At years' end: 2010


Greetings from a sunny Kenyan coast! :-) i'm trying not to admire my neighbour's range rover. It's a red sport. Mmmmh... Anyhoo...

Another year has come to an end. I shan't bore you with nostalgia from the year's experiences, there's all my older posts to read for that. I will however, say this! I'M GLAD TO BE ALIVE!!! :-) you should too!

Life is for living, always remember that.

Free world-Ace of Base

My Favourite Albums of 2010


It won me over hands down! It’s got such wonderful songs inside like Nothing, science and faith, for the first time… Itunes says i’ve played this the most. Because damn this is an EXCELLENT work of art! The way they sing, how the songs are composed, the instruments, the stories behind the songs! They deserve to be successful!


'”I’ll leave the door on the latch if you ever come back if you come back, There’ll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat if you ever come back, if you ever come back…”

CovIt was closely followed by Hands all over by Maroon 5.

This album had me dancing and understanding songs like How and Runaway. They never disappoint!




00_Nelly_Furtado_-_Mi_Plan-WEB-2009-Cover-csmMi Plan by Nelly Furtardo! FUERTE!!!! =D This was my favourite foreign language album of the year!! Fuerte and Mi plan are really fun to dance to! Totally! It’s in Spanish and Portugese and she sings alot with a latino man called Alex Cuba! mas is also really cool…





frontHappiness By Hurts. Is there anything like a sad album that’s positive? These guys have such artistic music videos! And the album is wonderful to listen to at low or high volumes! They kinda remind me of Depeche Mode. That intensity of sadness is just unbelievable. Unspoken and stay were the two most played songs.




2011 looks promising with GaGa and Britney releasing their albums! Excited? HELL YEAH! =)

Cinematic Christmas


Did you have a good Christmas? Mine certainly went well! Most of you will call it boring though.

the 24th saw me go out! It was fun spending time with fabulous m, A and gothic one. Guess what i did? i sang karaoke with gothic one! In front of Blondies significant other. He doesn’t know i’m queer. Yet. Mhaha! Gothic one and i bawled out "Teenage Dirtbag”  very tipsily and loudly! We’d had a few beers. tihihi? A very lovely lady was with us that evening as well! She actually encouraged us to sing. So we did. Later on, A and i went to a mutual friends home, where he’d invited us for dinner. And a horror film. I tried that kill me quick drink of raspberry vodka and tonic water! I put too much vodka inside it. The result? Intoxication! There was a delicious dinner that had been made too! I wi had to share this! =)as very happy. As i got home at 3am, the watchmen of my estate wished me a Merry Christmas! “Merry Christmas to yooooooouuuuuu” i said! “do you need help finding your home?” One watchman asked. “noooooo niko sawa asante!” i replied. That means no thank you i’m fine fyi. I found my bed and slept.

The next day, I was indoors with Thatcher and two of my sisters. Chubaka went to my cousins place for Christmas, leaving me with a house of women! The 25th was a very quiet one. We had Chicken Tikka for dinner made by blondie. Lunch was those Massive sub sandwiches from Uchumi. I’d have thought the roads were empty. SHOCK! There were so many vehicles that there was a traffic jam on the road! Where were you lot going? Anyhoo, i had got a few cans of beer (sue me Thabo =P) for my enjoyment for films later! I’ve been getting old films that i’ve been wanting to watch. I ended up watching a film i’d last seen when i was 5 years old waaaay back in in the 90’s. An animated one! The beauty and the Beast was one magical film… It makes so much sense now that i’m older =) I certainly enjoyed watching yet another fairy-tale film that night…

And so good was the sleep that had followed after. Beer makes such a delightful nightcap! Boxing day. Since i didn’t get any gifts i wouldn’t be unboxing any. I did watch yet another film, animated superman vs batman! Nice thing to wake up to. As my day progressed, not much went on. I re-read a novel, Nights of Rain and Stars By Maeve Binchy. Again. Yes it’s quite a lovely book! It’s just a wonderful read really. On this night, I watched a film i’ve been looking for all my years but never found! I shan’t say where i got it =P. This film was the winner of of 10 academy awards in its year! It was if not, the best written film of that period! It had dashing actors and actresses! It was just so amazing! You guessed well, cuppatea ended up watching Gone with the Wind last night! All 4 hours of it! Why on earth aren’t modern day films well written like this? Scarlet O'Hara was just an amazing lady! Foolish, but amazing! Oh the tragedies in her life… The men that came and went, Her family, Her sister in-law Melanie… It simply had me engrossed in it! I started the film at 10.30pm, know what time it ended? almost 3am! Two beers and four hours later i can safely say that it was one of the best films i’ve ever watched!

