Your Questions Among Others: End Year Review

Fascinating year 2011 has been isn't it, use 3 words to describe it.
I wouldn't use the term "fascinating", lets go with "adventurous", "retarded" and "lessons".

What goals were you able to accomplish this year?
I quit taking sugar in my tea and coffee! And smoking. I'm very pleased with myself. I let myself loosen up a little bit. I tried taking sugared up tea, i couldn't go past 3 sips. 

What were you thinking by telling your mother you're gay?
You know she's confused right? perhaps i need to be more direct with her. I was pretty fed up that night, t'was the day i was dumped haha! I felt...tired. It reaches a point where you're like "i'm so done with this" and let the cat out of the bag. In her case, she's put the bloody thing back in the bag.

Why aren't you dating your shag buddy? You write nice things about him (or them).
They not interested in being in a relationship. They made that clear from the day i met them. I might have this notion around me that i get what i want but really, i found them; and i derive some sort of pleasure from them. No strings attached. I sometimes wonder what they'd be like as boyfriends. My guess possessive! One of them might be getting attached though.

What was that one month thing you had in October?
Well, i'd met this nice guy earlier in the year, talked and all. He's a complicated soul, and saw ahead of me that it was better off terminating it early instead of running into issues later. Learned lots from that experience.

Did you have an affair this year?
Didn't you read? LOL I wish i did, it'd have made your reading experience a lot more interesting hahaha! But seriously, affairs are disastrous, and i couldn't possibly, ever bring myself to another.

Do you still think of and miss superman?
What a question! Sometimes, small things trigger memories. Be it a place, statement, person that looks like him or songs. The things i hear about him worry me at times, but i've genuinely moved on.

Why do you drink so much, you even injure yourself in the process?
Sadly! Um, It's probably in my genes. True story. My friends are partly to blame as well! As are hidden holes and or furniture. Great, i've made myself sound like a drunk! I'll try and drink less in 2012.

What was the most interesting place you visited this year?
Malindi, the northern Coast of Kenya. Really magical small town. Hopefully in 2012 i'll go further up and see the fabled town of Lamu. They've got donkeys there...and very nice tour guides ;-)

Any Goals for 2012?
To graduate! Okay really, i've not put much thought into what goals i want to achieve in the coming year yet. Those usually come to me in January. 

You like music evidently, what's been your favourite album or song of the year?
Difficult question! There's been the new Amy Winehouse Album called Lioness:Hidden Treasures, then German Trance Artist ATB had his album Distant Earth, there's also Colbie Caillat's all of you, it's been a very good year for music. It's difficult to pick but if i had to it'd be Amy, because she covers some amazing songs like Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? and even sings with Tony Bennet. It's one of those albums you really sing along to anywhere, albeit loudly. What, you thought i'd forget to mention Lady GaGa's born this way album? I think it's on every gay's playlist! Mine included. Weird, questionable music but songs like Sheibe get my feet tapping. So Amy wins! It's not bias, it's talent.

Any good films you've watched in 2011?
Well i'm horrible with film watching but i did like Thor, & Fast Five (shitty story line, the car chase scenes were epic though).

What in your opinion was your best moment this year?
I'm torn between watching the sunrise recently in other worldly states or the sunset walk i had while on holiday... 

Worst moment?
Going back uni, only to be told your good friend died in surgery, that was horrible.

And on to the most delicious meal, what was it?
Sea food salad! All sorta sea fish and organic vegetables with thousand island dressing served with white wine. I went on for a 2nd round. 

Most Awkward moment?
Being busted by my brother making out with another bloke in the car outside my home... Tihihi? There's the benefit of  doubt because it was dark...or so i'd like to believe.

Everyone has embarrassing moments, what was your most embarrassing one this year?
So my gay friend and i were walking in campus right, and this fiiiiiiiiiiiine guy walks by in the opposite direction! I'm like daaaaaayum he's fiiiiine and my friend's like mmmm yes as we check out the bloke stealthily. After he passes by i say mmm i'd like some of that! and my friend goes like aaaiii he's so mine, tafuta ingine (look for another one) and then we start talking like African-Americans, the Laquisha or Laverne/Shaniqua type and i say Ooooh heeeeell naw hun, that man's so mine and do the whole finger snapping and head movement, and my friend retaliates with oh no girl, he's mine!, AND THEN a lecturer passes quickly moving in front of us saying a very meek hello... We're both so shocked and embarrassed we cringe and say hi back. After he walks ahead i'm like oh hell he saw everything... HAHAHA! My friends' like mscheeeeeew so embarrassing
Then we both laughed loudly! :-) Goodness if the ground could swallow me up that would've been the best moment!

