With Monkeys on My roof: Ending October


No one likes a sad cuppatea blogpost with tears of how his event didn’t run due to useless associates that run on a dream called optimism when he’s a realist, or how he got cancelled dates (FUCK!) or how he missed his siblings Halloween party because of a few drunk men that nearly sent us flying into a Bedford tow truck OR how he’s disappointing everyone because he doesn’t meet their expectations or can’t understand why other friends just can’t come for events he invites them to feel superior among many other things. So he’ll tell you about the little critters that live in his neighbourhood instead!

You might from time to time, hear me complaining about monkeys on my roof. In my estate in the suburbs, we’re near a game park and a zoo! We’ve got monkeys who’ve taken residence in some big trees in my area. When they’re going for walks or looking for food, they like to use a certain route. My street that has fruit and flower trees. My home is smack in the middle! As early as 7am you’ll hear loud thumps on the roof followed be screeching and roof tiles moving about. About a minute later a small fluffy monster starts barking LOUDLY and runs up and down chasing these Monkeys. Aaah yes, little dog doesn’t like them, they taunt her by dangling on the old telephone/electricity wires swinging low and high. All i can do, i’ve learned, is put water in her doggy dish so that she quenches her thirst inbetween barking sessions. These monkeys have even given birth to more monkeys! In the evening it’s the same story. You’re having tea reading the dailies when “thump thump thump” is heard, one minute later barking dogs and screeching monkeys are at it again! “Oh, it’s the monkeys again.” Thatcher says. “Yaaaah they’ve had an unproductive day so they’re bugging dogs again” i say without looking up. “oh” she says without veering off her computer. Really, you get used to this. I’ve got no problem with monkeys taking residence in my estate. They’re most active during October to May.


Monkeys aside, October has been one awful month and i’m so glad it’s over! UP YOURS, OCTOBER!


|My December-Taylor Swift|

Boyfriend battery: domestic violence with gay couples


Inspired by this article here.

Yeeeees, violence is everywhere! Even in my society! Gay men, Lesbians, transexuals and koala bears fight! What would i do if my boyfriend/partner/lover/pimp beat me/assaulted me/threw things at me? I’ve been very fortunate that no man i’ve ever dated has EVER done the above to me! I’ve never made them upset (quite the opposite actually). So in attempt to lighten up the situation, this post won’t be thaaaat serious, lets just lighten up a dark situation!

So, sadly, for some domestic violence happens regularly. Some keep quiet. They won’t tell anyone that they got assaulted! They resort to going to relatives or friends places until they’re boyfriends calm down. Love, they say, is blinding. So for some, as Denis says, they feel nice and loved when they’re beaten! Woooot? You’re given a black eye and you wanna stay with him? Really? A man would never, EVER lay a finger on you if he truly loved you! He’d reason out with you nicely. As with Sinia, issues between a couple should never escalate to such levels. At least walk out and cool off then come and sit down to talk like civilized humans! What good will beating do? You’re injuring your loved one, scarring his beauty both physical and emotionally!

Wewe, it’s not only tops who beat their boyfriends. BOTTOMS, raise your hand if you’ve ever assaulted your boyfriend! Yes little miss thaaaangs can go all haywire on their very calm boyfriends. I remember about two years ago, there was a party at a kijiji near state house. This Ethiopian couple attended. One of them was dressed in traditional Ethiopian women’s attire. The boyfriend, tall and thin, looked like he came straight from work, very smart. Later in the night, there were some drunk queens of Somali descent who wanted the Ethiopians man, because he was looking all so working class and the like. They talked to him and they danced rather nicely, not suggestive or anything. And then hell broke loose! Little cuppatea was outside having a smoke when two queens came out pulling each others hairs! Whoooooooops! And then after that, the Ethiopian queen goes all ape and starts insulting the boyfriend and then pushes him and *SLAP!* Ooooo daaayum guess who wasn’t getting any that night? He grabbed the guy and nye nye nye’d him and two more slaps, amidst pleas of forgiveness, were served! The funny thing is, at 6am when we were all leaving, they were holding hands like nothing happened. Never seen them since. But seriously, stop beating each other! It doesn’t solve any problems at the end of the day.

What would i do if i were beaten by my boyfriend? The illustration below explains:

True story. I’m not a fighter but you bring for me your BS i swear imma beat you down! I refuse to sit down and be beaten just like that! Why are you beating me? what gave you the need to raise your hand and beat me? FUCK YOU YOU”RE GOING DOWN!!!! and then make up sex after that. =)

On a serious note though, less beating and more loving! Make love, not war.

|The Alcoholic-Royksopp|

p.s yes, i love Andy Capp

Me the event planner, me the boring one.

