Bye 2012, You Reeked

What, were you expecting me to review 2012? It's been a shit year, with the exception of graduating and meeting new friends (and reconnecting with old ones too). The men were not so nice. That is all.

2013's motto will be "go fuck yourself". I pray for a better year ahead.

Happy New Year.

|Black Orchid - Riccardo Eberspacher|

Friend Zoned

Oh shit I got friend zoned! 

A state of being where a male inadvertently becomes a 'platonic friend' of an attractive female
(Or male) who he was trying to intitate a romantic relationship. Females (Or males really) have been rumored to arrive in the Friend Zone, but reports are unsubstanciated.
"I love you (Insert the poor bastard's name here,) but I dont want to ruin a great friendship by dating you."
"Well why the fuck did I waste two months on you?"

Not cool. After months of talking, going on dates (or so I thought they were), I got friend zoned yesterday. #OOMF is not attracted to me "that way". As always with being friend zoned, conversation will go down, eventually stopping altogether.

What did I do then, after being friend zoned? I had a few drinks with mates, went out and danced myself silly! Spent a good 4 hours on that dance floor. The DJ last night was killing it!! The kind of music that sees you getting home at 4:30am. That was a very good rave.I didn't spend anything. Not that I can to begin with.

When I woke up this morning, reality sunk in. Hangovered, confused and my body ached all over. Results of a good good night out.

We keep calm & Carry on then. On to 2013. #Single bells, single bells, single all the way... 

|Stay On These Roads- a-ha|

Happy Holidays (to you)/Merry Christmas (Meh)

It's December 25th, 2012. So far I have:

  • Survived the Mayan "end of the world" 21/12/2012 thing. "Keep on dancing 'till the world ends" by Britney spears was my theme song for that weekend. Give me a medal.
  • #OOMF is a really cool dude. #OOMF makes me smile and laugh. #OOMF knows I like him. #OOMF even got a Christmas present from me! #OOMF doesn't seem to feel the same way for me. Not sure if taking precautions, or just doesn't know how to express himself. I discovered this on a lovely, super hangovered date with him on the 23rd.
  • It's never really the holidays until you drink yourself silly. This Christmas rave's souvenir is a tall, thick wine glass from a staff party which I was invited to. Open Bar + Cup-a-tea = more rave.This is the reason I went for a date hangovered.
  • I thought Christmas time meant that the city's supposed to be empty with everyone gone to the village? LIES! What was all that traffic on Christmas eve? Why was the CBD so packed? I too, want to leave the city, but not for the village, but for the beach. This idea looks bleak now. 
  • What are these Christmas presents that people so fondly speak of? 
  • Using this time to think about the goals I've achieved and What's set for next year.
  • Christmas was much more fun as a child. Meh.

Merry Christmas.

My Family is Frustrating Me

I know
Caught up in the middle
I cry, just a little
When I think of letting go
Oh no
Gave up on the riddle
I cry, just a little
When I think of letting go

"I'm alright" Is the answer I give to people when they ask how I'm doing. It's starting to get evident, my moods have gone down significantly, lost interest in many things... It's actually when a friend pointed out that my tone of voice wasn't the same is when I realized that yes, I'm not alright.
As a result, it's been two weeks of silence from me. Sorry about that. I've had lots on my plate emotionally and I didn't know how to express myself. Several times I've come close to throwing objects at walls out of frustration with this thing or idea called family.

I've been very annoyed at my family for several reasons.