Where will you be on Christmas eve?
I genuinely don't know. I'd like to say in the safe confines of my bed BUT we all know that's lying to myself...

Any parting shot, comment, anything you'd say about the year 2011 in general?
you know how in south park in the opening scene, where the opening song ends and there's an explosion of some building and there's a guy who's jumped away from it? that one. 
Anyway, through good times and bad i will always remain your cuppatea.

Finally, you end 2011 with which song?
All i need is you-ATB ft Sean Ryan. It's the one currently playing in the background.

see you next year. 

Christmases unlike no other

Merry Christmas, Happy Boxing day and Seasons' greetings from me cuppatea! :-)
I hope Santa Claus was good to all of you and gave you pleasant gifts and surprises! Personally i still wonder how he knows who's been naughty or good; does that make him a peeping Tom or perv? No one knows...

I met up with the bloke that wanted the second date. It didn't end well. For him at least, i'm fine though. I gave him a short lecture about his behaviour. I really didn't expect to do that to a 30 years+ man. Basically i told him that i'm not comfortable with the idea of dating him given his actions. He said sorry and he respects my decision. I said goodbye and i didn't look back. 

My Christmas day was quite different from what i'm used to... I was asleep almost the whole day. This is because i'd been out on Christmas eve with some good friends of mine! I have very little recollection of what happened, but i do know this, i was in a park by myself at 6.15am Christmas morning high as a kite watching the sun rise! Now before you lecture me on safety, please note that i wasn't robbed and that i still have all my personal belongings. 
I still don't know how i found myself at a park, but i can tell you this, it was one of the most surreal experiences of my life. The silence, cold mist combined with the sun's golden rays in a dark sky with light fluffy clouds was the most beautiful thing i've seen all year! 
And then i had an hour long chat with two watchmen who man the entrance of the park. i don't know how i slipped past them to begin with...and I can't really recall the conversation, but i think it was something about Christmas and why they're working and the economy. I even gave them "Christmas Money". Oh, i fell at some point too! The marks on my chin, the large patch of dirt and grass on my pants are dead giveaways. Ouch.
So getting into the house at 8am and blacking out was the way i spent my Christmas day. I did wake up later on, apologizing to my siblings about my behaviour. They understood. Stayed awake, watched a film with them and had Christmas dinner! Not bad at all. 
Getting into bed i was utterly exhausted, hangovered, battered, you name it! I doubt i'll be drinking that much anytime soon.

I've got the coming week off so i'll probably use it to catch up on sleep, read those books i got and generally unwind properly...

P.s i found chopsticks in my trousers too... My friends have some explaining to do.

|Winter Wonderland-Michael Buble|

Laid Back Weekends

My weekend was rather relaxed... No dancing or extreme activity, just one well spent.

Friday was the day i decided to hold a Friday coffee with friends before they traveled upcountry for the festive season. Nothing fancy, it was quite hot that day so i had an iced tea as we caught up. There's also an ice cream parlor that has ridiculously cheap but tasty pistachio ice-cream too! 
The man i've come to dislike was to call me that day to meet but as guessed correctly, he didn't. This was realized when i was watching a musical with my other friends. I told myself i'd call him the following morning because quite frankly, i was fed up. 

Saturday Morning, i woke up with my dog in my face. Shove her a bit, I pick up the phone and dial. I'm dialing that man seemingly for the last time. For a man that used to communicate daily, he told me he was "overtaken by events". So when asked if i could see him that day he said he was busy. Even 30 minutes? Nope. Alright Mister busy, stay that way. 

I was going to have family over that day, and thank heavens my aunties brought a big bottle of Italian wine that they ended up not liking! Children of today are on steroids i believe, they're utterly hyperactive! If i'm going to be a gay dad i'll make sure my children are settled. The wine helped me remain calm throughout the day. It was the last day i'd see some members of my family, as they'd be flying out the next day. As i went to bed i told myself they'd be no more communication with that man. My suspicions and analyses, as well as advice from friends were confirmed, the man isn't interested in me any more. So that story has died right there! Meanwhile i kept the wine bottle for referral. 