I think i don’t like marketing! I’ve had such a rough week, everyday has just been ending in a low tone and i’ve been feeling rather stressed. Why am i stressed? Well, it all started with this hosting a classy gay party thing. Yes, i’m hosting one this coming weekend. People wanted a classy party because they’ve been tired of the usual ones that have…..not been up to standard in terms of crowd and ambiance (spotting and identifying a need in society like any other entrepreneur would). My associates and i come up with one and booomshakatack! Everyone’s like “oh my goodness why is it expensive where’s the value etc etc”! It’s just a thousand bob, i’ve been to cocktail parites that cost more! And it locks out unwanted people from the “other side”. I.E the gay people that cramp parties. I.E AGAIN, the shady gay ones! Sorry i’ve had to be blunt with that. I’ve been schooled (yes literally lectured and or sat down) by some people on other ways i could have hosted this event but it’s not that easy. Infact it was next to impossible, especially with Three gentlemen who was telling me what i was telling my associates (great minds think alike). But, external circumstances saw things being run in a different fashion. Shall i mention the amount of meetings i’ve had to attend? And walking! Yesterday saw me walking from the CBD to South B with schoolboy M (whom i rename Uniboy M since he started uni) to and fro! Anyway, the show’s on! Everyone’s expected to really dress up for this one! Even for the Lesbians, if y’all feel like you wanna dress up like high end ladies of the night feel free! Alors, If you’re gay and you’re in the Kenyan capital then email me for event details. I can tell you now, i’m gaining a wealth of knowledge from all this! And thank you for the lectures, please keep them coming. The more i learn the better. I’m being encouraged by some people though! And i’,m so grateful for that, including a phone call from a friend abroad every day to find out how i’m doing and how the event planning’s going. Thank you! Others never expected me to do such a thing. I pray that it’ll be a success!

Elsewhere, the men i’ve been talking to, yes, the three, have all lost interest in me. I swear it’s not my fault! I’ve been talking to them like normal and stuff, but they turned down dates. For future reference i’m NEVER asking anyone out on a date ever again! I hate being turned down! And looking like a complete fool in the process and feeling awful. Two of them are still talking with me, one’s gone M.I.A. Great. A man would rather be ran over by elephants on fire than tell you he’s just not that into you! Ladies take note! I thought i was ready to step back into dating but now i’m not sure! And then i get booty called by the rugby player hetero dude. Not it a bad way but casual sex doesn’t do it for me all the time. No. Meaningless sex makes me feel low and like a tool. I’m different okay? And then i ran into that dumbass (formerly known as superman) yesterday i wasn’t looking hot! Whoops. Nairobi’s small! Crowded even. Just a very quick hi and i continued walking. My smartphone has effectively died. It’s actually in my (very torn by the by) bag. I’ve not switched it on. Oh wait, it wont! Even after a bloody charge! Thank you big brother for giving me something that was going to die. Great. Manual email and zero keyboard make cuppatea a very disabled communicator! In the midst of all this stess, there was one hilarious moment. Classic 105, a local radio station has this hostess called Ciku (Shee-koh) and she busts cheating couples upon request from suspicious spouse. She played the wife of the husband who had AIDS. See, this guy wanted to see if his wife was cheating on him right, so he’d be listening in the background. SO at first this woman denied, then when she was told how the husband infected the wife with AIDS, she’s just being a good Christian by warning her etc etc, this woman broke out in shock and was “oh my God, oh my God” like 20 times! On national radio! Then she was asked if they were using protection and she was like “noooooo oh my God…” Then when the wife was like “talk to my friend, he’s a doctor”, really, that was the husband! OH MY GOD! He was so upset poor man.

Finally, a great column by a dear friend. Domestic violence in the Kenyan Gay society is what it discusses. It’s quite funny in my opinion. Peruse yourselves in this here. What would i do if i were beaten? I’ll do a post shortly.

And i continue with living. Life for living! Alright fine, that’s a Dido Album. But you get my point…

Just Because.


Because all this happens to me so many times I just decided to write about it! Enjoy.

Because you look at the ground when I approach the vehicle. Is that shame or embarrassment? Look at you, the Matatu conductor. I’ve seen you looking at me when you think i ‘m not looking! Because you won’t dare strike up a conversation with me because “that guy” from “that campus” is gay. Or so they say. The only thing you’ll ask for is my fare. I can see the word GAY written all over you. From your oversized plastic “diamond” ear stud to those skinny jeans. You want to do things to me but you can’t. And you won’t. The glances will do just fine for you. I don’t blame you though, your upbringing and your “colleagues” would mock you for coming out isn’t it? “Don’t ask, Don’t tell”. But stare all you want when you think I’m not looking. I notice you noticing me! Good for you. Because that’s all you’ll probably do when you come across “people like me”.