Today i will watch either Out of Africa or Breakfast at Tiffanys’. Aside doing a number of chores today, i’ve spent my day reading the Irish novel. I’m almost done with it. Unlike most people who’re on holiday at the coast (meeting their friends from here in Nairobi) i’d rather be home. Spending Christmas at home with family is how i’ve been brought up. It would feel so weird if i went away during this time.

And that, my dear audience, is how i spent Christmas this year! I hope yours was certainly a more memorable one!


That’s the way it is-Celine Dion

Seasons’ Greetings!


Dear Santa,

If you lost weight, you’d end up looking the hottie above! =D

Merry Christmas my dear audience!

Make merry this festive season and do have a blast!



A dreamer



When most people are watching random films like inception, one certain cuppatea watches fairy tale movies! If you want to keep me smiling for 90 minutes continuously, please, by all means put an animated film. Last night, i watched The Princess And The Frog. I know, it’s a film that was released last year, i’m not into watching films spot on. Anyhoo, it’s set in 1920s new Orleans and the story is absolutely captivating! It’s got happy and sad moments as well as unexpected ones. It’s a great film really, where true love wins in the end! Quite magical indeed.

It's films like these that get me dreaming of my own fairy-tale happy ever after. I must be kissing all the wrong frogs though LOL!

Dreamer-Stella Mwangi

my weekend in points


To summarize my weekend:

  • How dare the government try to make us go home at 11pm? closing off alcohol sections in the supermarket at 8.30pm? To the point bouncers were appointed at a certain branch. Mend the bill legislators, Kenyans are party people! That bill need rectifications in certain areas.
  • Infact shame on EABL/Diageo/Keroche/KWAL for not speaking out loud enough to have the bill ammended before it was passed. I foresee lower profits being made this festive season.
  • DADT repealed. J.I Joes can now be queens in peace. I think.
  • I don’t like cider.
  • My friends are stranded in Europe because of snow and ice. Damn…
  • Apparently people judge each other based on what devices they use. I will buy a 3310 and see what you’ll have to say about that! cow.
  • Though sweet, strawberry flavoured shisha is very lethal, 21 puffs certified that claim. i don’t want to see another bong ‘till next year!
  • The term “freeze and shine” is one falsified one! I cannot shine when i’m freezing because my nose runs and i shiver. I’ll carry a jumper next time i’m out on a clear night.
  • Some men in this town need to be taught manners, gate crashing and taking over our table to the point where i’m ditched by my original company IS NOT COOL! Just because your my friend doesn’t mean you come and sit with me uninvited and literally take over the place! I’m not pleased with this.
  • Just because you like someone doesn’t mean they like you back.
  • Women of this city know how to keep their beauty in check and age hidden! I really thought she was 22.
  • I can go to java on a Sunday in pyjamas. The look is called “i’m hangovered bitch, whatever.”
  • i’m a heartbreaker, the end.

islands-The XX

Your Typical Nairobi Gay Dating Scene


I’ve noted that relationships spur out of a very interesting process of dating that queer Nairobian Men have created. A very big majority actually! I don’t want to date like this!

They all seem to start dating after a shag, or make out session! Or 3 way lord knows. Whatever happened to going out on a a few dates FIRST, before jumping into bed with them? Do you mean to tell me that if i want to get to know you i have to sleep with you first? Some men from this city are just full of jokes! How on earth do queer Nairobi men go on dates, you ask?

The said process typically begins with meeting the date first. (Most guys call it meetings.) They probably met on facebook and talked before meeting. When meeting the person, they both judge each other----from a distance. If the person bears no resemblance to photos on the site, the following occurs: they quickly turn off their phone, and run! With excuses given later about abcd happening and that story dies right there!