Sunday Morning was a little bit chaotic, suitcases not closing (duh, all those clothes for a month's trip and you didn't fold them? Woman really?) misplaced passports etc but everything was found and done properly. And they left! My cousin was around so he gave me a ride to my friends place. We were having Sunday Lunch when everyone else was at Blankets and Wine. I got home and decided to sleep while that nice feeling of completeness was still there. Besides, i needed to wake up early to work.

...Which were promptly put to a halt Monday Morning when the matatu strike affected my workers commutes. Honestly this country of mine never ceases to amuse me! In fact tax payers should go on strike because to be quite frank, all these strikes, price hikes, and whatnot are just ridiculous! A few calls later the decision to stay indoors and resume work tomorrow was made. 
And then the man whom i got out of my system decides to communicate. I stared at that message thinking I should ignore this but because i have a heart i decided to be polite and reply. He was asking what i was up to today and i told him i had businesses to run. His response was work and shopping. No mention of wanting to meet. I dismissed him by telling him to enjoy his activities. His reply of "hoping to meet soon" was ignored. He'll keep hoping, i'm done with that chapter.

Sometimes, a knight in shining amour is just an bloody fool dressed in tin foil... 

|In God's hands-Nelly Furtardo|

Living Within & Liking Beyond My Means

Today's been a slightly okay day, one of my friends made it bearable, mostly because i hadn't seen her since September. But i need to rant and vent. Please run along if you don't want to hear a gay man bitch about issues. Stay if you want to be slightly amused.

Living Within My Means 
I don't like lying to myself. That's why when something expensive comes up and it's not being paid for, i choose to not participate in it, because really, a student like me has no income(yet) and my family wouldn't see importance is spending so much money on a certain activity.
I miss many an opportunity for such reasons, like beach parties that cost and arm and a leg (at times a liver), or random raves over the week or expensive shopping trips. Now because of this i get called all sorts of things like "looser" or "party pooper" but  shrug them off. Because if i got into such activities i'd be bankrupting myself for the month.
Case in point: Today i went book shopping with some friends. The places i get my books sell them Ksh 200 (around $1.25) because book stores are quite expensive with the titles I'm looking for. There's this event called blankets & wine that many people like to go for. You go with a picnic basket of your own food and drink (or buy whatever's there) and listen to whichever artist are performing in a nice, garden scaped area.
There's a duet of South Africans called liquideep who are coming to perform this Sunday at the B&W event. I really like these guys but i cannot go because quite simply, i can't afford to spend that amount of money of a concert at this time, Since my cousin fell ill with cancer all funds have been channeled in her direction. Anyway, i told my friend i can't make it. One of the just rubbished me in front of the other. He's also gay FYI. I'm a little bit shocked about that and i wanted to react and cite my reasons as to why i couldn't attend, but i just kept quiet. Then he brought up the pasara incident of two years ago and made it look like my fault when all along it was him and the other fellow who caused drama.
Yeah my mood for the afternoon was pretty much ruined. But i stayed. And the afternoon went on. 
It's upsetting when people treat you that way. It's probably a good thing for me to miss the event. I have their album anyway, i was just going to see the tall singer fellow perform. He's called Ziyon. 
And then the matatu i got into ran out of fuel, about 20 metres away from the fuel station. The irony was overwhelming.