Because the whole campus “suspects” I’m gay, you’re afraid to talk to me. You’ve heard stories that are so ridiculous yet they instill fear in you. Yes you the very gay but very shy and very stupid university student! You’ve heard that “talking to one makes you one” and that “it’s addictive when you start being “a gay””. First of all congratulations on your pathetic command of English! I don’t blame you. It’s the way you were taught in school isn’t it? Because they said “English came from abroad.” You literally paint naked pictures of me in that head of yours, yet when I greet you ever so politely you paint a look of utter disgust and brush me off---in front of your classmates. You think it’s cool, right? It makes you look good in front of your classmates. So you think. It doesn’t. It makes you look childish. What a shame. Shall I add my own stupid myth about being gay? “We’ll eat your children!” This is 2010 not 1910. Grow the fuck up and deal with your issues…Because wearing skinny jeans and a pink sweater with a fake Louis Vuitton messenger bag with fake Chinese converse shoes doesn’t point you out as gay. Yeah, right! You ain’t fooling Me. No way.

Because you’re shallow. You woman in those Moi avenue yellow and black clothes. With fishnet stockings that make you look like a prostitute. It’s the truth, they do. Sin awful colours by the way. How dare you look down on me? let me guess, “we’ll steal your boyfriends” right? Please. You went to church in that postage stamp sized garment you call a skirt, heard a sermon from a clouded and misguided pastor and decided, among with he and many other shallow minded people, that gay people steal women’s boyfriends, wreck homes and worship the devil. That’s so cliché. lets make a movie out of it even! That’s what they want you to hear. My dear, your boyfriend is either a closeted gay man using you to conform with society or is bisexual, he also likes men. Get over it. And please, that cow print bag is unbelievably tacky. Because you’re tacky as well isn’t it?

Because you’re hot. Or so you think. Yes you know yourself, every gay guy is out to get you. You have to make it known that you’re attractive, looking down on the ones with lesser looks who don’t command fashion like you do. Guess what? They’re humans like just like you! You might have an image of a big spender but you don’t fool me, I know you’re middle class. I know starve yourself to get these fancy things that boost your looks. Please, buy a meal. A full one. And finish it. And make a good friend. Because one day soon every other gay guy will focus on “fresh meat”, new to the scene young people, which will leave you thin. And alone. Because I’ve seen this. Focus on education and get that degree, not men old enough to be your grandfather who’ll give you AIDS but they won’t tell yo because they’re enticing you with money to get you more flashy accessories and trips to lavish hotels and restaurants, or ridiculously priced clothes. Because money’s not everything. If it’s to get far in the society, all the best. Because there’s other ways of doing that. It’s called hard work. The rewards will be better.


Just, because.


Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »

Can we PLEASE stop environmental degradation so that we have clean water to drink? 90someting percent of the earth’s water is salt water! We can only drink like 4% which is fresh water. It’s sad to see firemen in New York letting loose thousands of litres of water from a fire hydrant for children to play with on a hot summer day When here in Africa people have to trek miles to get water, which is really contaminated, to drink and feed their livestock! RUDE! Even here in Nairobi, I see burst water pipes spewing out litre upon litre of clean drinking water when people in the north east are in dire need of water! So really, be conscious about how you use water. Think. Someone on this planet doesn’t have easy access to water. People can spend millions on extravagant Yachts when the same can be used to employ thermal satellites to discover underground lakes and rivers and employ that resource! Sigh.
Water is life. Save it to save us. Blog action day 2010. Sign the petition and save someone!!! (even if that petition has such a cliché picture but yes that’s what people like to see about Africa)

Itzy busy!


I’ve been busy this week! My fakebook and twirra (Twitter Kenyanized—damn hilarious!) activity has been rather low!

So with university I’ve had random presentations to prepare, assignments to do and notes to read. And programming to do. Really, do Managers of this day and age really program on MS outlook? I cannot for the love of booze get my damned macro to run in the frigging tables section, and then with such a basic language like Visual Basic not even giving me an objects window to shut down tables…. Okay I shan’t bore you with my schoolwork blah blahs… But you get my drift. Don’t get me started with Advanced economics, I’m preeeeeeeeeetty sure I’d have found the damned alphabet by the time I finish university! SO yes, the cell phone could not be used. I’ve been helping out with club meetings and the like and it’s rude to whip out a phone and update “omg this guy’s so scared of me he thinks I’ll eat him LOL”. NO I didn’t update. I wanted to though!

