT MAN CAN GEEEERRRRIIIITTT!!!"
"Oh, dare accepted! I'm giving the man this note."
"Fine, so it's got call me maybe lyrics in it, I tried."
"Oh shit, where'd he go?"
"Those guys are so shady..."
"What! OMG we're sushi sisters! How'd you find him in bed?"
"It's still weird that we've shared a man sexually."
"I'm giving this note out regardless."
"This place is totally overrated. And dark."
"The music's a bit nice, quite old school."
"I think I like Guinness."

Two gay men by the poolside
"As you grow you'll find yourself at different levels."
"Some people have no ambition."
"I find there's no point in wasting his time, or mine. Communication is meant to be parallel."
"I find myself enjoying salads lots more lately."
"I don't understand how people get creative at a coffee house, they're so noisy."
"It's fantastic weather, I love the sun."

One gay man in bed
"It's nice that he's happy with someone."
"Should've gotten that shirt."
"Still have lots to think about."
"Doglet won't sleep here because of the mosquito coil."
"I've got a decent book to read this week."
"It's going to be a long time 'till I settle it seems."
"P!nk's album is nice..."

|Gold-Owl City|

Declining Jobs

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A challenge of being a gay person is when you have to put up issues your family brings.

I'd recently applied for a personal assistant job for a fashion designer. It's part time, pays a bit well for a starter and is rather flexible. Great for gaining experience. It was basically mine from the start, the interviews were just a formality.

My parents didn't think along my wavelength. To cut a long story short, Both Kenya and London told me that "they didn't invest all that money in my education for me to get into the wrong industry". I tried to campaign for myself citing experience and flexibility but they'd hear nothing of it. "Sat on" best describes the situe.

So this morning, I'm writing my first ever job rejection letter. It's quite polite, not too impersonal. Alright fine, it's a template i edited from Ask.com! Sue me.
I wonder what they'd say (my parents) if I told them I a gay not-for-profit organization offered me a job... Anyway, I'm not giving up hope just yet, I'll just keep looking.

And I've just pressed the send button. Sigh.

|WipeYour Tears-Maroon 5|

Public Displays of Affection

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Why hello there!

It's been quite a busy week for me, I had some temporary work to do which ended with me beating expectations (awesome) but left me dog tired! This week I got an HIV test, which was a real spur of the moment action but much overdue anyway. The result, negative! Safe sex is good sex. I bought three books to read. I took a friend shopping, I watched queer film, I caught up with a close friend, I danced...


They say the best nights out are the unplanned ones. Quite true that statement, I had too much fun again. It didn't help that I was quite high...you see, I went to visit a close friend and I made my signature triple shot gin and tonics. Before that I was on wine, for wine under ksh1000 I recommend Gato Negro merlot. It's splendid! I digressed. Sorry. So we went out dancing, at one venue that's associated with many gay men. There, I met many acquaintances and friends. The DJ sucked but the music was nice. You know, I was dancing but amidst the "sea of men and women" when I spotted him. A cute bloke. Introductions are made and we dance. To cut a long story short, I got his number and when it was time to leave, I kissed him on the cheek! In public! I know, right?

This morning I woke up thinking "OMG OMG OMG I did that? Oh shit!", And sent him a text message. It's not been replied to.

Well, that's that. Its so sad, he's the first guy in quite sometime that I've been mildly excited about and then the story dies right there! The feeling can be compared to this situation: You've just bought a yummy drink then some fool trips it off the table and it spills. That emotion right there. Enough.

And life continues.


Observations From a Concert Seat

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The hall is wide, with chairs covered in "leso" and "Kitenge", a cultural cloth from Africa that are colourful and full of patterns. The Michael Joseph centre is now being heralded as "the place to host cultural activity". The name Michael Joseph is a widely recognized one here in Kenya. He was the former CEO of Safaricom, Kenya's premier and leading cellular network. Before he left, he oversaw construction of a 2nd Safaricom building. In this building, he would have a special hall that would be used for cultural purposes; Arts, Music, plays, and performances.


This is where cuppatea sat Friday evening, with a very big wine glass full of the cheap south African wine "Drostdy Hof". At least it packs a punch AND it's corked wine. I had arrived early for "The madmen's opera" which in fact turned out NOT to be an opera, but a musical performance, or concert in layman terms.. I had front row seats with a friend. We were very gay. Legs crossed and chattering before the concert starts. Mind you, the current CEO of Safaricom, one Mr Bob Collymore was sat two rows behind me entertaining his guests. He's interesting, not elitist like some of the individuals that were in attendance.

The crowd were a mix of young and old. I was sipping my wine slowly as the concert begun. "Interesting song, it sounds familiar", I told my friend. It turns out it was the national anthem. Some "Impressionable" ladies stood up, and the rest of the audience stood as well. More on these women later on. The concert begun. It's refreshing to listen to locally composed piano music. The voices of the musicians (including one man whom the ladies loved-- he got multiple encores) were astounding. Very well performed. There was a popular producer in Nairobi who produces most of the shows in Nairobi, Dorothy, her name was. The pianist, Danson, refused to end his performance unless she sang and performed with him. She sang Bob Marley's No woman, No cry. Such passion she sang it with. Her eyes closed, clutching her heart...

