Nyumbani (home)

I'd love to tell you about crazy stuff that's happened to me like dates, the rave, friends, experiences and all but i can't! Why? Because none of that's happening! I'm doing my semester finals... again.
Yes it's that period where i isolate myself from the world and friends physically and immerse myself in books and a clock-work routine of Home-school-library-exam room-home etc. Two more weeks to go to the December Holidays. 
I don't mind that this period makes me "un-cool" because i'll be having the last laugh eventually when i'm earning a decent salary. Even if some ad-exec told me 10% of what i learn is used outside.

Being at home, or Nyumbani as it's called in Swahili, has been relaxing. Okay i might have cleared a bottle of rum with a girlfriend the other day but aside that i've been clean! No sex either. I'm actually going celibate because well, it's not enough. There's also a fair amount of reading done. And the occassional game sessions on my playstation. Home's also making me eat lots! 

The downsides with being home is the usual clawing at each other, i had a tiff with my mother again (she hang up on me, fun!) and my cousin's in hospital again, sigh. Every home has it's dramas i guess.

And that's about it! Right now my life's not exciting at all. Save for the drunk texts i get lately, keep them coming i enjoy a good laugh when i wake up.

Bring on December already! 

|Coming Home-Sauti Sol|

dating below

"I refuse to lower my standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs."- Steve Gamlin.
"My friends would say it's okay but they'd judge me behind my back for dating a person like him.
There'd be that awkward moment when he wouldn't relate with what either my friends or self are talking about.
His friends would find me expensive and spoiled. 
She'd be intimidated by my own friends.
it just can't work

I chose to begin with seemingly notorious quote that's gracing people's status updates.
And then i did some research last week.
The above represents various responses i got when i asked some of my friends if they'd date a person who's from the lower middle or lower class areas of society. I couldn't help myself but question them this, "But why does what your friends think about them matter so much?"
One of them said "it'll bring issues like a Mexican soap, one of them might be uncomfortable with the situation, say like when you pay an expensive bill and they can't. It bruises some of them ego-wise." 
So when i asked "so why not come down to their level, i mean assuming you really liked them wouldn't you do anything to be happy with and for them?" the answer i got was a saddening one, "i'd try but you know it would affect my image..." Wow, superficial much? 
Dating someone who's not socially well off as you are happens everywhere. In many cases it does work between the two. 

When i was asked "Would you as cuppatea agree to date someone who's raised humbly, comes from a lesser background, and lives in a place like zimmerman?" 

I'll tell you my answer after this.

The gay society in Kenya is quite the judgmental one, at least from what i've seen and experienced so far. It actually bothers me that it matters to people whom it is you choose to court and get into relationships with. If you're not a strong person emotionally i realize, some people can actually tear your relationship apart because they air their various opinions like "oh my goodness how can he date such a shady person, i wouldn't want to be seen with them." By the way, that statement is real, it came (sadly) from a acquaintance of mine. I've seen relationships with guys my age of both gay and heterosexual orientations, fall apart because they listened to all the slander that came from society. Mind you, most of those throwing negative comments were single! 

I'm not saying that anyone who's in such a situation will receive negative comments, as a matter of fact i know several that have received praise and work just fine, in fact a certain pair have courted for almost 3 years now. People just need to look at themselves and be real. Happiness is everywhere, you just have to have an open mind...it's supposed to be immaterially based. Think Miranda and Steve from sex and the city, She was a high flying corporate lawyer and he was a bartender! Interesting outcomes can arise from simplicity. 

"As long as their personality is one that gets along with mine & they're presentable and polite, i wouldn't have a problem dating such a person" was the answer i gave back. 


Conditional Aid & Homosexual rights: a sample response

Very recently, UK's PM David Cameron announced in a nutshell that aid will be suspended to developing countries who oppress homosexuality and human rights. Reading the East African this morning, i came across this opinion on page 17 in the November 7th-13th issue (this weeks paper) by a man called Generali Ulimwengu, a Tanzanian columnist:

"African men are a macho lot, and for many the very idea of a man-on-man sexual partnership is anathema. Woman-on-woman also.
A man was created specifically to have liaison with a woman, and a woman was created as a tool, exclusively to serve the man, in both productive and reproductive pursuits.It is inconceivable that two such tools would dream of having a liaison other than with the man.
Rather like the tractor dating the combine harvester on the farm.No self-respecting African man would let another man pay for his and his wife's and his children's upkeep."

