Most Routine Indeed: Ending January


I’ve been utterly busy with this thing people call university.
Everything from shifting time tables and shifting classes has been happening lately. Being class rep’s not a fun job, imagine putting posters everywhere to inform people a class has been moved, so that they don’t say “we weren’t informed”.

You’ve not missed much though, My life’s been incredibly routine. School. Home. Family Errands. Repeat cycle. It doesn’t help that some of my friends have been swallowed whole by their places of work either! Everyone life is moving. Like the gears of a clock. I haven’t even gone out this month! It’s a record that I’ve been indoors a consecutive four weeks in a row. I’m going to get a medal for this. Very early in the semester and I’ve got a tonne of school work, academic research project included. Fun! Boring as it seems, at least life is as progressive as time.

Sat in a coffeehouse again (they should give me loyalty cards) waiting. I cursed the pimple that formed on my forehead that morning. (Shame on it! There was anti-inflammatory creams in the house so that helped it go down.) Would they get along with me? Were they taller or shorter? Were they going to be boring or fun? Such are the thoughts and questions that run through my mind whenever i meet a person for the first time. For the first time this year, i was on a date. How did it go? I’ll tell you after the 2nd one. Yes, he’s asked to see me again. This time cupid please aim properly. I took the plunge by going on this date, please don’t let this be one be an arse.

The night sky in the Kenyan summer (“hot season” locals call it) is a beautiful sight to gaze upon. I found myself out on my lawn, at 1am, lying down on the grass looking at the stars. It was a spectacularly warm night, and i had absolutely no sleep. Took the iPod and went outside. In nothing but my shirt and boxers! I love the cool breeze flowing over me, over the grass, and rustling the leaves of the trees and flowers. I was supposed to be listening to Laura Pausini but instead, i found myself a new age music playlist. In that playlist was a song called Imagination. There was something about the glittering stars, the crescent moon and the cool wind that made this song, which was already amazing, sound far more deep. The piano in the song is simple but so wonderful! The voices even add mysterious aura to it…

And now for February.



One of my favourite bands, Maroon 5, have this song called "stutter". It sings about how this girl is to them a "fantasy girl"...and they even sing along to say "you feel so good you make me st-st-stutter."
So in uni there's this tall fellow I quite like,a bit athletic looking with a sweet face...I just have the tiniest crush on him because he's the cool, loner but intellectual type.
So I see him walking towards me ans I'm walking with a friend right, and say hi to him. He greets me back and asks about a friend we have in common.
And then I stuttered! Shit! I said I had no idea where she was at. Meanwhile the book in his hand, some random one about colonialisms in Kenya made a good distraction from my stuttering, 'coz I asked him about it and even recommended John Fox's book called "white mischief". Except now's when I'm remembering the title because I stuttered, and stuttered some more until I was like "ah, google it; it's about Lord Errol."
We parted ways but I'm pretty sure I was red in the face, my ears were feeling pretty hot! Funny thing is, that stutter song played next on my playlist...

On to the next one then hihihi

|Mr.Saxobeat-Alexandra Stan|
Sent from my BlackBerry®

Crossed Legged Texts


So why am i being laughed at for declaring celibacy?
I was having iced tea (it’s been outrageously hot lately) with my friends on Friday, and they were quite amused at that the notion of me being sexless for a while. One of them even said “but you’re the whore of the group”. Of course he was being light hearted with that statement but inside me i was embarrassed/appalled. I could only smile.
Personally, i think going celibate will sort of help me focus on finding something real. And besides those men were getting too comfortable. So yes, I’ve crossed my legs and they’ll remain that way for a while. I mean, Gukira can do it, why can’t i?

I tend to think it’s unfair of men to bombard you with all sorts of messages, AFTER you’ve lost interest in them. Even when they themselves know that. Do they think it’s cute to send “something about you i miss” and “can’t get you out of my mind” messages? Because i genuinely don’t… I’ve not replied to them. This time i laughed loudly in the middle of a street whilst reading them. Then i put the phone back in my pocket and continued walking.

My life continues.

|Midnight City-M83|

The Truth Hurts

It's been a week of pissing people off on my part.