Liking Beyond My Means
I met this guy sometime back. Met him physically one afternoon during my study leave (he was in my home area) and the bloke had insisted we meet. From our conversations over the phone, he'd been jovial, happy guy that made me laugh. He'd ask how my day was or what i was up to. I'd also ask similar, send the odd flirtatious text, be open and frank about my thoughts and opinions on things. Any sane person can see these are signs of a person that's into you. He's quite good looking, semi-muscular, tall, well spoken and outgoing. I liked him.
However, we are yet to go on a 2nd date, and he travelled over the weekend that's just passed, which is the weekend i went out. We'd have met up but it seems our schedules weren't flexible. On the rave, I try to reply or answer phone calls when i can, but it's really rude and or the place is loud so i can't pick up. The messages started sounding a bit off but i assumed it was because he was under pressure at work. I send texts of encouragement at times. But recently whenever i send text messages i get back smiley-less, 3 or 4 worded messages in return, or calls that go unpicked.
Today, i get a text message saying "i deserve to be happy". First of all Nairobi men, please stop using that line. It's getting old. My intuition tells me something's wrong, so when i ask what that meant and why he said such he's like "I'm sorting grain from the chaff." I didn't know whether to take that as an insult or a compliment. Heart says the former. I tell him know how to respond to that. My cousin calls and during that call, he tries to call 6 times. When i make my cousin hang up to speak to him, he acts like he's done nothing wrong with that message. What the hell is this? I tell him i was perturbed by his message. It really left me speechless. He's trying to find out what I'm up to but i just tell him I'll speak with him about it when next i see him. 
I've not gone on a second date with this guy and I'm getting this much attitude? It doesn't work that way.
I mean how is it you're really nice to someone, break your own rules to meet them, encourage them, be honest and open with them, and then tables turn around?? Does he know who he's talking to and dealing with? Evidently not. 
Fuck that, I'd rather stay single than continue with all this bullshit I'm getting from him. In fact it's even good it presented itself early lest in invested myself more into him.
I think the next chap i meet will have a difficult time getting me to warm up to him.

End of rant.

|Midnight City-M83|

Hillary Clinton on “Free and Equal in Dignity and Rights”


"Today, I want to talk about the work we have left to do to protect one group of people whose human rights are still denied in too many parts of the world today. In many ways, they are an invisible minority. They are arrested, beaten, terrorized, even executed. Many are treated with contempt and violence by their fellow citizens while authorities empowered to protect them look the other way or, too often, even join in the abuse. They are denied opportunities to work and learn, driven from their homes and countries, and forced to suppress or deny who they are to protect themselves from harm.
I am talking about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, human beings born free and given bestowed equality and dignity, who have a right to claim that, which is now one of the remaining human rights challenges of our time. I speak about this subject knowing that my own country's record on human rights for gay people is far from perfect."

Hillary Rodham Clinton's landmark address before the United Nations in Geneva . The full speech can be found here. Photo courtesy of

For Independence


It's my country's independence anniversary. 48 years of independent rule! Yet right now we have doctors strikes, increasing living costs and depressing news. Gotta love +254...

I'm on holiday finally, but the feeling hasn't quite sunk in yet... Yes i went out on Friday and Saturday, and went for a Barbeque Sunday evening but the feeling just isn't there yet.
Perhaps it's all this whirlwind of activity in the family. My cousin's cancer returned, it's quite bad so her, her mother and my mother are flying out to India. This leaves me with my mother's business in my hands, because all my other siblings are employed. I wasn't even asked, i was told "you'll man the the shop." There goes my holiday. It's such a boring place to be in... So Christmas and New years as a family will be spent without her. First time ever. I don't think i'll be going down to the coast either. I was utterly stoked about going but these new developments put a wet blanket on those plans. If this is getting independent… sigh.

I was out Friday and Saturday, and Sunday Afternoon. Friday was just an accident but i suppose it was inevitable that i'd be out with my schoolmates. You see i was actually heading home after a good coffee session with one of my girlfriends, and this lady's like "you aren't going home, twende!", and honestly i just couldn't say no. At one point of the night i got lost looking for the club i was in, where we were there's 5 clubs in one building. the gents are at a common place. Since they all had back doors, i entered the wrong one! Four times. Frustrated was i, i sat down at a counter of one of them and ordered another drink, as i asked the bartender for directions while i tried to ask my friends to meet me outside. Nevertheless i had fun, and got home at some ungodly hour reeking of a brewery.

P1010388Saturday was just one of those days that had no bearing. It started off with visiting big daddy. I needed to stretch bend and unwind.  When i got to the city, i ended up having lots of free time so i took myself book shopping. State of the union by Douglas Kennedy. I met up another friend for tea, while i waited on my partner in party crime to arrive. I was going for the BLNRB concert that was held at the railways club. Loud, loud concert with interesting urban sounds. And it wasn't even that packed which was fantastic. Yet again, i got home at an ungodly hour. My ears were and still are, ringing.