Lets start with how I woke up one morning with very long email conversations my brother and father had. The result, my allowance slashed in half. I loaded the emails again to make sure I wasn't reading them wrong. In a nutshell, it's because "I'm not doing much." I was quite pissed off, what the fuck did he mean "I'm not doing much?" WHO TOLD YOU??? And In December? I didn't go hiking, I didn't go shopping, I felt (and still feel) like a prisoner or a jobless person on some poor, poor dole. It's not easy for me, I'm looking for a job seriously (though that's on hold because offices are closing for Christmas, and job postings are few) and I kinda need money to move around. Everyone knows I'm upset about this and I've talked to them about it but they're not DOING anything about it and this just totally frustrates me!!
Couple that with the fact I'm being trooped around like some form of maid and not being appreciated for it. I cut so many social activities just to do things for this family, I'm not ignorant, I ALWAYS put them first and this is how I get treated back, with mood swings, being used and what not.
To add salt on the wound, they made me pay for the internet bill after my allowance got pleasantly slashed. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING TO ME?? I CANNOT PAY BILLS WHEN YOU CUT MY ALLOWANCE IN HALF YOU BLOODY NITWITS! YOU LOT HAVE JOBS! I HAVE NOTHING! NOTHING!!!
Even after all this, I still accompanied my mother to my late aunt's funeral.

There's an email waiting to be sent to father dearest, I'm waiting for the sun to rise in his timezone so that he reads it. I expect a snort, a sip of tea, and him swiping his finger on to the next email after, and a 4 day-later reply. I've not spoken to my brother in two weeks.

It's going to be so much fun having a cappuccino with my last remaining note. I've reached a point of no care.

|I Cry-Flo Rida|

The First Weekend of December

The school hall was quite empty.
In it sat a two ladies and two men, in front of laptop computers with webcams on them facing the opposite direction. To their left, a strange contraption with a green light. "Place four of your fingers on the biometric identity machine," she said with warmth.
I was getting registered as a voter. The whole process took less than 5 minutes. Now I wait for March 2013, when voting day comes. Let my vote be one for change.

The public transport vehicles (read buses and matatus) have been striking. I stayed indoors Friday as a result of the ongoing strike. They are striking because of new laws that are supposed to reduce tragedies and increase safety.They had stopped the strike on Saturday. I was at the bus stop waiting for a matatu (jitney) to come. And when it did, many of us made a beeline for it. Uncivil I'm aware, but I had to go places. Pushed the bloke trying to wedge under me and got in. I felt no remorse at such an action!

A film festival of music videos was playing a few hours later at Nairobi's newest art hub, the NEST. There, I watched very interesting music videos that were pleasing to the eye visually. Lots of colours and interesting storylines. I did not stay the duration of the festival, I had to go to the CBD for a date.

As much as I wanted the date to go on, I had to be home early for a family dinner. My cousin ad her fiancee were around. I was also helping mother dearest cook. There seems to be a slight truce between her and I. We just don't talk my sexuality as an issue. The dinner was lovely though!

I like someone enough to stop having casual sex with my clandestines. Also, Still recovering from such horrid sex in October. But really, I like him. Guilt would eat me up for sleeping with someone else when I clearly like the bloke. Wish my crossed legs luck with this one.

|Die Young-Ke$ha|

World Aids Day 2012

The first day of December marks World AIDS day. I keep preaching on the importance of safe sex, status awareness and responsibility, must I really repeat myself?


In this gay society of ours, there are lots and lots of lies. "I'm not seeing anyone", "I've never had unprotected sex", "You're my only shag-buddy", "He's just a friend" e.t.c. We've heard all these lines before. Which is why you need to get tested.

People share the same man as a result of being lied to, and end up having sex with them. Which is why you need to get tested.

People have drunken sex with men who have women somewhere and that has a higher risk of HIV transmission. Which is why you need to get tested.

People hook up for one night stands/one day stands without knowing the status of the other person. Which is why you need to get tested.

Your boyfriend isn't too keen on going with you to get an HIV test. Which is why you need to get tested.

People share needles when doing drugs for cheap thrills. Which is why you need to get tested.

People have low self esteems and end up sleeping with many people. Which is why you need to get tested.

HIV and AIDS are a real thing in society, killing many of our youth. We, the gay men of society, are not exempt from these diseases.

This is why you need to get tested for HIV/AIDS.

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