However, if the persons do approve of each other from a distance, they will sit down and talk. However, judgement continues! If the person is dressed funny, it arouses suspicion. If the person is dressed funny, has a voice overburdened by his mother tongues tones (you know, the “reeeuurrrreee”, “but do i say” and “endache” type) then the person will proceed to the following: they quickly turn off their phone, and run! With excuses given later about abcd happening and that story dies right there!

IF, the date is dressed well but speaks with said tones, considerations can be made. Should they speak well and concisely AND look good then fine, the date can continue. After the date, sorry, meeting, they will agree to meet again. This time with hues off nice boxers and tones of sex. It’s usually “so when will you come visit me?”

To the visit then. The regular queer Nairobian will tidy up the house, possibly cook or have a take out meal ready. Date arrives. There’s usually something on telly on. They sit together. Eat. Talk. Laugh. Here, the smart host will have put something with an unexpected steamy scene. The said scene comes. Then either guest or host makes a move. Mild kissing becomes steamy make out session which leads to the question “wanna do it?”. Should the date agree, the scene quickly moves to the bedroom. Here, one of 3 things can occur!

  • The sex is really good and they conclude the date with going out to party or arranging for another “meeting” either at host’s or dates place.
  • The sex was really bad with only the top doing all the work. Can decide to “train” or maintain date for easy sex purposes.
  • The bottom is unimpressed by tops’ performance and decides this was the first and last time with date.

If point two and three occur, then the following occurs: they quickly turn off their phone, and run! With excuses given later about abcd happening and that story dies right there!

BUT, if the first point happened and they both like each others company, they will maintain a certain level until one of them asks “so are we an item dear?”. The following can happen:

  • If the top says “sure!” then voila! A couple has been born by having sex first!
  • If the top says “i like how we are now” then my dear bottom, RUUUUN! you’re a chips funga.
  • If the top says “i’m not ready for a relationship” you the bottom can decide to either find someone else while you use the guy for sex purposes or RUUUUN!
  • If the bottom says points two and three, you my dear top are being used as a sausage kamatwa!

Should points one two and three occur, the following will happen: they quickly turn off their phone, and run! With excuses given later about abcd happening and that story dies right there!

I almost forgot the drinking date. The drinking date occurs when both dates, alcoholics, meet up either in a pub, a club, or a restaurant! They drink, talk, drink some more, talk…and then one of them begins being “naughty” by placing hand on date’s thigh/lap, or even stroking dates legs with their leg. Some men tend to be indirect with their questions of intent, such as “oh you know it’s late, you stay far, why not sleep over at my place?”. Others will be more direct by asking “so, wanna go back to my place i make you scream?” If the date agrees, proceed to Bedroom scene, and the rest develops accordingly.

Naturally, some people know they’re using each other for sex, they’re called shag buddies. Sometimes shag buddies end up as couples too…Just make sure they’re not seeing someone else OR if they are, be very VERY discrete, though chances of that happening are uber slim in this small society of ours.

Of course, other people (like minded ones?) will do the traditional many dates before bedroom thing, in my honest opinion it allows you to know the person and get comfortable with them more ethically.

Which brings me back to my query, must majority of the men from this city behave like this? what if i don’t want to sleep with you at the first or second date? Could it be that i, cuppatea, am old fashioned Scarlett O'Hara style? Could it be that i’m scared? Could it be that my heart just tells me it’s wrong? Wait, it could be because i command morals and values? I’m pretty certain some other young men are asking themselves the same same thing.

Now i just wonder, to conform or not to conform? Because seriously if this is how people are finding happiness… Then again, i am different in a “different” society.

Peacock-Katy Perry

Coffee, my fix.


Cafe lattè. For the days when the world makes little sense and you feel thoroughly misunderstood and upset.