...Maybe the wine was checking in, but I was having a difficult time stifling laughter. I'm thankful I did though, it would have been rude to laugh while she was performing.

So I laughed at her performance after the concert ended.  

Not that I can sing any better, I'm a horrible singer myself, and I don't have the courage to go sing in front of everyone the way she did. She was a source of great entertainment to me and may I hope to see her perform at other events!

Now, while the concert was going on there were two women who kept chattering. They seemed to know what the compositions and songs were, so they felt like it was necessary of them to talk as the concert went on. Agreeing with the musicians (loudly) when they sang lines of truth, interjecting when the pianist narrated his personal stories to the audience. These ladies were what we all know as attention seekers. They felt the need to make it known to everyone that they know the pianist. He's a famous person, I've been to several of his performances even when I had no idea he was the one behind them. The manner in which these ladies dressed... Oh well.
 Ah yes, I forgot to mention that whilst we were waiting for the concert, they were hounding my friend about the timings of the concert. "I have so much work i could have been working!!!" She shrieked. I had tried to make light of the situation by mentioning "It's Friday evening, work can wait a little." she gave me what in literature is described as a "Withering look", and proceeded to say "That's not the point i could have been working!!". My friend looked down at the floor whilst I took a good look at her. I felt nothing. I stared at this woman wondering why she allows work to govern her life that much. Actually, I felt pity for her.  She's achieved something though, to have grasped my attention enough for me to write a paragraph about her, I applaud her.

After the concert ended, the usual mingling with friends present was done. I didn't linger long, I was tired and all I could think of was my bed. I seem to have more fun sleeping in my bed than attending these things nowadays...

Freedom of speech is a wonderful, yet at the same time, ugly thing at times. 

|Waste-Foster the People|

 

...On Blind Dates

2 comments
A few months ago I was on PlanetRomeo, a gay dating site. I shut down the account, but I did leave with 2 contacts whom I've been speaking with via email. I've just returned home from a blind date with one of those contacts, and it wasn't great...


Here's why I'm not a fan of blind dating:
  • They always seem to arrive much later than the agreed time. I waited 45 minutes today. I was about to leave when he walked in.
  • They tend to look much older than their pictures suggest, or nothing at all like their pictures. Bloke looked 10 years older than his pictures! Come ooooooon...
  • There are differences in communication. I couldn't believe this was the same person I was talking to. He was vocal in the mails but in person he was quite timid. I also found myself doing most of the talking,despite giving room for him to ask questions or make conversation. Awkward silences much?
At least he was polite. No 2nd date though. I see no point in going on a 2nd date with him, that's wasting my time and his.



I do, however, have a few tips for those going on blind dates:
  • Please keep time. Being punctual is being polite. Maybe your date has an appointment elsewhere in the next hour.
  • Try not to over dress. You're meeting a normal human being, not UN secretary general Ban Ki Moon.
  • Communicate with your date. Generate conversation with them, this helps a lot in terms of reducing tension/nervousness, and helps create even more conversation. Give each other space in communicating, you don't want to make your date feel rushed.
  • Be honest with your date. Try not to embellish your self lest you come off looking like a fool. It's alright to say you don't know if topics you're not versed in arise.
  • Pick a place you can afford. Impressing someone with a place you can't afford isn't cool. Stick with places within your means. It'll make your date and your wallet happy.
  • Don't discuss your ex. It's a date, not a session with doctor Phil! It makes your date uncomfortable and shows you're still hung up on your ex.
  • Try not to have sex. Sex on a first date, is very undignified, and suggests you're an uptown ho! Have some class man, wait for the 2nd or 3rd date if you have to have sex.  
If you like them, ask them out on a 2nd date. If you don't feel like there's any chemistry, thank them for their time and move on! If they ask, it's alright (with me it is) to tell them that whilst they were good company, you don't feel there's chemistry and that there's no point in wasting their time.
I keep telling friends to say this to avoid looking like an utter douche bag later after leading on their dates--because they didn't have the balls to tell them the above. 

And life continues...

|Naked-Dev ft Enrique Iglesias|

Zero Grazing: Hello September, Hello People

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Zero grazing is an approach to animal management in which families contain livestock in an enclosed, shaded area and carry fodder and water to them instead of letting them wander in the open where they are more likely to catch diseases or damage the environment. (source)


Sometimes, I compare society with the farming practice of zero grazing. We live in enclosed areas, our movements controlled, our lives restricted to an area. We feed on bullshit given to us by newsrooms and publications (fodder) and we get milked by our jobs and obligations. Zero grazing human beings.
The gay society's not that different. Gay clubs can be the pens where cows reside, gossip and booze is the fodder we feed on, and disease could be things like verbal diarrhea, or dysentery.

Are you a cow practicing zero grazing, or a cow that's free range? Think about it.
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