And theeeen, At home, things have just been so tiresome, with people biting each others heads off and snapping at each other for lord knows what, I get tired of this! I just come home, cook sometimes and just go relax in my room. Ah the peace of my bedroom… Speaking of cook, Thursday I went to see a friend at a local (fine a slightly trendy one), and I’d been thinking of beer all day! I got home, changed my shirt and went! To catch up with this man means a lot of talk. So kukamata moja na rafiki (catch one with a friend) became a few beers and laughter! I got home mildly tipsy and cooked! Why does my food always taste better when I cook in such a state. Yes reader from Israel it seems I drink a lot LOL! I’ll stop one day. When all my organs stop.


Today I woke up at 9.15am for a 10.30 class. I usually wake up at 5.30am to make tea and stuff, which I did, then I “dozed off for an hour” which became 4 hours. Oh my! I didn’t even have breakfast, I RAN! luckily I made it to class on time and it was a double and it had univariate deviation ninis which left me with BLANK LOOK! I’m going to have to practice these… My girlfriend (no not in that sense. Sorry…NOT! =D) wanted me to meet her for coffee and I was running late again, the matatus and buses were all full! Just when I was about to call to say imma be late, my friends roll by in a scoobie (subaru), a bloody new one.. COOL! I got a ride to a much easier place. Which friends were these? That cute couple from that drunken Thirsty Thursday in June. Yeah lately I’ve been running into them loooooooots! At java, at the junction, in traffic etc. They give me hope that proper hetero couples exist! And they’re so cute together… Envy! In the bus there’s a lady arguing on the phone. Loudly. You didn’t even need to understand her language to tell that she was talking to a man about her whereabouts… oh dear. Get off the bus and ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuun to java! Here I meet my girlfriend. Yes I have many! Lately I’ve been connecting more with women innit? We chat and in the process gets me into stitches! we walk around the city. I was expecting a call that afternoon from a guy who wanted to meet me for a date, So I sent a text to confirm. Silence. IT delivered and shit but no response. And he said he’d call me when we talked the previous night. Silence. I would not call. I will not go looking for you when you wanna meet me. No. I don’t work that way. You want to see me you’ll communicate with me. You can pick up a bloody phone, find my contact, and press the green button to call! “A man knows how to use a phone. Stop texting/calling. IF he doesn’t call/text you when he has to he’s just not that into you.” Memorable quote from that “he’s just not that into you” book. Ladies and gentemen even as I write this there’s still been no word. How terribly rude! I got stood up.

I get an inbox from a bloke I’ve been talking to, he’s around in the city. In the months I’ve been chatting with him he’s only ever met me twice, when I was stressed when T was ill and when I was uber drunk at that party! SO girlfriend and I meet him, she leaves later, leaving me alone with him. Also a former rugby player. Yaey. We talked for a good 3 hours! Even walked me to my bus stop. Where we meet Chubaka. Oh joy! No questions were asked, we bid each other goodbye and my brother and I went home.

What a week!

|Mi Plan-Nelly Furtardo & Alex Cuba|

Cultured: Stupid cookies, concerts & poetry

I had a very cultured weekend...And no i'm not promoting it! (you'll just read)

It started with Friday! Now, remember that nice man who helped me at the conservatoire? Well i bumped into him last Sunday at the city and i was in a rush (again, i was with Thatcher) And i told him i'd inbox him.
Which i did.
And we got talking... He's a nice guy. Somehow we talked about blah blah blah and landed on "when i see you next" which became "which is when?" which then became Friday evening! I don't know if that was a date or a meeting or just hanging out! We me at Alliance Francaise. Guess what? he even paid for my ticket! The concert was one cfc-stanbic quattro fusion, with artists from South Africa. Whom i'd never heard of btw. But one plays the violin really well, another can work the piano like magic, one beats those drums like a heart beats naturally and finally, the elegant musician who can really sing!
This guy, He's Tall. He's 3 weeks younger than me (i'm not a cougar!) but is incredibly mature! He loves classical music. So far, he's actually the only person i know who classes it according to periods! This made the concert even more fun. He's athletic in terms of body build. He's actually a looker! And he knows a number of my friends. But he's abit.... gay. Well he's very open and his bum sways when he walks (Don't ask me why i was looking!) But he is nice. The concert ended with the late Miriam Makeba's "pata pata" song being played which we danced to! Which we didn't care if people were looking. All i know is, i had fun! He walked me to my bus stop after the concert which i thought was nice... Looks like there are indeed some gentlemen left in the city...