Power of love, love power-Luther Vandross

Hello my friend, goodbye my friend

It’s been one Long, LONG weekend!
I was meant to be indoors when Thatcher calls! She left her camera and she was heading for a night out with her friends. That translated to “bring my camera to my office”. Sigh. So much for being indoors ey? I thought to myself, “going to her office and coming back home? no way.” So i dialled F. F is bumming as well. The mood for shopping mysteriously appeared again! I met up with him in the city before we go to the mother market of all markets in Kenya, Gikomba! I admit i missed the place! WHOOOSH! A man with a massive bail nearly hits your head. KKKSSSSS!! A man with a pull cart nearly runs you over. Stall-keepers grabbing you like zombies and you smacking their hands with an apt “No”. We were heading to the bags section of the marketto find me a leather bag! And we did! Infact i got two! A big one for ferrying my lappie and books, and a slightly smaller one for everyday use. Both for a dirt cheap price! I mean, when i went shopping for an after-rave kit bag, some guy was tryna sell me a bag, leather, more expensive than the two i bought! HA! I got two BETTER ones at almost HALF the price! LOOSER! =P I then met up with small p and M for a late lunch. A Friday well spent!
On this day, gay mens thanksgiving would be happening at big p’s. Naturally, i had to look abit scandalous! A pink argyle tie, white shirt and piped khakis that are slim fitting would do the job! I was supposed to attend my lecturer’s wedding but whooooooops i missed it! I had no aptitude for a wedding that day. Anyhoo, the lunch/dinner party rocked! THE FOOD!!! I ate ALOT! I do not care, when good food is cooked and it’s cooked for guests, please, i will eat heartily! I went for second round even! “Where the hell does all that ood go cuppatea?” i was asked. Ummmmmm i don’t knooooow…. I walk alot lol! Then i attacked the Carbaret Sauvignon. My tongue enjoys it more than a Shiraz. Just making conversation really… Toasts were called for, then shots of Amaretto and then more wine! I deliberately avoided the lethal punch! And gin. Gin makes me wiiiiild!i did, however, try a few glasses of this “kill me quick” drink, made by a new friend i made, containing raspberry flavoured vodka mixed with tonic water! Delicious! But it made me SO HIGH! goodness! There’s a gap of time between dancing and more chatting that went by. I took a power nap for an hour, 3am. I found some guys gone. No ride home so i walked! Staggered is the correct term to use. Big p doesn’t live that far from me. The back gate of my estate was locked and the bloody askari (gateman) wouldn’t open after repeatedly knocking on that bloddy gate! I had to walk round, a kilometre, to the main gate.Tall Askari made my evening when i told him the other watchman wasn’t opening. Said the other guy’s a bum. So much for security. Staggered into bed, took an anti-histamine and blacked out!
Woke up with a minor headache. The pill and water reduced the severity! Got out of bed and started working on chores lest Thatcher got on my case… Afterwards, i got prepped to leave the house! My hetero best friend was having a Jamhuri day barbeque that day! I’d not seen him in a whiiiiiile! Met up with another friend and off we went to a suburb infested with embassies, scissor trimmed lawns and range rovers galore! It’s certainly fun to hangout with someone you’ve grown up with! Once more, i ATE! don’t give me that indignant look, we were told to eat to our hearts content! So we did =D i got back home later that evening round 8pm. Tired and sleep deprived. Had a long chat with Churchill. And then my bed called. I had to wake up really early for an event the next day.
Because we had a national holiday on a Sunday, Monday automatically becomes one! I was up at 5am. Why? I was going to escort and say goodbye to my friend for the last time. I get to the CBD at 6.20am. Early! F was on his way. God bless him for being my company! The bus was NOT a bright coloured as usually seen from that community. We left nealy at 8am, got to that town (about 40kms away from the city) at 10. We were picking him up from the mortuary. As the viewing of him lined up, the atmosphere was a very quiet one, minus the traditional music playing. THAT, was funny! An attendant had to rush to the hearse that was blaring it to silence it. And then i saw my friend lying there. Dead people are usually very shiny. Especially if you’re a dark skinned one! Sigh. He looked very peaceful. We begun the procession to his rural home where the church service would be. We leave the town and continue forward. up and down twisty hills and roads. And finally, we reached his home. A beautiful, green hilled place with super-fresh air! Bougainvillea and Jacaranda in bloom! The set up was wonderful! This looked like a wedding. Coordinated colours, seating areas… But, lunch was being served first before the service. This is very new to me, the funerals i attend usually have the person buried then lunch or tea is served. And then the service begun. Speeches! A funny pastor! This guy had the whole place laughing. Myself included with thanks to a translator. The whole atmosphere was generally bright. Even the choirs, who danced and sung with vigour did their part well! They even had a marching band for him! We sung and gave praise to God. It was a celebration of a life i tell you! A life so short but so accomplished! The speeches went on to around 4.30pm. Now i know why we ate. We then carried him to his home. the whole village was there. Packed! Now it was really time to tell him goodbye. We as friends waited for the family to do their thing then we laid beautiful roses around his grave. I looked into that ceramic tiled grave, amidst all the music and noise from everyone talking, my world was silent. In the last two years i’d known him i didn’t think i’d be saying bye to him that soon. In that beautiful grey casket, lay a good friend. I placed my red rose down. “i’ve brought you home, now rest well my friend, tutakutana”. i said. I smiled. We put him to rest in a small, but pretty mango and orange fruit orchard. It was 5.30pm, time to go home.
“Lets go home, i belive we’ve sent off our friend in style.” i told F. We caught a ride with two of our friends (oh thank heavens---wasn’t looking forward to the slow bus ride). the sun was setting and we were quiet in the car. Beautiful Sunset of crimson-orange with Lukenya hills looking down on us. I got home and slept.
It’s been a long post, but lemme leave you with this thought; Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and seen a future with them? No i’m not in pursuit, just a thought.
And Finally
Life is short. Everyday, we take for granted many things, friends, family, life itself. Cuppatea wants to tell you this, LIVE YOUR LIVES TO THE FULLEST! EVERYDAY! Appreciate what you have! I am the way i am because i embrace life, good or bad. You should too! Life is for living.
“And I sang with all my might
And she said;
"Tell me are you a Christian child?"
And I said "Ma'am I am tonight"
Walking in Memphis
I was walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale,
Walking in Memphis
But do I really feel the way I feel?”---------->
Bruce Springsteen- Walking in Memphis

