Friendzoned Means Less Communication


"Lets just be friends"

Oh come on, we've all heard that before at some point in our lives. Some more than others, but that's not the point.
I realize that being friendzoned is no better for a gay man than it is a heterosexual man or woman. Don't ask me about lesbians, I know nothing about their world. (Educate a brother!)

My experience provides a decent case study. After I got friendzoned, and that whole "lets be friends" thing, I realize that communication is almost (if not already) at zero. Yes, 3 months of my lfie went down the drain but I really enjoyed being friends with him.
I try to communicate, i.e comment on photos, send messages e.t.c but communication has become so one sided that I've even stopped. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is cuppatea and I accept that I got friendzoned.

The statement "lets just be friends" really means "I'm going to talk to you less from now on, and eventually be a stranger". Haija, what if some of us ACTUALLY wanted to be friends? Is that weird for you? Does the fact that you turn down someone who likes you romantically mean that even if they want to friends with you, you don't want their presence because you'll feel weird or uncomfortable being in their company?


I've encountered men I've friendzoned before. The air was weird, conversation was awkward and they just wanted to be as far away from me as possible. I was merely being polite by making conversation. The point is, when you meet someone you've friendzoned, you can only be so polite until awkwardness settles in. This scenario is also popular when people meet their ex.

Personally, I'm yet to meet anyone who's had or having a healthy friendship with someone they've friendzoned. After torrents of communication like phone calls and text messages, coffee meetings or concerts (or dates, in the mind of the one that got friendzoned), you know, plenty of hanging out...and then they suddenly slow down communications or cut you off after you blurted out the "I like you, we've been hanging out so much, can we be boyfriends/girlfriends?", and the other party's like "I'm flattered, but I really like you as a friend", you're gonna have a bad time.

The remedy? Keep calm and carry on. Yes it hurts but eventually someone else will catch your eye.

|Catch My Breath - Kelly Clarkson|


Are they available?
Might you have any idea when it'll be available?
"No, check next week",
Is there at least a framework I can work with?
"My colleague is out of office, just check next week",

That is conversation I had at an office last week. It is a government office. I dislike government offices. They are old fashioned and things take forever to work. I will return to hound that man later this week, he has a certain thing that we need for one of our programmes. The end of the first week there, I can say that it's quite interesting.

The title of the post comes from an action I pulled off. We were having drinks at a friends place, I was tired from a long day and I was thinking of my bed. Sat on a chair, my friend's long legs were arched, I grabbed one and rested my head on it. Then I wrapped my hands around it like a pillow. He didn't mind.

Meanwhile I stumbled upon this funny video of gay men and vaginas. No worries ladies, we still salute (some) of you.

Progressiveness (sort of)

Some chap keeps drunk dialing me. I wonder if he gets courage to talk to me only when he's drinking? He's nice to look at though.

Someone might have to wait to do a masters, rather than do a diploma. The course content of what I wanted to do was 85% similar to what I did in the degree programme, which left me feeling like it'd just be a waste of time doing it. Besides, the new job doesn't require me to have specialty in that field to begin with (Yaey me?)

Ah yes, I got a job, won't tell you what field though.Touching wood, I pray this experience will be a great one. It's something to do innit? We all have to start from somewhere... even my elderly neighbours were telling me that they started low in the hierarchy with menial pay. I want to build my work experience up, only then will decent salaries stream in.

Also, I'm looking forward to Justin Timberlake's new album "the 20/20 Experience", I hope it's as good, if not better, than his previous "Futuresex/lovesounds" album.

|Via Caliente-William Orbit|

On Anonymity

It's the second week of the new year.

This week, everyone is returning to their respective places of work or school. This means less visiting, less moving and less socializing for me, until a job comes by. Back to the job sites, back to clipping newspaper ads and back to mailing cv's for me.
Also, I told my father that I'm bored and want to do something like an evening diploma to pass time by, maybe PR or communications. He said "go have a look and tell me what you find." So voila! I might be in an evening class soon.

Anonymity refers to an individual who seeks to remain unknown. Not in my case though! So I've been exposed many times before. Including recently by some bloke with SUCH a strange name! So a few tricks here and there and suddenly, there's a different email address down there but no worries, I'll reply whatever emails I get. Chai is Kiswahili for tea by the way. cuppateachai (at)gmail(dot)com is my new email address. I changed it because quite a number of people (unsurprisingly) know I author this blog. So when someone says "oh, you'll write about this won't you?" Snide remarks like those. I not only get a little pissed off, I feel quite exposed, like a criminal in a spotlight or something.
Actually, there's been many times I'd want to write experiences that I've faced with friends or company but since they all seek anonymity and or ask not to be mentioned, it leaves little to express myself with. It feels like people think "Oh my God he's a blogger! KEEP MUM OR BURN HIM!". Being a blogger has it's shitty sides, for instance, when people you date find out you have a blog later on they're either wary or they shy away or they just tell you "Don't write about this".

Alright, I'll write about grumpy cat or something.

Last thought, I found out the other day that one of my pairs of shoes are WOMENS shoes! Does that make me a cross dresser?

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