I spent my whole days indoors just lounging, i didn't have anywhere to go during the day. Gothic M invited me to watch a musical with him. Legend of the rain queen was it's title. Miss j, girl k, he and myself along with his other friend would be attending it. Now, in the car on the way there he was handing out cookies! YUMMY! Except these weren't ordinary cookies, not after i tasted a good chunk of a cream filled one. Ladies and gentlemen, these were Dutch cookies A.K.A Weed cookies! And not the light kind!!!! OH NO!!! And i had two. Yeah.
Weed cookies taste good but those effects later...NOT COOL!
The musical was at Brookhouse school. This is where all upper middle and the loaded Kenyans take their children. As in White people are a minority here. This is also my old high school's rival! (we beat them almost every time at hockey!) Anyway, the musical was quite nice! The pupils from that school can really act. There was this scene that involved running, right, and whilst they were running, i swear i saw one of them leaving shimmers behind! I blinked. No, just my imagination.
The musical finished and it was time to go home! But i was feeling weird... You know those heat waves you see rising on a hot day? Yeah i could see these! AT NIGHT! SHIT! You know i thought what people said about those cookies were fake, um, yeah, they were right. As much as i was trying to convince myself that i wasn't feeling jack, i could feel alot! We got into the car and went. Clearly it was affecting girl k and gothic one too...
I got home, looked for dinner and ate. Thatcher was still awake. We chatted (i can't remember about what) Then when i was bidding her goodnight, those damn cookies checked in again!
"cuppatea please switch off the lights on your way out?"
Okay mum. I look around on the floor.
"the light switch is on the wall cuppatea."
Oh! I know that but i'm totally looking for your mosquito killer thingie! That was clearly a lie! As quickly as i vanished into hallucination i came back! Shit Thatcher knew something's up with me! I had to get myself into the bedroom. I needed to sleep! What's not happening here?
I get into the room and the frigging walls are MELTING! Yeah it was time for bed. Where is the bed? I looked i couldn't find it! Then i saw it, snapped back to normal. Whoops, no i wasn't normal! The bed was jumping!!! I jumped into it!
"cuppatea are you okay?" asks Thatcher from the next room.
"Ummm i hit my head on the beds board, i mean, headboard, nooo that nini that's behind my head on the bed!" i say. Yeah we are clearly high. No reply from her.
So i started to drift off. Then a cruise ship sailed into my room! With a captain handing out a tire attached to a rope! This captain looked like superman. Shit! But i swam to it!
Wait, no i didn't, i was swimming IN MY BED WHAT THE HELL!!! I had to hold on to my pillow. I had other strange hallucinations which i shan't mention, the above say enough!
The moral of Saturday night? DONT EAT WEED COOKIES! BAD! VERY BAD! It's even amazing that i remember these hallucinations! Wait, why is weed illegal and its safer than tobacco? I mean if it's legalized less people will get addicted to it because it won't be cool anymore and it'll have lost it's "thrill" of being illegal. Riiiiiiight?
*N.B that was not me who said that! ask all the various ganja raggae musicians. Sean Paul included.

I had a reeeeeeeeally runny stomach! This is my body's way of saying "don't give me shit randomly". I felt bleeeeh. I had moods! That day i was totally bipolar on everyone! And i had open mic to attend in Lavington. It went well, it went on till 7pm which is a first! Excellent performances were done! By evening i was almost back to normal though i was hungry and tired! Luckily the whole day i had a friend who was almost always with me, she laaaaaaaaughed when she heard my story! Anyway, I was scared of eating lest my stomach decided to hit the eject button again...I got home and ATE! I was so full, i went to sleep with my fingers crossed so that i didn't have to go to see a man about a kangaroo at funny hours of the night...

School and a cold! I went to see madam nurse again. She said i should stop listening to friends about letting a body fight a flu on its own! "if its not gone after three days you start taking meds!" she lectured me. So now i'm on these awful antibiotics AGAIN! Yuck! This is where pink's song "just like a pill" plays. Maybe my week won't be too bad. By the by the concert dude has asked me if i want to go for another one! OMG!

|where i can run just as fast as i can
to the middle of nowhere
to the middle of my frustrated fears and i swear
ur just like a pill stead of makin me better ur makin me ill
u keep makin me ill------------------>Pink- Just like a pill|

My rainy day


I love the rain. It's got powers to destroy, cleanse and regenerate...

Today i went around the city after my morning class ended. I have the reset of the day free and i had absolutely no inspiration to stay in campus and read! So i dialled a few numbers, to see who was free. I ended up having a coffee meet with a friend i've not seen in a while and lunch with M and small P.
It was quite sunny when i left campus! I love the sun as well. I noticed the wind was abit cooler than usual but i didn't think much of it...Just swirly winds that pick up fallen bougainvilleas and some dust making little tornado shaped twister winds... The sky was light blue with cotton like clouds that seemed so nice and fluffy!
The junction is an upmarket mall with many trendy shops inside it! Here, i'd be meeting tall I. I've not seen him in quite a while. Before that he did call to say he'll be abit late, so i ought to walk around. In doing so, i stumbled upon a sale at this "cheap" clothes shop called Mr. Price. They had a 40% off sale on some stuff! Oooooo.... I saw some lovely shorts that would go well with my shirts! They cost me alot less than a 1000 bob! I was very pleased!