Once a while someone throws a Sunday Barbeque. My friend was celebrating his 3rd year of one of his businesses (really people have such interesting reasoning) and i was invited to go. My dear audience, your cuppatea will get fat by the time January gets here, i don't recall eating that much roast meat in ages! He invited us to his home. There, we had a really good chat about lots of things. When I got home in time to speak with my father, I was tipsy, and in that state i say pretty much what's on my mind. Refer to my first paragraph of this post. He said "you'll be fine". Just that.

Now it's Monday evening, today all i did was spend time with family, write this post, and bake a cake!  A yummy coffee flavoured cake. P1010405

i’ll put a methodology of cake making next time i bake. The cake’s recipe can be found here.



Meanwhile, my holiday continues…


JbDubs - I Hate My Job (Official Music Video)


There seems to be an increasing trend in such; Men in heels dancing interesting styles. Fun!

World Aids Day 2011



Every year i write about HIV/AIDS posts during world AIDS day. The theme this year is “Getting to Zero”. That means, zero infections, zero AIDS-related deaths and zero discrimination.
There’s always the talk of abstinence among the youth. I’m sorry that’s just not happening. The reality should be safety among the youth. You can even see it with me myself, this year has been one of my most sexually active years! But i play it safe. The thing is, i’m not sure if others are. Alcohol, drugs, basically with high drunken sex one tends to forget. It nearly happened to me this year but i was adamant that he wore a condom. It’s a little funny seeing a drunk man putting one on, but hey, the feeling of safety is assuring.

As we celebrate this day, i’ll leave you with a scenario i had about 2 weeks ago, during an HIV/AIDS drive held at my university.

In the university grounds, cuppatea and his guy friends are getting tested for HIV. They’re stood outside a white tent waiting on results, talking, after having been tested. A short, young lady in a brown skirt and white blouse appears from the tent.

Counsellor: Your results are ready, Kujeni ndani. (Come inside.)
Me: Alrighty.
Friend 1: Ghai Mwathani! (Oh my God!)
Friend 2: Wacha Zako… Ebu Ingia! (Stop it, enter inside)
Me: It’s good to know, i can go first inside if you like.
Friend 1: We ingia tu, mimi na ngoja hapa mpaka utoke. (you just enter, i’ll wait here until you get out)
Me: Cool.

Enters tent

Counsellor: So what do you think your results are?
Me: Negative.
Counsellor: Good, yours is a negative result. Keep up your standards and safety.
Me: Thanks! I’ll tell my friends to enter now.

Leaves tent

Friend 2: Unasmile, hujapata. (you’re smiling, you’ve not got it)
Me: How do you know? Naeza kuwa nayo (i can have it) but i could be deceiving you. Thats what lots of people do when they get tested with friends. Ingia (enter).
Friend 1: Aai siwezi! (I can’t!) Leaves area.
Me: Shida yake ni nini? (What’s his problem?) OI! Kuja tu si mbaya kujua! (Just come it’s not bad to know!)
Friend 2: Mwache tu. (Just leave him).
Me: Lakini asipojue status yake (if he doesn’t know his status) how will he be at peace with himself?
Friend 2: Sijui! Lakini you can’t force watu wajue. (you can’t force people to know) It’s up to them.
Me: But he took the test, surely what’s the point when you won’t pick up the results?
Friend 2: Ataenda siku moja, ni vile kuna stigma bado.
Me: Sighs. I hope for his sake and others his results were negative.
Friend 2: Sitashtuka kama ajawai testiwa. (I won’t be shocked if he’s never been tested before.)

Counsellor appears again from the tent

Counsellor: Rafiki wako akowapi? (Where is your friend?)
Friend 2: Alihepa! (he ran off!)
Counsellor: Shakes head. Nani mwengine? (who’s next?) 4 girls appear.

Cuppatea and his friend are walking to class.

Me: My finger good heavens!
Friend 2: Nini?
Me: i know that counsellor lady grew up around a farm.
Friend 2: Why do you say that?
Me: The way she got the blood out of my finger, it’s like she was literally milking the bloody thing out the way one milks a cow!!
Friend 2: nods head grinning

This is just one of many instances that’s happened when getting an HIV/AIDS test. Especially with friends. I tried to talk the fellow into getting a test but he wouldn’t hear anything of it. The best i could do was tell him to make sure he asks what his sex partner’s HIV status is before he sleeps with them, and to carry and wear a condom whenever he engages in sex.

That goes for all of you!

|Last Night-Diddy ft Keysha Cole|
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