Retarded thinking isn't it? Just like the Ghanaian President, he joins a bandwagon of backward minds that fail to understand the basic issue of human rights. Heck, i should add women's rights as well, seeing as he called them "tools".

It always fascinates me that in this day and age we have people with such mindsets. Does he know that some of his colleagues, friends and family are possibly gay as well? It's not his fault though, that he thinks this way. Many Africans, especially those from rural areas, have been brought up with the notion that homosexuality is "ungodly and unafrican". Ideas taught by teachers, church movements and general societal norms and principles instilled rudimentary thoughts in not just Ulimwingu, but many others like him.

Honestly speaking as a 22 year old gay student, my analysis of the society thus far has shown me that there's very few individuals, usually restricted to the smaller circles of exposed persons, that think about liberalization of human rights and graft as a way of progress in developing Africa. It is not just limited to Infrastructure, Health and Education. Unfortunately, these open individuals are outside the government. Yes they'll air their opinions but as always, corrupt and stiffly governments laugh them off.

Mr. Cameron is quite smart in making his aid conditional, in that if Africa has to progress as a continent, some fundamentals have to be observed, adopted and followed, beginning with the most basic; human rights. Actually, people are saying that Mr. Cameron is oppressing developing countries. Have those countries stopped to look at what they're doing to minority groups, let alone women? And what of corruption/graft regarding those funds given to them?
Mr. Cameron is being nice by telling them "look, you have rampant discrepancies in the way you handle the funds we give to you but we'll start with human rights first, sort them out." That is the message, plain and clear, he's telling them. And their replies? Refer to the letter Ulimwengu wrote here. One of many crude responses.

Developing countries aren't used to being given conditions. They are however, used to sticking their hands out with bowls in hand, begging for Aid which they'll have difficulties paying back. The same aid that will find its way into the pockets of their corrupt selves. I long for the day when aid is given and is put to 100% use with it's payback on track.

Finally, i can only imagine that China is rubbing it's arm with glee, looking to put it's policies of unconditional aid in exchange for resources they need to use. If developing countries won't listen to their donors, they'll run to China's government.

Are we doomed?

|Julie-Take That|

November Could Amuse…


I was out shopping yesterday, the weather was right and the company was good. I can’t explain why i’m so attached to leather! It’s tough, feels good and it’s cow skin being put to good use!
One thing with shopping is that i get hungry after. It was National Sandwich Day in America yesterday so i’d honoured it by having one when i got back to the city centre, it was really good. Screw you diet i prefer fine eating that having bat shit minuscule servings of fishy things like leeks… Shopping and sex, i think these two make women and gay men happy.

November usually tends to be a boring month. The events aren’t as many and considering semester finals are around the corner, it gets busy as well!

Now to start the post properly. Ladies and gentlemen i was at it again!

We know of a very good song called “beng beng beng” by Femi Kuti, one of the more famous African musicians.
So November started off with a bang!
By bang (or beng) i mean sex.
It wasn’t an accident neither was it orchestrated. I went to visit my rugby playing friend, and that evening when we were both mellow, i found myself in bed with him. The sex however, was not mellow. For me, a guy who’s energetic and creative in bed gets me really started, you want to work? I’ll make you work till you sweat! Which is exactly what i did with him. I think that Kings of Leon song “sex on fire” is the most appropriate song for such a scene! Seriously, I got to flex, coil and bend in all manner of positions! He drove it higher and higher and was really good with speed, effort, comfort! 
It was like a really good yoga exercise, as a matter of fact when it comes to sex and grading, that guy has 8.5/10! You can’t give a perfect score. He’s a really good top though!
All this on a Tuesday…!
Sex in my opinion shouldn’t be a task, it’s an event. It should make you shake with all this energy after, make you light headed. Not a drab thing of “oh let’s get it over and done with”

The month should continue on such a high note! My God that was good sex…

|Beng Beng Beng-Femi Kuti|

Copyright © Cup-a-Tea