And theeeen, i'm looking for a camera. Oh yes, drunk texting Churchill was an awesome action =) I didn't ask for much though. I'm a "reasonable son" like that. So Dixons have a sale on compact cameras. They have some preeeeety good deals! Panasonic cameras are quite good, infact i believe better than some Sony models of the same class. 12 megapixel camera for 10k in pink! RUN! Anyhoo, those are not my kind of cameras. I'm looking for a semi professional point and shoot. Like a DSLR but not a DSLR.
So i met him and we chatted. He and i are so alike in so many ways but he's yang and i'm yin. Only our values are different. And taste in guys. I have discovered a very sugary frosty from java bwahaha! After a good hour, we left. OH, I met my friends, a hetero couple, having lunch. Yes the boyfriend still looks at me funny. Whether interested, curious in me or just confused as to why this touristy person is greeting his girlfriend, i don't know why he always sneaks glances at me! It's funny what you can see from the corner of your eye.
I left that mall to walk down and up a hill that connects divisions. I needed to take a matatu from Lavignton to get to Westlands, where i'd meet M. The blue matatu was rickety with peeling paint and "clown seats". Clown seats are those ones who's bolts are loose so the chair moves backwards when accelerating and forward when braking. And shaking when on idle. And it seemed to be rocket powered because as soon as i entered WHOOOOOOSH!!!! I was holding on to the seat for dear life! Even the cucu (granny) behind me was like "Mwathani..."! I long for the day i own my ve
In Westlands at the Sarit centre mall. I met M and Small P. Seeing small p was a surprise! I didn't know he'd come! I like surprises of the postive kind. We mauraded the mall going to various camera shops but they don't have what i'm looking for. The ones they had that i want go for 60,000. I'll have to resort to the internet then. There is one that i found but so many things are missing from its box i just let it go. I need things like it's charger and cable!

Off to Westgate mall for lunch! It was like a belated birthday lunch... We had some very delicious Thai food! I had noodles with some chilly stir fry beef and vegetables that was quite filling!
Afterwards, we went to look at books. Had i had a debitcard with money in it i'd have some rib cracking ones about a shopaholic!
As we were leaving, we were curious as to why it was so dark so early. Looking up you're seeing thunderous clouds! This meant we needed to walk quickly! Unfortunately, it started drizzling before we reached the bus stop! We all parted ways quickly. We're all in different campuses. As i get into the bus, the heavily pregnant grey-black clouds couldn't contain themselves anymore.

And rain fell.

I love the smell of rain! But not that of a stuffy bus! The driver veered off the highway into some narrow B-roads that promptly led us to another traffic jam! That didn't move. AT ALL! 45 minutes later this guy got off the bus and walked. The had receeded. And i walked, from the law school to the city's railway station bus stop. During my walk, the heavens burst again. To protect my headphones, i wrapped a scarf around my head. Yes it looked like the top part of a Hijab. I didn't care. I can't find these headphones anywhere and they sound good! Climbing the hill that leads to the museum i couldn't help but sing Freshly Ground's "I'd like" out loud! No one cares. At the Norfolk, The Jacaranda trees' flowers falling down. My world seemed to slow. Rain falling slowly, long silver droplets hitting each flower gently, making them fall down with the wind...Elegant.

Finally i reached the bus stop and hopped into a matatu. I was wet. My shoes were soaked. The passenger moved away from me. Yes, you in the cheap Italian suit flossing your E72 to your girlfriend, a little water didn't hurt nobody! The ride home was uneventful. I got home just fine. Showered and ate. Did some school work... It was a nice day! I always say rains are a blessing...


HBD me: Saturday aka Satoooooh! =)