after-rave kit (the cuppatea version)


Inspired by this post, i’m building upon it. i feel it could be more guy-like than divo!

i went shopping (with 100 bob, about 70pense or a dollar and a penny) for a little over night bag (known as an after –rave kit) yesterday.

This is something some fabulous queer men have! It’s totally inexpensive and it’s a neat way of keeping yourself organized. I went and got a really nice rustique leather one. dark brown, with scratches here and there, it’s an absolute gem! All it needs is a decent clean, some petroleum jelly and leave it out in the sun for the leather to absorb the oil and voila! looks like new! Mine looks like a giant clutch! But the important thing is that it fits in my bags.

Qualities of a good after-rave kit:

  • Compact- It shouldn’t be massive! It needs to be small, small enough to fit into another bag.
  • Quality- It shouldn’t be flimsy i.e not tear after a few months. It should be durable!
  • Cost- Please, it’s not supposed to be more expensive than the bag it’s being carried in! That’s just wrong.

What’s inside? Well, I’ve thrown in:

  • A toothbrush- You need this for the morning after! In my case i’d be waaay to hangover to  find a kiosk with flimsy toothbrushes, so i’ve packed my own. one my mouth is used to lol!
  • Toothpaste- Not everyone uses the same brand! I prefer Herbal toothpaste. It tastes better and cleans better. A small tube will do.
  • Wet wipes- Because you can’t carry a face-towel because you’ll stink up the bag! Wet wipes double up as face-towel. Just make sure it’s a neutral one i.e not scented. And smooth too! some brands are like scouring pads. Good for the hands as well.
  • Lotion- I’ve seen some small tubes of lotion from good brands like Nivea. They work. If that doesn’t help, drain the damn thing and put your own inside!
  • Deo-It’s optional. depending on the size of your bag it could work. If you’re a Ninja like me and you’re not heading home directly the morning after you might need this. Smelling like the Hulk is not sexy. If your deo’s too big, get a small cologne. People will get distracted by the smell of cologne than the smell of sweat.
  • Condoms- For horny couples. Safety first! That goes for heterosexuals too. You don’t want a lady knocking on your door with your child 9 months later! sometimes it “just happens”.
  • Lube- For everyone. This makes sex much more fun! sachet type lubes will do to save up on space.
  • Emergency Airtime- Even if it’s a bamba 50, it’s useful if you’ve got no idea where the shops are and your phone’s outta airtime. Drunk dialling is not free you know…
  • small comb- to keep your hair neat.