There are working class people all around me sat on different tables, and two waiters are bustling up and down serving and taking orders. To my left a beautiful woman. To my right an elderly couple. In front of me are a tall glass of milkshake and a cup of cappuccino. 
This is the setting in which i came out to a lady many heterosexual friends thought would end up with me sometime in the near future, as my wife. Imagine that!
I had just told her i'm gay, after having a long discussion about many other things, mostly school, life abroad, friends and the like. She told me she had gay friends. What did she feel about them, i asked her. Her response was a positive one, which prompted me to just come clean and tell her the truth. 
This is a most fantastic woman with whom i've climbed mountains with, called when she felt home sick, encouraged her when she was stressed with schoolwork, and generally been there for her when she needs me. The states can be a difficult place to live in especially when you're homesick.

Her reply to me, she said "i knew it." 

I don't like disappointing people but i could tell she was a little disappointed, though she told me she'd always suspected i'm gay. The truth hurts.

Have you ever been in a situation where you look like the evil one for speaking the truth? Could someone please show me how to tell a friend a man isn't good for them WITHOUT looking like an evil person that doesn't want to see a friend progress? Because my true sentiments about a person were aired and the feedback wasn't appreciated. I'm sorry, i'm blunt, i don't like beating round the bush but when it comes to friends i care about and i hear nasty stuff about their men of course i'm going to warn them. Even if it makes me look like a liar and warrants me being ignored/censored for a while (or ever; Lord knows). After all, where there's smoke there's usually fire. The truth hurts.

When i told yet another friend that it's impolite to "gate crash" a function they weren't invited for they get offended. It's basic good manners, there's a reason you weren't invited and that's because the event wasn't mine. The hostess planned it for her friends only, i was merely helping out where i could, because that's what brother's do for family innit? The truth bloody hurts i know. But that's the case. It's most unfortunate that they didn't want to understand. 

What's frustrating is that when you keep quiet and they still find out stuff, moreso when they find out you knew all along, you still get into crap with them. 

It's quite difficult being a friend sometimes.

|Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough-Patty Smyth| 

New Year Notes

The year has started off relatively drama free!

I didn't get up to much on new years' eve, i went for an Indian dinner then i found myself at a club, complete with confetti and party masks. I didn't even get high that night, which is a good thing! 
Unlike most people who've been at the coast or in their beds resting, i've been running up and down running errands and businesses. One thing i've learned is that it's definitely not easy and it certainly needs a lot of patience. I've not even gone to uni yet to register for what was supposed to be my final semester. I'll get round to doing that soon though, i've got quite the long semester ahead of me. 

I'm still curious as to why the man from December is trying to communicate with me after i made it clear he's not suited for me. To be nice I've picked up or replied his texts, but now this is getting too much. He'd have been a great guy for 18 year old me, but the current me feels otherwise! I don't like this sort of behaviour because i sense motive. Does he think i'll have seen he's changed, when he's already shown me what he's really like? He is the reason i'm currently disinterested in dating at the moment. 
Whilst i know i'm not the only one he's fucking, my shag buddy decided to cruise a gay hookup site in my presence. Aghast i was, it doesn't really hit you until you see it for yourself! Furthermore, i know he's doing two acquaintances of mine. I did a little homework after witnessing that. I don't know if they know about me though. I at one point thought he was getting attached to me, but that's clearly not the case. I hid my sentiments from him about the issue, but clearly it's time i moved on from all that.

I suppose the main goal for the year is to graduate university. That's all the way in October. I've not set others but they'll come as time moves on. Being fit is one of them but it's quite demotivating when you go to the gym to check their rates and you find that it's out of your reach. I'll go buy some running shoes and shorts. 

So far with the little time i had at home, i took organization into my own hands! Yes i got tired of my wardrobe looking like hurricane Katrina struck, so that was sorted, next up is my bookshelf. Bloody thing struggles to support itself with all the books there hahaha! I've also been cooking lots, from new years day dinner to a most interesting aubergine and capsicum stir fry... All of these things pretty homely. 

Anyway, lets see what the year brings forth.

|Domino-Jessie J|
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