Fuck my head hurts! The room is spinning and i can't stand properly! I'm seeing hazy vision.
I woke up drunk on Saturday morning! WOOOOOH!!! =D It was like 9am. Which meant i didn't sleep long. Whoops!
I woke up to find Thatcher leaving and Blondie getting dressed to go lord knows where...
The house became empty... I needed tea! Ginger tea. I'd been coughing abit during the week so that's what i've been on.
Switching on the phone, it rings! And text messages flood. Yeeees this is what birthdays are all about... I took a nap after all that! I had to go meet small p for lunch. M's not around this year but i totally understand why. I woke up, showered and went! There's a random bruise on my shoulder and i don't know how i got it! Lordy... I still looked hammered though! Epic hangover my goodness!
In the city!
We went to Java. We caught up as i narrated the previous night's experience. In the city, i would meet up with A, spec D, Fabulous N and S, and a whoooooooole host of other people! It was interesting! The orange juice i drank had did things with the beer in my belly which triggered something like hyperactivity and tipsyness at the same time! Sir j came and we went to a nice restaurant, where A and diplomatic one joined us. Now, here more beer came! And tequila! When combined it becomes Beerquila! LETHAL! Don't mix the two unless you know what you're doing!
There's this famous line that goes "one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR!!" apply that here but in terms of highness LOL! Small p got high as well. This is the first time, physically, i've seen him get high! Some of A's friends came. I've never met them before. We went to this pub called Rafikiz. It's quite nice except it's small and packed like changes! Meh.
Oh, secretly in the midsts of all this i was praying that my classmate's cousin would call! He didn't so that chapter's like totally closed lol!
We didn't even stay long there! We went shopping. To get beer and stuff because we were heading back to A and T's place. Not hometime yet. But i was hiiiiiiiiiiigh and one of A's friends was trying to ingisha me box! I can't even remember what he looks like! Beers and tequilas do that right.... Over there, we just chatted as i watched small p get even more high! I was starting to black out again. Sleeping for 3 hours only really takes a toil on one's body after the rave! Gah...
I was so happy inside though!!! I spent time with all my good friends and we had a great time! Really, that's one of the greatest gifts ever, friendship.

Speaking of gifts, the funniest thing! I drunk texted Churchill a clean text that was sooooo kiddish! =D Ummmm, lets just say i'm getting something cool soon! Yaey me! How did i drunk text him? My classmate was like "you deserve a cool gift this year!" VOILA! hihi....

So i was dropped like at 2am! I had to check that Chubaka and Blondie were home, so that they don't get locked out. Sigh... I got into bed and once again....


I woke up. Hangover again but not bad like the previous day! Tralalalala....listening to music. Sleep. And theeen, i see Thatcher, Blondie and Chubaka looking at me. A card and a present! I got a book voucher yaaaaey!! =) I'm still deciding which one to get....
I spent most of the morning saying thanks to all the wishes i got on my fakebook wall... For once i didn't drunk tweet! The whole weekend! But i drunk dialled some people hihi... I'm behaving with the phone when intoxicated though!
Thatcher decides me and her are going to her friend's baby's first birthday party! Woooi.... I like children but only when they're calm! Monsters... We went. Really, these baby parties are merely excuses for their parents to drink even more! "I'm not touching booze today mam." i say. Yeah really, i've seen enough beer this weekend!!! It was boooooring! Except this mama who's like "oh you know i have work tomorrow so i'm not drinking." 10 minutes later she's produced a bottle of vodka and is mixing it in her beer! OMG! Uleviness the end! We went home afterwards.

Now i'm here on my bed nini-ing this post juuuuuust for you! Feel the love.
My name is cuppatea and i'm 21 years old... Thank you!

HBD me: Friday aka Furahiday =D

What a weekend!!!

It was my birthday Saturday! =) Yezzir! I turned 21! I'm oooooold! I'm supposedly "legal" now. Unless those MPs decide to raise it to 24 because of their irresponsible children who steal their Mercedes Benzes and wreck them (AGAIN!!! They never learn LOL!). Anyway, it was fun! It wasn't like last year! It's two posts. Kuna vile i'd bore you with one looong ass post! Besides, it makes it more, um, ah just read!!! =)