I’m more practical than the fabulous ones because i can wear the same pair of socks all weekend, so i omitted that. Sunglasses, well, i don’t care if i look hangover! Signs of a good night yes?  Of course, this is relatively subjective. I’ve just highlighted what’s in mine, please, feel free to thrown in whatever please you in your own after rave kit… Remember, it’s not to be walked into the rave with, hide it in your bag or leave it in the car!

Cleanliness is next to godliness! Yezzir…

For December


Praise be, i’m done with my semester!

In one hand is a cardamom flavoured mug of tea, and in the other is a black keyboard. I’ve NOT distanced myself from society during this exam period---again! Why? Random things keep coming up that require my attention. Some i couldn’t turn down because i was booked for a whiiiile… But anyway, i did my papers with all my abilities educationally! Including one that a lecturer had booby trapped---he structured the question in such a way that it asked for 3 topics but only one was the correct answer! Obnoxious man.

I’ve got weddings, funerals, dinners and meet ups to attend this festive month. I should also attempt to go for a concert or two, a play and retail therapy (read shopping), i desperately need a new bag. Or boat shoes. Both? These plans aren’t really definite. Anything fun that comes my way i will happily partake in!

Someone asked me recently why i haven’t met up with a guy in a while. Probably because i’m just tired of being in the same script with different cast, or that i have a long chain of ex-boyfriends, or that i have issues i need to solve,ooooor, the right one just hasn’t come along. I’m not in a hurry to find another man. And yes i’m scared of letting someone get close to me. Why? For Christ’s sake, i keep getting my heart broken! It’s a process i wouldn’t want to ever go through ever again. Quality over Quantity.

For the record though, i’m fine! I’m holding up well. I’m breathing, living, and growing. That’s what’s important right now.

Let Let Go Tonight- Atomic Tom

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

World AIDS day 2010


Happy December!

Today’s world AIDS day 2010. Naturally, cuppatea must preach.

You know what that means, GO & GET TESTED! Yes, you fabulous looking queeny twink there, grab that jock you call a boyfriend and go get tested against HIV/AIDS or STIs, which are just as serious! You never know, if he slept with someone else or you did things when you were so wasted in that club, you might bring it into the relationship. You gorgeous Lesbians! Even if you have the lowest rate of getting HIV infection, please go get tested. Some lesbians still do guys and just like some cowardly men, they don’t tell you.Testing together as a couple is truly important. If you love one another you’d do it. The same for trangenders and heterosexual couples. It’s still shocking that there’s a large percentage of society that still don’t know their status. Get tested, it’s important.

Just what do happens if one of you is found positive?

Some people fight! Some deny it, and refuse to believe that they’re HIV+. But just because you caught HIV doesn’t mean life stops! You can still live your life, and for many years as proven by some people. And try not to blame one another. It’s important to know the way forward for your future rather than to point fingers and play the blame game.

If you truly love one another as a couple, you fight it together. HIV is so so real, i wish i could show you just how emphatic i am about this issue. Wondering where to get tested if you’re gay? There’s Liverpool VCT in Kilimani, and The Dream Daughters of Charity in Karen-Lang’ata, that don’t discriminate gay couples. Yes, there’s still some stigma in society. Sincerely speaking though, Don’t let that stop you from living your life 100%! HIV can be viewed like cancer. Unfortunately, People just poke at the fact that it’s usually caught sexually hence stigmatize it. It can be caught by having unprotected sex with many people or, sleeping with one person without knowing their sexual history/background or HIV status.

If you’re positive and you don’t know what to do, Join support groups or talk to counsellors, they’ll help you. Or, talk to me. I’m not a qualified HIV counsellor, but i am a good listener.

Be safe people.


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