Met up with my classmates! Yes, this is the first time i was going to rave with my classmates! I'm not anti-social, i just see them enough during the day now imagine at night... Anyhoo, i got roped into their plans for Friday! I had like 200 bob on me. I knooooooow, brokeness the end BUT it would get me booze seeing as the ride home was sorted. Yeah those people thought for me lol! Yezzir, i met them up in Karen at a random sports pub that has cheap beer and good roast meat! Out of planned 9 people, only 4 of us turned up. But one of them came with his friends from another uni so we're fine. Mode of transport? A Subaru Forester. Impressive... We had like 4 beers there! One round was free actually, some baba watoto was impressed with my girl classmate and he even gave her his number on a serviette. Priceless!!! By the by, ONLY IN KENYAN BARS DO THEY PAUSE MUSIC TO AIR THE NEWS ON TELLY!!! And patrons take it seriously! LOL!
We went to another place, the double inn, which was sooo empty! We "about turned" and headed to another pub that had a pool table, cool seats and awesome prices, Redcube. Nice bar! Here we chatted, had more drinks, and made merry! They even played dance music which got me dancing videadly sana! (start getting used to local dialect because i've had a few readers accuse me of not being Kenyan =D)
Midnight came! My birthday! As i'm bought for more beer hihi! What a way to usher in proper adulthood! They nearly sung the agikuyu version of happy birthday song for me! I was like " aaaaaw heeelll no, just bring the booze lol".
Around 1am, we went to the city centre. Now these being heterosexual people they'd go to a raaaandom club! Moi avenue. Jazz. OMG! Oh by the by the designate driver was HOT!!! Oh gosh! I'm attracted to the most random people! He's tall with a barrel chest and a good sense of humor! Except they talked swahili which i'm just awful at which i'm teaching myself properly by watching Kenyan music vids and listening to local music! True story. ANYWAY at jazz we danced and drank more! Get down by Madtraxx played! I danced and did Ka-chinesey! UNASHAMEDLY! Just so you know the way i behave around my gay friends is how i behave around heterosexuals. (be yourself it works!) At this club, we met my classmates cousin. He's my height, light skinned, abit fat and verrrrrrry cute! I didn't think too much of him at the time (oh oh, where is this going, you ask? SOMA!)
One classmate was drunk and trying to ingisha this girl kwa box (get laid by methods of flirtations and kisses-gag) he ran off at one point and my other classmate and i had to go get him. On the streets. At 4am. Really? All this time i wasn't even high! 6 Tuskers and i was still standing, dancing, chatting etc. Certified drunk! We get into the ride and head off to westlands. There is ALWAYS traffic here at the end or beginning of the month! I wanted Havana, they wanted changes. As we were deciding where to vamos off to, this hawker with boiled eggs and kachumbari (a spicy salad). Didn't my classmates attack him lol! They even got a discount! I can't eat eggs. I will get the worst stomach cramps and il break out in allergies! My classmates cousin noticed this.
"Mbona haukuli?" he asked.
"I can't eat eggs, i'll be quite ill" i said.
"pole sana...."
"it's okay, i'm not that hungry anyway..."
"are you always this nice and adorable to random people?" i asked. (the beers have started to check into my head lol)
He smiiiiled! Oh yes....
So we head into where? Redtape! I KNOW!!! The bouncers were being bitches! I got in with the guys cousin! The rest were partially frozen ati because one dude i short and looks 16. They let him in after we "elewanad" That means, for you my foreign readers, that we had to bribe the bouncer with "pesa ya cigara". (cigarette money). OH, i was given a Cuban cigar to puff! I broke my period of not smoking for like a year and months with a Cuban cigar! Shit! I feel abit yucky knowing i broke something i really had a tough time stopping.... But it was good! Smoking it singed my nose hairs. (ooowie the first puff set my nose ablaze LOL!) Back to the club, we entered. High me thought we were in another club called Black Diamond a.k.a BD alia Black dee. The cute one told me we weren't. Whoops! I knew i was high... The music was fantastic! Old school Kenyan hits like Namless's Deadly and E-sir's boomba train as well as new hits like get down again! I danced! This cute fellow now, was looking at me dancing. With a grin on his face. I thought he was grinning at me coz i dance like a white man right.....
He wasn't.
WHAT! When i sat, i had what was going to be my last beer of the night, 9th tusker. We talked abit more... The others were chatting and or dancing. The time was now 5.15am. And the club's still kicking! Party animals. I started to black out. He woke me up by touching my chin repeatedly. Not shaking me, not poking me, touching my chin!!! I was quite amused! I danced on the chair. He was smiling. "you look like you need my number" i said. He gave me his phone. I KNOW!!! He had to go check on someone, so he left me with it. Oh, he was high too and he was looking sleepy. aaaawww poor guy. I put down my number in the notes section of his white sony ericsson (it deserves a mention because white W810s are uber rare!). You know what i wrote?
"When you get bored of women, do call me. 072xxxxxxx Cuppatea".
I kid you not! What the hell was i thinking!!!! SLAP ME NOW!
I did something even worse! What's worse than that you ask?
I went into his messages. I don't even know how i landed there buuuuut there were very few texts from girls and many from one guy. Who ends them with the word "swiry".
Then he came back!!!!
I quit quickly and gave him back the phone with a VERY big smile on me face!
"when you wake up, go to the notes section ok?"
He nodded. (there you go, look what i did!)

We walked out. I was staggering LOL! Not only did he cross the road with me but he made sure i didn't fall on stairs! How nice. In the ride home we were all quiet. We dropped him off at the uni where he learns, the hostels, then we went home.
"dude what's your cousins name?"
I was told.
"oh. He's cool..."
I think they knooooow something's up!
I got home at like 6.15am! Dropped off at the main gate.
"Leo nimechelewa sana" (i'm very late today) i told the watchman. Before i left the house i'd made my bed in such a way that a potentially drunk me strips and just rolls into it. Which is exactly what i did! I got my teddy bear first though...
What a night!


|Just Dance-Lady GaGa|

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